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My thoughts released; a mind set free |
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These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. |
| I had a terrific break in my chemo routine, thanks in part to the medicine that made me sick and forced me to miss a session. The added time had given me time to start healing; I was feeling a lot better, not back to my old self, but well enough. Now, four days after my last infusion, I'm once again sliding down the banks of the River Styx. I had felt like I had been wading, waist-deep, in the deathly waters, trying to avoid someone in a boat. I'm not that far gone yet. I may be slipping down the bank, getting closer to those dark, swirling, and unwelcomed waters, but I'm not in them yet. I'm hoping this is as bad as it's going to get from my last infusion, but I'm sure the next one will knock me down even more. But it's supposed to be the last session of chemo, and even knowing it's going to be tough, the thought of being done with them gives me hope and strength. Next month, I will see my VA doctor to talk about some options for the neuropathy, and at that time, I will discuss with her my desire to talk to a different oncologist. My current oncologist informed me that doing a CT Scan won't show anything until the cancer returns, yet he still has me scheduled to take one a week after my last chemo session. I asked what options are available if the cancer shows up, and he answered, "There aren't any, you'll die." Not his exact words, but close enough; and enough reason to seek out another opinion, and possibly, more options. |
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