Mental Meanderings

The wonders of human connection.

Yesterday, Nada wrote an entry about her Circles of life, talking about the people she calls friends in her life. It got me thinking about how important it is for us all to have some real human connections. Imagine living life without knowing other people, without communicating, sharing problems or simply just connecting with others of our own species.

This morning Josh and I had fun at playgroup. We go every Friday because the playgroup is wonderful. It's hosted by the head of the school's P&C and the school allows us to use the Kindy classroom. (Kindy only go to school four days a week, leaving that room free on Friday's.) The outside area is mostly enclosed (joins with the preschool but is fully fenced from roads and the rest of the school) and it has some nice grassy area's, two sand pits and a climbing frame and slide. Basically, it's ideal for a playgroup and the number of parents and children have been rapidly expanding as the year progresses.

While the changes to get out and play with other kids is wonderful for Josh, I find that playgroup is even better for me. I'm not sure how many of those who read my journal already know, but for those who don't, I'm a sociaphobe. That means I'm terrified of people. Or at least that's how it seems all the time. What I'm really afraid of is the social situations that being around people involves. Humans as a species are generally quite ok. lol

There was a new mother at playgroup today. She suffers from post-natal depression (Which is actually just normal depression but they call it post-natal if you are depressed and you also have a baby under the age of two and didn't notice your depression until after the baby was born. Personally, I think if you saw some of these people prior baby they'd have been depressed then too, having a baby just adds to the stress already in their lives. That's not to say that some post-natal depression's are not caused by the hormones of pregnancy and birth but considering how long these depressions can last I think a broad range of them have nothing to do with that at all.)

Wow, getting off track, anyway, she was talking about how she often felt like a single mother because her husband worked away. He works in the mines on a rotating shift of two weeks on and one week off. That means he's away two weeks straight and back for a full week. I think I'd find this rather disruptive to me but apparently people do it all the time and even more amazingly some people actually enjoy it. Go figure.

Getting off track again. lol Anyway, we got to talking today and it's amazing how important the human connection is between people. I know that I have 0 RL friends. In the sense that I have no friends who I could call up at random to have a whinge with, go shopping, have a coffee, invite over for dinner etc. I'm working to create a few friends but for a sociaphobe it involves a hell of a lot of work. Only 11 weeks of school left in the year and I'm still not comfortable striking up conversations with the other Pre-School parents. I'm starting to get the hang of it but more often than not it's overwhelming.

But this woman seems lovely. It's obvious that with the depression and everything she struggles. But to tell the truth it sounded like she was coping much better than Helen (another Pre-School mum to whom I wrote a letter for a contest - check my port) Sometimes I'm tempted to give Helen some parenting tips. She is so warm and loving and she's so very nice. She is much too nice. Her boy knows it and takes full advantage. He's not too bad, not as bad as Lyn's boy who is a real brat, but he is a little wild. He likes to roam and he doesn't like to listen. With more confidence and a firm tone Helen could turn that around really quickly. But you can't go around telling people how to raise their kids, it's just not done, and if I start doing it people would point out the faults in my own children which lord knows are there. lol

Julie, that's the name of the woman with depression I mentioned, does alright with her beautiful little girl. And her girl, so adorable with this delightfully happy smile that just shows you that her mother is doing something right. She's certainly not lacking for love or basic needs. It's just a shame that Julie struggles so much with her own emotions. I gave Julie my phone number and address and welcomed her any time. Even told her that not only could she call any time if she needed a hand but that she's welcome to drop in for coffee and that I'm even willing to babysit if she needs a break.

I don't know if she'll ever take up the offer. I made the same offer to Helen and haven't heard from her outside of playgroup. But I know how important it is to know that someone is there. It's amazing how much you can cope with when you know that if you can't cope you've got somewhere to go. For some reason, it's when you feel like you are all there is, it all seems so much more impossible.

Next week I think I'll hand out my business cards. I keep forgetting I have a pile of them in my purse and am forever writing down my details for people. Lately because of Kaylie's playdates with school friends. I should just start handing out cards. lol Next week I will, and I'll leave an open invitation but also see if anyone is interested in gathering here the following Friday. Because of the school holiday's the Kindy won't be available for playgroup but that doesn't mean some of the mother's mightn't want to get together anyway.

I'm thankful for my home these days and not so ashamed of it. For a single unworking mother of two I do pretty well. I have my own home, it's not a mansion or anything but it has a lovely big backyard and plenty of floor space. The other advantage of inviting people over is that it gives me more incentive to make sure I keep the place clean. I really need the push of knowing people will be seeing it to make sure I keep up with my dishes etc. lol

*sighs* Ok, well, that's my ramble for today. And to break it down into a managable chunk I'll say: Connecting with others, both online and off is terribly important. All species need to relate with each other and Human's more than most. So, I'm going to make an effort to connect with people offline more. I can't let this phobia hold me back from having a life. You know what I crave these days? A girl's night out. I've never had one. How can you get to 23 and never have a girl's night out? Hopefully, I'm taking the steps to achieve that for myself.