Daily Musings

What a year that was

2010 was a very harsh year. I faced the nightmare of self destruction. I went from the unhealthy weight of 110 to 95 pounds. My hair started falling off. I slept 3 hours at most. Basically I died for almost 6 months. It may sound like a substance abuse case or maybe a eating disorder. Nah! neither. My sister was diagnosed once again with sickle cell disease, it had been dormant for years. My Dad was in and out of the psychiatric ward. His wife was having meltdowns due to the stress. My Mom was having heart issues. My partner in crime, father of my girls and first love ever was a total stranger.

I felt betrayed by everything. Nothing was as it should have been. To make things worst I was run over by a speeding van who nearly broke my foot and left me out of work and shocked for 3 weeks. All of this during Christmas time. My favorite time of the year. My birthday too. Now I can honestly say it was for the better. Mom is getting routine help. Dad is doing much better. My fiancee and I broke up. My kids are doing such much better in school..and I?

I still haven't cried for all the suffering. Don't know if I ever will. But my heart is mending. Discovering new people getting creative and writing again have been essential to my mind. Reading lots of books. Basically picking up the pieces and creating a whole new vision in life. MY LIFE.

Can't run yet but I'm taking definite steps towards my rebirth as a person. One thing is sure I will definitely dance again