Marcia's thoughts/My Blog City Home

My Thoughts at the moment

My Thoughts At The Moment

I'm not even sure where I'm going to go with this post. All I know is I'm not liking anything lately and all I want to do is cry. I feel lost. I don't like how I feel. I'm. angry, I'm sad, I don't feel good. (I have a sore throat. It hurts to talk.) I don't even like myself lately. It feels like I'm in the way. Why do I feel this way? It's so not me. Damn it I wish I never had my hernia surgery. Before that surgery I could at least get around on my hands and knees and do some stuff for myself. Now, I can't. get on the floor so I've lost a lot of my independence. Most people won't understand that, but the floor was my natural habitat I did everything on my hands and knees. I cleaned my house on my hands and knees. I raised my children on my hands and knees. I did everything on my hands and knees like people that have good legs do things on their feet. I feel lost without that Independence I used to have. Years back when I asked my surgeon when I could get back on my hands and knees she said, I don't want you too. it's what caused the damage...I've tried to get on the floor, but my abdominal muscles are very weak. There has to be a way I can strengthen them. i'm not good at sit ups. I'm only 50 years old. I'm determined to find a way to get my independence back...