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It is so easy to get use to modern comforts that we begin to depend on them.

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Gigantia, land of male girth. Men grow huge! Oblympics, transport, clothing, fun, teens

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The best coffee is smuggled with love.

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storming tyrannis

a short story i wrote for a competition. incorrect grammar intentional

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Burden Personified - the value of objective reality in a world increasingly remiss of it.

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/drschneider/day/8-28-2024

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Le Voyage Magnifique

by Dave's try to catch up.

Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #1236257

A log of the magnificent journey across the vast sea of my imagination.

A sig awarded for winning "The Anything Goes Poetry Contest"

A log of our magnificent journey.

Quill 2025 Nominee

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

🌻 pwheeler ~ happy new year

Nov 10, 2025 at 11:02am
In response to "Stubborn Heart"

So glad for your stubborn heart!

1 Like

Dave's try to catch up.

Sep 6, 2025 at 1:01pm
In response to "Weekend Escape"

Thank you, Steph!

StephBee

Sep 4, 2025 at 6:29pm
In response to "Weekend Escape"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem was about how a beach can take us to a mountain.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the adventure of the poem and how it explored both the beach and the mountain.

STRUCTURE

This is a diamante poem. The rules involve having 7 seven lines, first and last line, just one word which is a noun, 2nd and 6th lines, 2 words which are adjectives, 3rd and 5th lines have 3 words which are verbs, 4th line has 4 words - nouns. Diamantes don't have to play hard by the rules, but they should take the shape of a diamond.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font. I also liked how the ML changed color when the explorer/reader moved from the beach to the mountain. Subtle, yet effective.

DESCRIPTIONS

There are great descriptions for both environments that really give the reader for both such as "sandy," and "tides" for the beach, and "hiking," and "rocky" for the mountain. Well done. Nice transition.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title, "Escape" sets the stage for what to expect from the poem. Solid word choices are used to paint the environments for the beach and mountain. I honestly felt like I was on a adventure. Well done! The poem followed the prompt and used one of the following words: mountain, beach, or forest. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

[Visit the entry for more...]

Soldier_Mike

Aug 21, 2025 at 11:18pm
In response to "Everybody Needs a Hero"

Sounds like we're both fortunate. I owe much of what / how I am to those two fine folks.

2 Like

Dave's try to catch up.

Jul 14, 2025 at 2:41pm
In response to "Buffalo Soldiers"

StephBee

Thank you! It has been fixed.

StephBee

Jul 13, 2025 at 4:29pm
In response to "Buffalo Soldiers"

I really like your poem here - it's a nice tribute to Buffalo Soldiers which is the featured video at the Veterans Group this month. Well done! If anything - I think "soldies" should be "soldiers," if you'd like to fix it.

Smiles
Steph

1 Like

Soldier_Mike

Jul 9, 2025 at 11:48pm
In response to "Buffalo Soldiers"

I met a Buffalo soldier once, and I've seen the 10th Cavalry depicted - or at least mentioned - at least once in a novel. Pretty cool history.

2 Like

Dave's try to catch up.

Jul 2, 2025 at 4:51pm
In response to "Flanders Field"

Thank you! I appreciate that detailed feedback.

StephBee

Jun 30, 2025 at 11:26pm
In response to "Flanders Field"

Thank you for the June 2025 entry for the

FORUM

Honoring Our Veterans - Challenge

(ASR)
Celebrating Veterans Day every day
#423698 by StephBee

It's much appreciated!

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem was a respectful tribute for those who have passed away in war. The use of Flanders Field and poppy seeds stirs up images of World War I.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked the compare/contrast of the battlefield to be followed by flowers.

STRUCTURE

This is a free form poem.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC to increase the font and make it red. It made the poem easier to read on the website.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: Along with crimson poppies, military cemeteries appeared," This is a striking visual - where poppies mark a battlefield and a cemeteries and it stirs a sense of gratitude for those who sacrificed.

[Visit the entry for more...]

Soldier_Mike

Apr 18, 2025 at 11:44pm
In response to "Military "Brat""

All four of my daughters were vets from the moment of birth. They were all born while I was on Active Duty, were born in Army hospitals, and bounced back and forth between the U.S. and West Germany with their mom and me (the eldest ones more than once).

1 Like

August 28, 2024 at 6:46pm

#1075840

On the Hunt

I slither and crawl
through the slime and the grime
in nooks and crannies
of Mother Earth's bailiwick,
searching for lizards and mice.

Wherever they run,
whether sun is up or down,
I'll be there waiting.

Notes on the Oriental Octet form of poetry ▶︎

Comment

August 28, 2024 at 3:06pm

#1075833

Debby

When Debby came to town
and threw a hissy fit,
destroying all we knew,
we became desperate.

Her demonic temper
sent days of drenching rain,
obliterating dreams
and inflicting great pain.

She blew some stores apart
with brutal energy,
and homes were washed away
into the raging sea.

Notes ▶︎

Comment

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/blog/drschneider/day/8-28-2024