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 |   Nadanother blog...sheesh, I guess I DO blog. Completed. |
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I've had a rich past, yet am making a new one with plenty of life's experiences to draw from! I invite you to come along and see what trouble I get into. I'll blog about my life, present, past... whatever comes to mind at the time. I'll try not to be too serious most of the time, heck we get enough of that just living. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Happy New Year! For the mirroring blog series we do on Saturdays:
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| Those of you who have been following the series of blogs on Saturdays might remember during the year 1968 I spoke of being in the Bay area and going to Haight-Ashbury with my visiting mother. It was at the height of the hippy years and I spoke of buying some granny glasses which along with a wig I put on my year old son. I lamented that I no longer had the photo. At five this morning my cellphone beeped waking me. I had forgotten to turn it off yesterday, but there was no way I was going to look at it. Whatever message could dang well wait! After hubby and I got up, I made the coffee and remembered about my cell beeping earlier. Well, it was from Mike. Hawaii is three hours earlier than California. Apparently he was at his dad's house...because on my phone was this picture: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  Yes, he knew I would share it...or did he? You send something like this to my phone, waking me up and oh yeah....it's going in the blog!Needless to say he made it to Hawaii. In fact yesterday he called me about dinnertime, he was driving down Waikiki in a convertible, talking to me on his Bluetooth. He sounded so happy, and I'm happy for him to be on his first paid vacation! He certainly earned it. It does make me want to go to Hawaii though, so I'm going to finish this blog up and call my travel agent. I think we need a Christmas cruise to Hawaii! As usual, no vacation plans are made, but it is getting late in the year, so I will call her panicky. It's usually not hard to find one, it's just the handicap rooms are severely limited, usually about 4 on any given ship, and they go early. H-m-m-m, must have been on my brain because I actually bought a bathing suit today. I tried on four one-piece bathing suits. The first was a shiny Oscar-statue gold color. Flashy, and very unforgiving I discovered. It showed every lump. Why heck, you couldn't even have a goosebump without it seeming like a spotlight was bouncing off of it. If you don't believe me, ask the salesgirl at Old Navy...she'll tell you they were about to call 911 I screamed so loud. Once the shock of that wore off, I tried on a beautiful kelly green one. It was more light absorbing, thus forgiving, but it had a front plunge that came all the way down to there. The next one was black, with a nice criss-cross feature across the tummy...on the hanger it looked like it would effectively hold or at least disguise a little extra tummy. Unfortunately, the straps were so short if I tied them around my neck, I had to hunch over. I think not. Feeling frustrated I grabbed the last suit, another black one. Dang, I felt like Goldilocks, this one was just right. I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact it was two sizes larger than the other three. I actually felt like I may go for a swim this weekend! Oh, and did I mention I got a little black skirt cover-up too? All of that came to the grand bank-account busting total of $29.78.  I just heard the original Bozo the Clown passed away today. Larry Harmon was 83. He took the Bozo the Clown character he played on Los Angeles tv, and bought the rights to the character. He then franchised it all over the world. Who can forget that orange hair? |
I swear, it just is not safe to eat anymore. You turn on the tv and there is some new recall of food practically every day. For instance this morning I see where Ralph’s is recalling ground beef because of e-coli. Swell. Friday begins the biggest summer holiday weekend of the year and if you bought hamburger meat you have to either throw it away or drive back to the store and get a refund. Don't think about tomatoes either.  So by my way of thinking you’re screwed no matter what you do. You throw it away and you’re out big bucks. You return it for a refund and you gotta use your $5 a gallon gas to get there. Of course you could eat it and end up dead or sicker than a dog in the hospital. A no win situation. However, I did find out that watermelon is the new Viagra. According to some study at Texas A & M watermelon delivers a Viagra-like effect to the body’s blood vessels and may increase libido. Ok, screw the burgers and dogs, eat fruit instead.Yesterday I decided to make a little lunch. I was tired of tuna, so slapped together a bologna and cheese sandwich, grabbed some potato chips and sat down to read blogs, munching mindlessly along. Uh-h-h... too bad I didn’t look at what I was putting on my plate or eating. Somehow ants had invaded the bag of chips. I probably managed to chow down on half a colony before I noticed those black dots were not pepper. So what do you do when you realize it? I merely chugged down a can of caffeine-free Coke. I know they love sweet things. I don’t think they can swim. This is not something I recommend, but I am still here to tell you about it, so something worked.Today my son begins his vacation. Cesar drove him to the airport in LA at 6 am. He was so excited, going to fly to Hawaii and visit family. At 10:15 he calls me, the plane is delayed because something was wrong with the a/c. Ahhhhh, poor thing. Then I turn on the tv to see how the fire in Santa Barbara is doing (still burning), and there is breaking news; A bomb scare at the airport. Just his luck. Last I saw they had arrested a suspect and the bomb robot exploded the suspected “bomb” package. It was not a bomb, thankfully. Another reminder why I hate to fly. I'm afraid to call and ask him if he's still waiting to go. Speaking of flying, how in the heck can they start charging you for even one piece of checked luggage? You are told to keep it to carry-ons to avoid the extra charge. Good grief, have any of the people who make these rules at the airlines tried flying lately? Getting bonked on the head by inconsiderate people with heavy carry-ons is no fun. As a person who travels with someone using a wheelchair, it takes so long for people to disembark the plane we have to leave a day early! They need to raise the price of a ticket to cover what it costs, and let supply and demand take it from there. Charging you for peanuts and soft drinks, what is next a toilet fee? Hope you are all having a good week! I am still working out. Will wonders ever cease? Oh yeah, I keep filling out these surveys, so I suppose it is only fair I post it in mine. I thought you only needed to do it once, but apparently every blog you see it in you need to. Yikes!
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| ...and if I add to the first blog it makes 1,000. I'm pretty amazed that for one thousand days I have have pounded out the keys on my computer and managed to stay and to say pretty much what I didn't even know I had to say. Originally I was going to close up shop on this day. End my blog and stop torturing myself. But, this time I didn't feel tortured about coming up with some closing, some kind of clever ending to a book of blogs. Perhaps because I know they do not end at 500 anymore. I feel so much less anxiety about blogging, and it is for several reasons: 1. I have a loyal cadre of readers. 2. I have made some really wonderful friends here. 3. I have an ongoing blog series with one of them, Scarlett   .4. I have received great encouragement (and.or threats ) to be sufficient to make me believe I should carry on.5. I paid my dues for another year! So, I'm not going to try and make you laugh, or make you sad, or mad, I'll just say it is another milestone and I look forward to the future blogs. I sincerely thank you all for hanging in here and being so encouraging, it has helped me more than than these words in this blog can express to you. I'll just keep reading and writing and hope that we keep being kind to one and other. I toast each of you for hanging in with me and now, enough with that I gotta come up with a blog for next time. By the way, Scarlett has been having good weather, says hello, and she is hard at work on next Saturday's entry...what a trooper! I think Murphy might not know where she is....sh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h! |
| I usually have to take a day or so off after my Saturday blog, they are just too emotional lately. So I was eyeballing my poor June calendar, so full of black dates and decided since it is the last day of the month I need to come up with something. Then, I noticed I am just two entries away from my second 500 blog entry. In the old days of WDC you could only blog 500 entries before it had to end and a new one began. Imagine. Well, I thought how fitting it would be to do my 500th entry on July 1. I don't know why. It really has no significance anymore, as blogs can now go on to 750 entries I believe. But, in the spirit of angst ridden days leading up to the "final" 500th entry in the past, here I am. Yesterday I went to my niece's baby shower...you know the one with the frightfully extensive and organic requests...I didn't buy one thing that is organic, I hate rules that make no sense. I mean how many billions of people have made it without organic bum wipes? Anyhoo, it was different. In my day, we had a baby shower, a few girlfriends, a few of my mother's best friends and we would have some punch, and maybe a cake or cookies. Then we would play some silly game or two like; guess the mother-to-be's waist measurement (e-w-w-w-w-w), or guess the day and hour it will be born. Then came the good part, at least for the mom-to-be, the opening of the gifts. Then everyone went home. A few days later thank you notes went out. Well, that is not quite how it was yesterday. There were six tables for ten, plus another table for children, and another table with blue and beige squares and paints and brushes on it. As soon as I walked in I was greeted, walked out to the yard, pointed to the table with paints and told to "paint a square" to be made into a quilt for the baby. Okay. I have to admit that was kind of intimidating, mostly because I knew about it wanted to try designing a square a few weeks ago, but forgot. Oh well, a level playing field. I chose a blue square and painted a huge shell with a big pearl in the center. I was asked if I was an artist, but obviously by someone who was worse than me at it. I took photos of it, and just to provide a giggle, here is one shot of it...ugh... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Then was a wonderfully catered lunch, NO GAMES! It was quite lovely with organically grown food, beautiful seaside theme tables and favors and homemade cupcakes by Ashley's younger sister. Then it was open gift time. I kid you not, it took an hour and a half for her to open everything, and to her credit she read every card, held up every item (yawn) and even when people had to leave she kept at it. I stayed for every last gift opening. I even managed a little bit of a sunburn. And so, I guess this is the entry for 499, not even any really good things to make fun of at this shower. It was the perfect day for the perfect niece, in the perfect yard, in the perfect town of Montecito, full of perfect ladies, perfect long flowing dresses, perfect straw hats and sunglasses, eating perfect food on perfect tables, and perfect gifts. Oh wait, there is the imperfect square I painted for the perfect quilt, not all is lost! |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** " Bridge Over Troubled Waters " 1970 Sung by Simon and Garfunkle Please follow the link to find this entry:
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| I'm so over yesterday's self-indulgent behavior. I know I needed it, but good grief, I do have a life to live and great things to get done. That's the funny thing to me, as I near my sixtieth birthday I feel a sense of urgency like never before. It's like the merry-go-round is bringing the brass ring around for me to grab ahold of, again. You bet this time I'll be reaching out. Risk. Is that something you do in your life? Do you take risks. No, I am not talking about bungee jumping although...I mean like trusting your instincts kinds of risk. People have said to me for many years, "You had such an interesting life." I have had an "interesting" life because I have followed different roads than many traditionally get to travel. I happen to think other people have very interesting lives too. Just different than mine. To succeed in life you need to live life fully. You can't just sit back and wait for it, because life will pass you by if you do. You have to go after life. Anyone can just sit on their rear ends and wave at people going by. It is fun for a day, but good grief, don't you find yourself wondering where they are going? I want to see what's behind door number one...and two...you get the point. Trust me, you can blink and ten years goes by. When we are young, it takes forever from one Christmas to another. Now, they start to blur because they come around so often, the same thing with birthdays. You can take nothing for granted, nothing. I do not want to wake up feeling I wasted anymore of my days, so I don't. Now, because I spent yesterday nurturing myself and being a little self-indulgent I have to finish writing my entry for the blog series. Gawd, no rest for the wicked eh? |
| I spoke with Kathy tonight, about four hours I reckon. (Not counting speaking with her husband for 45 minutes prior, lol.) From the first sound of her voice, I was transported back to my teenage years. I had this odd sensation, not bad at all, but as though I was seeing my life like I’d watch a scary movie at that age, holding up a chiffon scarf to put a slight blur on it. Fuzzy the edges a bit...just in case. I’m not afraid of the memories. I’m afraid I won’t be able to absorb enough of it to get the whole picture. It’s like watching a movie someone else, Kathy, made about my life. She still lives there. She still drives by the old places. She still see’s people whose names, in my mind, appear like a series of Burma Shave Ads, reading one, wondering, then the second and my head cocks, and so forth until the whole thing makes complete sense, and makes you laugh! A bizarre version of word association; the glass jar with water and cigarette butts, Jan’s parties, our street name, Mercury Drive. She has a foot on either side of Route 66, our very own road of teen angst and laughter, the one we both lived and loved sometimes. I’m just trying to cross the creek, hopping from one stepping stone to another to get back to me. I told her about Larry and Buzz. I cried. I felt safe to tell her. Kathy and I had been joined at the hip for a few years. I told her about my father and her mother...or the suspicions. She didn’t know. There is so much she didn’t know about some things. Maybe it was good, but she knows now. I hope she can understand I needed to tell someone who was there. I don’t have much contact with people who were there for things in my life. And oddly enough, she is making me laugh, helping to fill the voids I had to shove aside in order to survive those secrets all of these years. Secrets can be horrible. My world may have been a whole lot different had I not held my two secrets...but then, so would other people’s. Would more people have been hurt? Or would less? I conclude more. I probably did the right thing. So maybe the memories are only horrible for the keepers of the secrets. Time will tell. Kathy sounded content, and excited to reconnect. We could talk for days and days. We will too. Kathy and Sheila, reaching out through all of this time and finding each other. Life is good. And by-and-large because of this blog, it got me writing again and remembering, and caring. I loved her for a reason, many reasons actually, my little partner in our coming of age. Oh, and did I mention her birthday is July 20th...the trilogy of July 20th ‘s is now a QUADRILOGY.  I wrote the above part last night, about midnight, just after the marathon phone call. I had trouble falling asleep, so many names swirling, so much to process. I’ve realized how much of my life I buried. So much of it surrounding my 13th year and beyond. I suppose in an effort to cut out the cancer of the rape I had to cut out a much larger piece to be able to move along in my life. I am beginning to know the consequences reach so far beyond what I believed. It’s very raw, in some ways I feel like I am still that little girl, full of pain, full of anger. Finally. I know it is cathartic for me, but it’s a Pandora’s box I cannot close now, so I will be dealing with it, healing now. It’s time. I wonder about the subtle shifts I will make as I go on fleshing out my memoirs. Getting a real handle on it now. I spoke to my two closest friends, close-by, Betsy  and Lois about all of the feelings which have resurfaced, and what to do with them. The conclusion is to do what I have been doing, keep writing, keep getting it out. So, hang on should be an interesting ride for sure!Oh, and Kathy is a writer! I’m looking forward to reading her writings. The pieces of the puzzle are coming together, finally. Thanks to Kathy for not forgetting me.  |
| I know, it looks like I had dropped off of the face of Blogville this week, but no such luck. I am lurking here in the shadows, trying to get my head screwed in a forward manner, after taking a turn like Linda Blair in the "Exorcist" movie. Well, maybe not that bad, but it has been one of those near whiplash kinds of weeks for me, all good, unless you count the thirty minutes I was suffering after getting all emotionally involved in my Saturday blog. I'm back working on the book, doing research for an agent and still trying to perfect my query letter. Contrary to what you might think, I never had to write one before, and the last time I did it, I really screwed up. I totally forgot to put the book title in it. No huge surprise I got a form letter back. How embarrassing, but I won't be making that particular error again.Awhile back I decided to try and touch base with some kids I knew back in the early sixties, since I was writing about those days. I think I blogged about one who did remember me fondly. I was pretty surprised at how she described me. Isn't it amazing how you can go through those most awkward years of your life, feeling like you are a nobody, then 45 years later someone says you were ....well, something very different than what my self-image was? It has happened again! I get notified by the Classmates.com when new people join, and since I registered at two schools, sometimes it is quite a few names to peruse through. But lo and behold I saw the name of a gal who was one of my best friends in Junior High and then a year in high school. Well, I got a note from her, and then a more detailed letter, once she knew for sure it was me. That is not too difficult to discern, since I have both a "now and then" photo up of me. She said she has been looking for me for 44 years! Wow. She still lives in the same city, and furthermore is still in contact with many of the kids I knew! One of them being the guy who raped me. Unbelievable. I suppose you could say it threw me for a loop. Apparently I never told this friend of mine, which makes sense, especially after how my mother had reacted. So now I know he is alive and retired and where. I have not asked her anything about him, since she volunteered that she has kept in touch with so many people. But, we may be speaking (Kathy and I) tonight, so I've been trying to figure out how to handle it with her. Touchy, and very confusing, now that I know. She also sent me photos she took of our old junior high school, and that has opened some doors to my memory too. I sent her some I had also. Anyway, besides those things I'm still going to the gym, and today was out looking for a place to move to while we rebuild this house. I think I found one. Actually it is just perfect, since it is one of the 23 townhouses we built a few years ago. I wanted one then, but the model I wanted sold immediately, and they have not come on the market since, until now. I would only have to do about a day's work to make it work for us. The woman who is selling did a lovely job of landscaping and keeping it "brand new", since it was only a vacation home for her. She doesn't want to move until Aug. or so...perfect for us. Cross your fingers that my search is over. Just so you know, I probably won't be around until Saturday, have stuff going on Friday, and I need to get my Saturday piece finished. Another emotional piece. I would like to thank all of you for reading our series. We haven't decided how long to keep doing it, but I feel safe saying another ten are coming, since the 70's were so...eventful for me. Just so you know, I promise it is not all bad stuff! Knowing how many of you are vested in the story is great impetus to keep going with it. I hope not to let you down, and to keep it interesting.  |
”I Second that Emotion”-Part 12 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "I’ll Never Fall in Love Again" 1969 Sung by Tom Jones Please follow the link to find this entry:
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** June 19, 2008 Our 25th Wedding Anniversary As you know, we went out last night for dinner to celebrate. Originally we were going to the restaurant we had dinner on the eve of our wedding 25 years ago, but Hubby decided something a little more special was needed. So we ended up in a wonderful restaurant in Santa Barbara, The Wine Cask. We arrived at 6:30 and were escorted through the lovely courtyard to the inside, where we decided to eat. It was an elegant room, old hand painted beams on the ceiling, lovely flower arrangements, incredible art hanging on the walls and rich dark wood chairs, with black leather padding. They contrasted crisply against the white linens. For our dinner we had the chef create a menu just for us, an eight course tasting extravaganza. We had no say in what was coming, rather we left in to the chef. Those of you familiar with the show “Iron Chef” will appreciate the faith you put in him. First things we ate were not of the eight courses, but two little tastes. complimentary from the chef, the first some black halibut in a lovely sauce, followed by some sort of mango juice cocktail. Then the real fun would begin.  I usually follow the five rule, but we had eight courses, and I had asked the chef to write them all out, so I could be accurate in telling you what we ate. Besides, the several cocktails we had just might have made me forget the three hour dinner!1. A truffled egg, with eggplant and truffle sauce. This was absolutely mind blowing. (A literal “puffball” so light and airy, which when cut into revealed a perfectly poached quail yolk, when it was opened it mixed deliciously with the rich truffle sauce ....a unique, rich yet light flavor, subtle and layered.) 2. Toasted eggplant soup, with a swirl of lemon crème fraiché and a basil emulsion. A perfect soup. (Don't tell Cesar I said that!) 3. French white asparagus layered on Serrano Ham and Purslane (I don't know either) sitting on a square of French toast with vinaigrette. 4. Local sustainable Halibut, wild asparagus, Chanterelle mushrooms with Bernaise sauce. 5. Local Abalone, green and white asparagus, tomato geleé in a Meyer Lemon brown butter sauce. (Incredible flavors.) 6. California duck breast, crushed peas, baby carrots, fig relish and duck juices. (Crispy and the fig relish was chewy and sweet!) 7. Duo of prime beef; a red wine poached rib-eye, a seared New York, with heirloom tomatoes, a Roquefort Moussaline and Bordelaise Sauce. 8. A strawberry tart, strawberry sorbet and a red wine reduction. A Cappucino for me, an Expresso for Hubby. Mind you, we did make it clear that we wanted “light” courses, and except for the steak dish at the end, they all were eaten ravenously. I know it is hard to imagine the different styles of plates, the vivid colors on each one, the artistry of each dish, but they were all unique and superb. I forgot to take my camera, so I was able to get the bartender to use his cell phone and take the photo above, sending it to me so I could have a keepsake of the night, and share with you. We had fun between each course telling each other special things, like: What was your favorite memory of us? We each had several. Which was our favorite dining experience? Again, we named a few, including a restaurant in Paris on our honeymoon, dinner with the Captain of one of our ships, just to mention a few. It was great fun remembering so many wonderful experiences we’ve had together. Yes, Hubby loved the dress! Thank you all for the special wishes you left us, I did pass them to Lance too. |
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