Straight No Chaser

Peach

aaron's right, it is way too hard to never see sean. and so, because i had to last night, i asked him why, finally; not in a self-deprecating way but genuinely curious, wanting to understand. his oh-so-eloquent answer: "you're not giving yourself enough credit. you're, like, sort of better than you think, and stuff."

i mean, what a fucker, but still. i was almost able to hear a compliment in there.

tuesdays and thursdays are the roughest days of my week. the roughness of tuesday is offset by the grandness of strange's late-evening class; thursdays just suck, uncut. today sucked. suuuucked. double work shift in the morning, plus overtime because i'd left something unfinished; then class; then work again; then class again; then a meeting; then class again; then a continuation of the original unfinished work thing.

this woman, she's been in before. a continuing education student, she's just returning to school after a twenty-year hiatus since graduating high school; she's completely computer illiterate and really doesn't have very strong academic skills, particularly in writing. enter shannon. i've worked with her a few times over the past few weeks, and she is painfully shy, and sensitive about the idea that her educational newness makes people think she's stupid. (i don't think she's stupid; i think she has wisdom most twenty-year-old students haven't begun to uncover yet. but no, she can't spell.)

anyway, i've worked with her a few times over the past few weeks, helping her clarify some of the writing she's done for her entry-level classes. today she came in and she was a mess, almost in tears because she had a paper due today and she didn't think she'd be able to type it in time (having, like i said, no viable computer skills), and she wanted me to do it for her "because you're the only person around here who doesn't make me feel stupid," she said, which was heartbreaking and flattering but technically against the writing center's policy on "helping students"--which is not to entail personal services like typing papers. we don't get paid for those things. anyway, it was a big fuss, and i finally arranged to meet her and type up her paper for a tiny fee (lunch), after which i suggested that she enroll in a basic computer skills class. she'll never be able to succeed in her courses without at least the ability to type up a paper.

so. heartbreaking. and that's why i'm not one hundred percent sure i could do the whole professor thing; i get too too too too frustrated when i can't help more, give more, do more. when a student leaves and doesn't know a thousand times more than she did when she came in.

in other news, it must suck to be angelina jolie right now. is she going to the screen actors guild award show? god damn, imagine the tension. which isn't quite fair, but then again, it's the bed she made and literally laid in, and so. when i get pregnant i'm going to do it haizey-style; wear it like a badge of love and accomplishment and intention; hold me back if anyone tries to suggest i shouldn't look or be that way because of this or that circumstance--wouldn't work. i'd either die or kill.

which is why one shouldn't go around fucking other people's husbands. not that it's what she did. or if she did, not that my opinion means she shouldn't have.

i should come off my high horse, anyway. it would be very, very, very hard to turn down depp sperm.

this is the stupidest entry ever. i should shut up.

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