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Online blog, open to all to visit and share... |
| My emotions, my thoughts ,sharing and caring , talking about almost everything under the sun and then some! Lending a shoulder to cry on, to any one who might need a hug. So, come on over and we'll have a cup of tea and something sweet ... |
As I was getting a head start of -spring cleaning, I had one too many ,blank notebooks,and journals. I decided to put them in the--- Good Will-- bag, as I did not need all of them. I tend to - buy -- without needing---.The one journal I kept, is a dark blue journal,with a satin sheen cover-- I started to flip through it,and written on a left hand page was this---- " A happy life consists of -tranquility of the mind " ---- I did not write this in the journal, it was my mom,who had. a few years back, I encouraged her to use this journal to write. As she is -- bi polar-- @ 77 years of age-- I though,this would help her with her angst moments. Okay, the writing in journal-- did not continue-- BUT she had written the --quote- It made me wonder where she had read/ heard -- this ? I thought, --- how wonderful this lil quote -- I basically try to live a happy life, literally. It is not always easy. One thing, my mom had shared with me,was to "always have something to look forward too--"and after she said this,I looked at having something to do or someplace I was going, or wanting to go,if in town,or out of state, I relished every second. Even in the planning stage. I have a -- some thing to look forward too-- every evening, at 9 pm--- I am online,and usually playing a game through FB,I listen to --songs through-- You Tube-- . Sometimes it is Elvis Presley, The Beatles , Dusty Springfield, Cher, or Barry White! Whooohoooo-his deep voice! I have three --movie soundtracks, I love to listen, and have them on my -Favorites--- The ILLUSIONIST --Edward Norton ,Paul Giamatti , Jessica Biel ... The Painted Veil-- Edward Norton & Naomi Watts & Toby Jones Charade -- Audrey Hepburn & Cary Grant--- This is all for now ! Take care.... |
| I have come to a better understanding of myself. Feel about myself and my emotions. For the past two years this coming August,my life changed forever. The ONLY sweetest moment of this time was the birth of my sweet lil niece. She is a true joy in my life. I only wish my dad was here to see his first granddaughter and that my cousin Tina ,who died a week after my niece was born,could be here. Tina, had lung cancer ,and died at her home. Tina was 55 years old. My dad died in 1984. The worse part of these last two years , I hit rock bottom with my emotions. Two friendships changed for the worse and still are not even close to being like before. I came to a conclusion , to put this behind me. The months and months and thousands of seconds ,I have cried because .Bringing me to the point of questioning myself ,as a physically challenged woman,at 54 years of age,what good am I? What good am I to others? Why are they in my life? What do they see & feel about me? This last Friday,I had these thoughts answered. I have been visiting an elderly lady with -dementia-for two years .She lives at an -assistant living--A few months ago, I bought a -NOOK-from -Barnes & Noble--I adore this store! I had been taking my laptop to play either DVDs or to watch -You Tubes-I decided to buy the NOOK-as it would be easier to carry and compact! I even added Wifi- to my ATT service. So,I took my NOOK-and for the last three months, have either played -You Tubes-or read Nook-books --for --this lady I'll call NAN---It started out for just NAN and myself,then another lady whose husband is at the same --asst living-on the warm days,the lady ,her husband ,Nan & I have sat out on the porch,and I'd play -You Tube songs-on the NOOK. So, it was this last Friday,it was too chilly to sit out side. After lunch, I was pushing Nan in her wheelchair,towards the --breezeway-where are two small tables with chairs and it's sunny ,as it's all windows. I saw these two other ladies in their wheelchairs,and asked them,if they'd like to come and listen to music? One of the ladies,who never smiled at me,nor talked.I thought to myself,--lets see how this will go or not?--- So,here we were, Nan,the two ladies and myself. I told them Nan & I like Elvis Presley,so we listen to that most of all. Well, they liked Elvis too! We talked about different singers ,including Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra . So,I found a Elvis song and started to play. It was --Teddy Bear--Well,when the song started playing,the one lady who never smiled,started to smile and started to sway her arms and hands in time to the music and a grin came on her face! I thought to myself---this was worth every second,I have cried these last two years. This was worth every moment of feeling alone. Maybe about -25 minutes had passed ,when Nan's roommate showed up in her wheelchair. Then 20 minutes after that another lady .She had never been in this back area before,so,it was a surprise to see her! One of the ladies told her,we were listening to music. This lady as well,likes Elvis music! Seriously ,the man had a voice ,one of the sexiest chest,next to Tom Selleck , I have ever lusted over! Then,there is Sean Connery,he rates on everything sexy wise as well! Back to my blog! We all sat there,listening to many -Elvis songs on -You Tube- for about an hour and a half. Even some of those that work at the--asst living, when walking by,started to dance a little.. When it was time for me to leave for the day, I promised ,we'd listen to -You Tubes again-- on Monday! So, I'll see! Sometimes, opening a can of worms is not so bad,it can be a sweet thing as well... Go figure, four senior ladies,liking Elvis music! If I can make a difference to anyone, please let me continue, for as long as I am alive ... |
| Today, I read online that -Eydie Gorme- passed away. She was 84 years old. Her husband, Steve Lawrence and their son,and family were at her bedside ,when she died. I have always loved their songs,when they either sang together or solo ! A true classy lady,and few of the last of true class . |
| Never Again-- A song sung in the past by -Elvis Presley-- Most likely, there are others who have either sung this song,or one day might. I had not listened to this song in a year or so. I know a few things in my life will never change . Few things I'll forever and ever hold closest to my heart including my relationship with God, comes first,family and friends second . I'll be honest and say, some friends, and family have let me down. Should I even feel I can feel this way? I don't think I went into a friendship ,kicking and screaming my head off! Blindfolded ,so that what their true selves could be like, I cannot see? Nope! I was NOT dragged nor blindfolded. Then what about my family? Have I been wearing those --provebial -- rose colored glasses---when I assume everything for the most part is good , kind and sincere ,where it's not? When, I'm the one who is looking from the outside in, with my family, or certain friends for that matter? When I am unaware of conversations or opinions or negative feelings..When alll I ever thought of , wanting to prove I am sincere,I am caring ,I do love ,and cherish. I do have feelings ,that words can hurt. I have allowed my mindset to be stuck in a place that is filled with saddness and untrust and loss of faith in how I feel of others? I want to change allllllllll that,and be who I use to be...-focused,organized AND back to --reading a book - from cover to cover---and then starting another! Never again--do I want to be on this level of sadness ever again.... PS .. To self---- You are NOT obligated to any one person on this earth ,that you have allowed to -change your perspective , that not everyone, no matter how many many many years of knowing someone ----- even through friendship ,they should want to sincerely love and care about you, because that! is a laugh. Basic trust and admiration ,faith, understanding and ,no matter what, nothing would change that ...so,when it does happen,as it has,get past it, move on,become a stronger woman,it's not the end to all the love..I want to focus on the beauty of writing, happiness and knowing I am loved..Thats my semi rant for tonight! |
| Yesterday,Saturday,I went to see the 3:30 PM showing of the new James Bond movie-- SKY FALL--I had not been to an IMAX theater here in Charleston... until yesterday. I seriously ,will never want to go to another movie unless it is an IMAX-- maybe just for -James Bond movies---not surrrre yet? All I know is ,Daniel Craig-- is seriously sexy, handsome, beautiful and I HOPE he'll portray JB in the next three movies at least! I love alllllllllllll the -JB movies and adore alllllllllllthe actors who portrayed JB-- over the years,but I have to say,this movie was action packed and never a dull moment... After it was over, I went to -- Barnes & Noble-and bought the sound track to SKYFALL-- as it has caused a strange change in me,no matter what happens in my life, no matter if I fail, let down another,(which I sincerely do NOT want to do), have the moments of feeling frumpy, useless and unloved...there will always be prayer ,faith and courage... and music whether it be instrumental ,classical , The Three Tenors- orrrrr my babee luv--Elvis Presley--I will always be grateful to feel love, joy and utter happiness having music to listen and to have the sensation of a touch of a hand, hugs or love when it is unexpected... If it had not my going to see this movie, I do not think,I'd be feeling this way...the soundtrack from the movie touched my soul...Hope where ever you are tonight, your tomorrow will be a very safe ,warm and hugged day..... gnite............as it is 12:48AM Sunday early morning.... ;) |
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