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My thoughts released; a mind set free |
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These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here, I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. |
| We've changed the clocks again. It's a real pain in the ass for most people, and it doesn't do anything positive, yet every spring we move it ahead an hour and every fall we move it back. Living as far north as I do, I'd prefer to leave them on regular time, but I understand a lot of people prefer to leave them on Daylight Saving Time. I've said for years that we should jump ahead thirty minutes and then just leave them alone. That's a compromise I think everyone most people would be alright with. But I'd be fine with leaving them on regular time or leaving them on Daylight Saving Time, just leave them. What I don't understand is how anyone can think the time change gives an extra hour of daylight. I've read it a few places here and, like Charlie Brown listening to Lucy, it gives me a stomachache. We currently have eleven and a half hours of daylight; changing the clock did not increase it to twelve and a half. It only changed the time it gets light and the time it gets dark. It's simple, yet some people just don't get it; there is no extra hour of daylight. The very name, Daylight Saving Time, is a lie! Nobody saves any time in the spring, and nobody loses any time in the fall; approximately twenty-four hours year-round, that's what we get. I suppose part of the reason I dislike Daylight Saving Time is that it's yet another lie governments tell the people, and it's yet another example of people's lives being disrupted for no practical reason. |
| Time differences, that's it. I was just late getting in here today and thought I would get my stuff done before midnight, no problems. Only my midnight is an hour after WdC midnight, so once again, I kind of spaced it. Oh well, that's the way it goes. Today was kind of like that; it started right away this morning. I woke up too damned early and couldn't get back to sleep because I remembered I had an infusion sometime this morning. Did I set the alarm? What time do I have to be there? What the hell time is it anyway? I got up and checked to see what the time was. I knew it was early because it wasn't light yet, and I knew it wasn't night anymore because it wasn't dark enough. It was seven. I checked to see what time I had to be at the hospital: ten-thirty. I checked my alarm; it was set for eight. I could go back to bed for a while. No, I'm up, I may as well start the coffee, so's I did. I got to the hospital on time and had my port accessed, blood drawn, and then we wait. We wait for the labbers to do their stuff and relate their findings to the doc, who then comes in and goes over everything with me. The Zack, my nurse for today, came in for another tube of life-fluid; the doctor wanted to run some tests for my pituitary gland. More waiting, but eventually the labs were back and in comes my doctor. We had a good visit, my labs were all normal except I was a bit dehydrated. Then we discussed the side effect of my immunology infusion on the pituitary gland. It causes hypothyroidism. When it manifests, we'll treat it with hormones to maintain the proper balance. Not if, when. The results she needed were not in when I left, she said she'd call. I knew she meant she would have Zack, my nurse, call and relate the information. As of now, I have not heard anything about the results. I'm assuming no news is good news and my glands are glanding properly. The forecast for today was 50s, sunny, mild weather. The morning fog didn't lift until after it was getting dark this evening, it didn't quite reach 40, and it was drizzling most of the day. We also are under a winter storm warning, and I can almost hear the meteorologist telling his/hers boss, "New things have come to light, man." It hasn't been a bad day, it's just been an off day. My monthly infusion seems to do that. I don't feel bad after, I just feel off. It usually only lasts the day of, but it has made the following day an off day as well. It's also affecting my eyesight, but I still don't know if it's permanent or not, but my oncologist and my regular doctor are both looking into it. I can't set up an eye exam until I know. It's not a bad change to my vision, it's actually an improvement. Actually there's a trade off, my close up vision is a bit worse, but not significantly. But my normal vision has improved. It's nice to see clearly without glasses. It would be terrific if this is permanent. |
| It's still above freezing here, and today we saw early spring weather, temperatures in the fifties, lots of sun, and just a light breeze; a very beautiful day. Most of the snow is gone except in areas where the sun doesn't reach it, and even that is diminishing rapidly. We had to make an early run to Fergus Falls again today. My wife needed to have her hearing aids cleaned and serviced. We arrived a half hour early in hopes of her getting in right away. It's a walk-in, first-come type set up, and we hoped to be done quickly. I know, it never works out that way. Or does it? I dropped her off at the door and went and parked. I had just shut the engine off when she texted me she was done and at the door. I knew right then, this was going to be a good day. Since we finished up so quickly, we decided to take a scenic route home, driving through the metropolis of Phelps Mill (you can look that one up, but I doubt the population exceeds fifty people. They do have a nice park, and we were hoping walk the dogs a bit, but the park was still closed for the season. From there, we headed over to Pelican Rapids to grab some breakfast. WE got goodies to go and proceeded to drive over to Maplewood State Park and walk the dogs there before returning home. It was a fine day, an enjoyable morning, and I noticed one thing in common at every location: ice. Lots of wet, slippery, and thick ice. A few more days like today and we should be about done with the ice, but until then, it's almost impossible to walk anyplace without doing some kind of funky, slip-sliding, disco moves on the ice. As I said, a few more days of the ice capades, then we get to deal with the mud capades. Then, once the ice and snow have all but vanished, the mud has all but dried up, and spring officially arrives, we'll get dumped on with at least a foot of wet, sticky, and heavy snow one last time; we always do. |
| We have Sunday, Monday, and now, Murphday. Murphday isn't a regular day that repeats regularly, but we all have Murphdays randomly; today was my Murphday. What is a Murphday? It's any day when things just refuse to go as planned, or right. It's a day when Murphy's Law rules. Today was my Murphday. Right from the start, not even one cup of coffee down, and things began to go amok. Despite numerous attempts to set the day right, it continued to morph into a Murphday. There wasn't anything I could do to change it, so all that was left to do was to surrender and roll with the punches. So that's just what I did, I stopped trying to make the day right, and made myself right with the day. Yep, sometimes you're the windshield and the next, you're the bug. Now it's time for me to "bug-out". |
| Today I traveled to Fergus Falls to see my cardiologist for a three-month follow-up. Everything went well, and she said I'm doing well, but she was concerned about an incident when I was in for my last endoscopy. That was a messed-up day to say the least. I was scheduled for ten-thirty and told to show up a half hour early. That meant I had to be up pretty early so I could get to Fargo, about a two-hour drive from home to the hospital. No coffee, no nothing after midnight, so it was already a rough morning. Once checked in I was moved to a prep room pretty quickly, but they didn't have anyone who could access my port and would have to have an IV put in. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem, but when this was done, I was still not getting enough liquids, and it was difficult to even find a vein. But the nurse tried and failed; she pushed the needle all the way through. Second attempt in a new location didn't go any better, but at least she didn't push the needle through. She gave up and got another nurse who didn't do any better, so she called for someone to come with an ultrasound to put the IV in. After a few minutes, she had located a vein and, with the help of the imaging, put the needle in the first try. Why hadn't they just done this right away? After I was hooked up to the IV bag, they put the monitor patches on my chest, plugged me in, and wheeled me off to the endoscopy room. That's when I fund out that my doctor wasn't at the hospital yet, but I was assured he would be along any minute. But someone had messed up in scheduling; my doctor wasn't there until one in the afternoon, and I was stuck in an uncomfortable hospital bed, wired, punctured, and all hooked up. After my two week stay stay in that same hospital, and all the problems I had, things didn't go well. I don't like hospitals anyway, and after my stay, I developed an actual fear, not a phobia, but a fear of hospitals, and the next thing I knew, I was feeling a panic attack coming on. I deep breathed, I asked for something to calm me, but in the end, I just had to lie there and deal with it; I went into AFib and almost didn't get the procedure done at all. I did talk my doctor into going ahead with the scope, but he didn't stretch my opening like he usually does because of the AFib, and I didn't come back out until after we had left the hospital. This incident was in my records, and I had also had a few incidents at home going into AFib, but these tend to be short, just a few minutes, and maybe once a week or less frequently. At the visit today my heart was doing great, my blood pressure was ideal, and my pulse was strong and regular. Another ultrasound of my pump was done as well and the old ticker is doing great. My cardiologist and I discussed possible causes, like electrolyte imbalance, low potassium, etc. She also asked me if I still had an anxiety disorder, and if I'm taking medication for it. "Yes, I still have it, and no, I'm not taking anything." The anxiety tends to come with stressful situations, visits to the hospital, and when I don't get enough sleep (the immunology causes insomnia sometimes). She informed me that it may be my anxieties that trigger the AFib and wants me to wear a monitor for two weeks to see when and for how long the sessions last. Once we get the results, I'll have logged stressful times, any panic attacks, and anything else that I'm doing that puts a strain on my ticker; like a little while ago, I went out and chipped some ice from the sidewalk. I don't feel like I AFibbed, but I logged the activity and let the monitor do the rest. It's still sounding good. She wants to monitor my heart, but doesn't think I need to go on any medication. I hope she's right. |
| We are, according to the liars meteorologists, done with the severe cold. Is it severe? Sometimes, but other times, they describe it as bitter cold. We are not done with the cold by any means, but the forecast shows above freezing temperatures during the days, some even into the fifties, and down into the teens and twenties at night. Hopefully, they are right, but that doesn't happen very often. If it remains warm enough, the ice should melt enough that the person we purchased our camper from should be able to deliver it. He stored it in a pole building with a sliding door, but the bottom track became frozen with all the ice we received early on, so the door won't open until the ice melts. In anticipation of the camper being delivered, we have begun to set aside some items that will be going into it. I have also purchased some items, like the solar panels for it. A lot of things we use for camping are currently in our mobile-tent (pop-up) camper, and we cannot get them out until it's a bit warmer. Even if we did get it up and open, we don't have anyplace to put the items until the hard shell camper arrives. It really isn't a big deal; we won't be going camping anytime soon, it's just excitement and anticipation. In fact, if he did deliver the camper now or soon, I'm sure it would turn back to winter with a lot of snow. That would be fine, too; we could get more snowshoeing in. |
un: 
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