SuperNova Afterglow Spews Embers of Time

Blindness

I'm laying awake thinking I'm not going to sleep until I write these thoughts down....

Life teaches us to do more, to rise above restraint. But with failing eyesight, I mentally wrestle with this logic each day while I am forced to accept my limitations. I push myself to write, read or research and learn more each day. But, I strain to read text and get frustrated with comprehension.

I'm running to hide in the shadows or fleeing to seek out the light, but I just can't take things as they come. I need crutches to carry me through. I look for my support and find that I have shunned everyone, too proud to ask for help, but hoping someone will offer a lifeline. And when they do, that I won't reject the offer of help again and again until I've chased everyone away.

It's difficult to accept what glaucoma is doing to me, what I'm doing to me. I've got to get a grip on myself, but I can never hold on for very long.

More later.

9/1/2008