*Magnify*
    June     ►
SMTWTFS
 
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
Archive RSS
SPONSORED LINKS
Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/1203635
Rated: 18+ · Book · Biographical · #1203635
Blogging from a natural-born ranter.
<<< Previous · Entry List · Next >>>
#818369 added June 1, 2014 at 12:13pm
Restrictions: None
Current blog, still by me
         
I do not talk to myself.

A few hundred years ago I worked in bookkeeping. Sometimes a company will write one check to another company, paying the costs of multiple things, which must be recorded individually. Sometimes the check will reflect a discount for paying quickly, too, and/or a refund.

Well. I had one of those checks to record for the client. It needed to come out of cash, and go into a supplies account, an account keeping track of discounts, and a few other things.

Each account had papers saved in a file cabinet. I was holding three file folders. (No, not people who fold files, stick with me here.) In comes my boss, sees me with two folders in one hand, one folder in the other hand, and a folder on my desk. As I planned out the entry I had to make I looked at each folder. My boss says, "Are you talking to yourself?"

I said, "Of course not. I am talking to the folders." I then discovered my boss had no sense of whimsy.
***


I think there are three things you require to keep going, from time to time. First, a sense of humor. You laugh, and other people laugh, too. Second, a sense of silly. You sit at a child's table and pretend to drink tea. Third, a sense of whimsy. This one is pretty rare. You are willing, Dad, to let your princess hold dresses in front of you while looking at a mirror, and you say, "I really need lipstick to make this outfit complete".
***


I currently talk to my cat. Unlike a dog, he doesn't even pretend to listen. A dog listens to your sounds, knowing that when they end it's time to lower the front end, vigorously wag the other end, and bark "It's my turn to play now". Even so, it's frequently the only conversation I have in a day, let alone an intelligent conversation.

Maybe the cat thinks it's intelligent.

I say "Does my Hunter boy want a treat?" From his point of view, I utter, "blahblo icket boogedy boo, Hunter, iggie oooh goo".

He replies, "Gimme one of those tuna treats. No, not that one, the other one. How many times do I have to tell you I don't like that first package. Oh, jeez louise, no, I want the other tuna flavor, I'll eat those if I really have to, but it's under duress, y'know!"

Then, I think I'm saying, "These are your favorite, I know. That's why you keep stealing them off the counter, and playing with the package. You better be careful, I almost didn't find the yummies because you left them under the couch with only a tiny corner sticking out".

The cat goes to the few treats on the plate. He's thinking If I get rid of these fast enough, I could get some of the good ones right away.

I'm thinking Wow, he really, really loves those things. Look at him gobbling them down. Thus, I continue to stock up on things he hates, while making a note to myself Don't buy those other ones anymore, he hates them.

Maybe the cat doesn't think it's an intelligent conversation either.

(With apologies to The Simpsons)

         




Chriswriter

"It is never too late to be what you might have been."George Eliot

"I like not only to be loved, but to be told that I am loved, for the realm of darkness is great beyond the grave." George Eliot

"Maturity is overrated." Garfield

218143218143
Gift from my Secret Pal, April 2007





© Copyright 2014 Chriswriter (UN: wordwarrior at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Chriswriter has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
<<< Previous · Entry List · Next >>>
Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/1203635