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Friday, Apr. 19, 2024

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Inner Workings of the Machine

by Storm Machine

Rated: 18+ · Book · Other · #1946560

When one blog is filled, another one must open.

Coming soon: more work from someone creative, ambitious, and determined - often called a variant of insane/crazy.

Notes: Genderfluid. Preferred pronouns (they/them)

[& denotes married couples]
Immediate Family: soon-to-be-ex-Dilbert, Tempest, Dogbert

My Extended Family: (s)Dad, cousins (K, D, G, J, F, N) I guess it's good to be on speaking terms with someone. Voluntarily. AuntS
Dilbert's Extended Family: SIL (+5 kids)& BIL, FIL's gf (only for holidays, mostly)
Important People I Don't See Enough: Owl + Partner, Paradise ICON crew (which owl is a part of)
People I've Known a Long Time/Long Distance: Doc & [husband], Sheer & DocSheer, Mrs. Light & [husband], Trillium & Diego (not married but close enough), Steph
Local People: MotherDroid, Owl&Partner ... There are about to be new people on this list, because, well, I'm evolving. And it hurts.

DnD: used letters, S (DM), D(doctor), Y(because I like him!), K(old RPGer friend who also attends church), P(church guy who does game night and is local and our families are also friends), A (went to church but moved back to Chicago, moved back locally then i moved)
Tempest's friends: I don't know very many of her local friends. She's got an internet buddy who also talks to CousinK's younger daughter. the younger daughter is DRAMA.
Dogbert's friends: Has a new group of friends based on a Pokemon thing and they have a DnD club at school and outside of school. Lucky kid!

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Brandiwyn🎶

Jan 26, 2024 at 10:14am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

It occurs to me that while at first glance, his reactions seem supportive, some of it may be financially motivated on his end. Shared parenting and you getting an engineering job would both impact the state's child support calculations.

Storm Machine

Jan 24, 2024 at 2:11pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

He had actually mentioned that specifically.

Brandiwyn🎶

Jan 24, 2024 at 11:06am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Did you ask the attorney about the inheritance? Assets are assets.

Also: *hugs*.

Storm Machine

Jan 21, 2024 at 12:16pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

It's part of a business - we could split the yearly maintenance fees and each get a week vacation every year. I'm thinking about it, like so many other things.

He said today he doesn't want to tell the kids until after my daughter's finals week. She already knows, but OK.

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Jan 21, 2024 at 1:27am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Sometimes when the decision is finally made the 'fighting' ends. You both know that the path forward isn't trod by looking behind. Therapy will help with that.

Can the vacation property be lived in year-round? (Me, be nosy... no response expected. My cousins' summer-shanty would have had to be winterized.)

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Jan 17, 2024 at 2:45am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Priorities... The 'house' isn't #1 imho. Leaving should be #1. Finding a place that's suitable is fine; be prepared to make sacrifices. A 2 bedroom may work. Keep the price within the means of what the new job offers.

Lawyer... kudos for doing that. Let the lawyer deal with any legal aspects.

Counseling! Again, kudos, it may or may not be fixable but that will become clearer over time.

The noodles... you may be over-reacting. But that's what counseling is for. The underlying issues need to be found and dealt with.

I hope this works for you. Relationships are precious, even when they need to be redefined, even when they need to end.

And remember... unsolicited advice sometimes stinks. That's why we have garbage bins.

1 Like

Storm Machine

Dec 24, 2023 at 5:44pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Time by volume instead of length: A full day versus a long day.

We all have those encumbrances of relationships we drag with us. Or, maybe not all of us. But I'm tired of it.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Dec 22, 2023 at 9:52pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Time by volume... like filling up a balloon or a room or... I dunno. My morning routine was about 1 meter squared... cut in half. How many squares can I stack in a day? What's the size of my room/body/life I inhabit?

I'm filling up my time dog paddling through this experience in Thailand. I figure that swimming is better than drowning. Been there before.

My relationship... is rocky at the moment. Nice 1 minute snuggle this morning; but frankly, I want more. Regardless of his issues... I could use a therapist to help me deal with mine.

My back is doing somewhat better with daily exercise (or exorcise as I call it). I don't take good care of myself when I'm alone. I shouldn't be alone.

My chiropractor friend told me a long time ago (over 20 years) that one of my issues was my mother. She used Bio-Energetic Synchronization Technique (B.E.S.T.) if I remember right. When my mother died last year at age 99 I felt a weight lifting. I was 'free'. Mind you, she'd become a sweet old lady; but, my inner child still remembered the Before Times. I find it sad in retrospect.

1 Like

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Nov 21, 2023 at 11:13am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I think I have to thank May, Michigan and Keith. T'was 1999 and I became a poet. My Muse broke out of its chains. Come to think of it... it was a crossroads.

I don't market. Could I? Should I... *shudder*. I'm fortunate to get out of bed everyday. There were times in the past when that wasn't guaranteed.

80k is impressive. I have focused on blogs this November but even that's just 14k.

I think you're right about creating and sharing. Focusing on the process will get results... in time.

Kåre Enga in Udon Thani

Oct 29, 2023 at 12:23pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Tech... can't live without it these days. Drives me nutters at times.

Marketing? I'm fortunate to just stay semi-happy-awake-functioning-whatever.

Very stressful week.

1 Like

October 8, 2022 at 9:28am

#1038849

Meds and Preptober...

I've been officially diagnosed ADHD since Sept 1. While I knew that the diagnosis fit, I also found that making that official and having the entire DSM-V of symptoms compared to mine a difficult task. I appreciate my therapist for figuring this out, and I wish I would have known these things as a child. It would have changed so many things.

Thursday and Friday were my trial run of stimulant medications for ICON (which is next weekend). I took one really low dose for Thursday: The fog that happens when I try to focus on something for a period of time (which also leads to me getting distracted) lifted. I could pay attention to the thing I was researching and then let the rest go (not an endless rabbit hole that it often tends to be). I didn't have to look at my phone every other minute (or five minutes, it's hard to tell). Even if it had notifications, i could still work through things without looking (checked maybe once an hour?). I rewrote a chapter (about 2500 words with complete retyping) as it was wearing off and I'm proud of myself for that effort. I also Prepped and things felt like they are coming together. Wore off around the time I picked up the kids from school and I slept decently.

Friday I took two, which is going to be very much like next Friday during critique day. I was a bit distracted by my daughter's new restriction of non-weightbearing (She broke her foot during a bicycle accident in gym class on Tuesday). Now she has a scooter and crutches as options. Despite that, I started a chapter that isn't in the old rewrite category because I have to change too much. That's slower work but it was coming along. And I finished all nine reviews for ICON. I could focus on them. I could analyze them so much better. I no longer feel like the worst reviewer (probably my head playing games with me, but yeah).

I am hopeful that I won't have a migraine at the end of the critique day. I'll still be bringing my migraine meds because that just isn't fun.

Sadly, my psychiatrist doesn't feel like adults who didn't have stimulants as kids need them as adults. Because adults "like them too much" and he's afraid i'll adjust to whatever dose and just want more and more like an addiction. We don't see eye to eye on a few things, and the other psychiatrists I've seen set such a low bar he's the best one I've ever had.

1 Like • Comment

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