Small bites

Complexes

Someone told me once that I had the ability to "artfully tell someone they were a piece of s***". It seems my ability to be artful has turned into no finesse whatsoever. Now, I find I lack the ability to phrase things eloquently or efficiently. It seems I'm still struggling with getting the right picture to the person I'm talking to. I do remember a time in my life where I wanted to be focused, not flower things up into something they weren't. Now it seems, that's all I've got.

It has come to my attention today that others may view me as being self centered. I have to wonder if they're right. The context in which this was brought up involved my conversation with customers who visit my store. They hear about my cats, my husband, how I got married, how I was introduced to my husband. But really, they're the same 5 stories to every person I meet. Nothing personal in the personal information. A way to connect to a stranger. Somewhere along the way I picked up the complex.

Which leads me to several complexes about myself.
I am worried others find me self centered or selfish.
I am aware that others find me loud and offputting.


It's strange to know that your keyed to react to what your sensative to, without ever knowing the moment that you became sensative to it. My arguments for the first complex is that the people here, would assume that I am selfish or self centered - I openly show that I don't care about them. I'm aware that others find me loud, something I've worked to supress, as for the off putting - it doesn't hurt my feelings. Usually if I'm off putting to someone it's because I've chosen to be. Usually by pointing out frankly where a person is messing up - with hopes that they correct their mistake.