Catching Idle Butterflies

The Beginning

When I was fourteen, three friends and I dreamed of putting together a rock band. Full of dreams of fame and fortune, I began to write lyrics. I'm no musician, so they had no musical accompaniment. Most were silly, but as I continued to write, I found myself pouring my heart and soul onto the pages. Being a teenager is the most difficult things to go through, so writing became my therapy to remain sane.

Then came the day two years later when I gave my life to Jesus. I still wrote lyrics, but they became something more. I began to write about God and my struggles to be what He wanted me to be, to live a life worthy of His smile.

As most teenage dreams, the dream of a rock band fell through.

But I continued to write. Instead of songs, I wrote poems, poems of praise, hope and even despair, but all of it with God as my focus.

Three years later at nineteen, I walked away from my church. I tried to find another one, but every one I attended seemed to fall short of what I needed.

I quit attending completely.

I fell away from God.

I stopped writing.

Thus began a rather dark chapter of my life, but it lightened when I met my soon-to-be husband. We married and for twelve years, I was blissfully happy.

But not content. Something was missing.

I knew what it was and the time had come to return to God. I invited myself over to a coworkers church. The moment I stepped into the sanctuary, I felt that same sense of belonging I had experienced before quitting my first church.

I rededicated my life and I began writing again.

This came as no surprise. I knew why I stopped writing when I turned my back on God and why the desire returned when I returned.

Knowing at sixteen God had given me a gift for writing, I gave my hands to Him to use as He saw fit. When I strayed, He had to take the gift away. He knew I would use it for something other than His glory.

I hope to once again live a life and write the things worthy of His smile.