On My Happy Cloud

Heart Break

I can't believe I never have to deal with it again. The constant fear, the anxiety, staring at the phone waiting for a text. Willing yourself to say nothing to the one who caused it all. Waking every morning unable to do anything. Questioning yourself, always questioning. Trying to convince yourself you're strong, stronger than that. Only to fail moments later. That emptiness in you chest, that promise of time healing all wounds. The sickness in your stomach, that falling to your knees.

And my, did I spend a lot of time on the floor. Staring up at an unforgiving ceiling, tears burning the corners of my puffy eyes. Daylight through the curtains, moonlight through the curtains, constant showering, rebellious cigarettes on the roof, sleeping pills. Sleep, sleep, sleep. Forget, forget, forget.

If only for a little while.

Only to do it again. To have it done again. But not this time.

...Not this time.

I found him.

Elaine Bradley