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My Personal Blog. |
| This is a blog about the book I am currently writing, CHERRY’S WINGS. This book is a follow up to my published book, CHERRY’S ARMY. My’ blog will also deal with other things that I am doing now. |
SILKEN WINGS Butterflies with gossamer wings are dancing in the air They are not afraid to fly, they go everywhere First they glide, then they land on every lovely flower The sweet nectar that they sip replenishes their power Strong wings won’t be caged, they’re always in a hurry Waltzing through the sky so fast, wings a little blurry Birds and bees, and butterflies all have silken wings Flitting from place to place for the joy that it brings |
| I have decided on a new title for the book I am writing. The title is CHERRY’S WINGS. |
| To continue in the discussion of Asperger symptoms, I will now address the topic of numbers and patterns. Strange as it may seem, those with Aspergers are often good with numbers and patterns. This is true of me. I love putting puzzles together and doing word find activities. I am also very good at solving math equations. I don’t need to follow certain routines, such as getting up at a certain time or eating at a certain time. I do, however, like the dishwasher loaded the same way each time. If someone else loads it, I will often move things around and reload it. When I put clean dishes away they need to be placed in the exact same spot each time. Most of the time I rearrange the silverware after someone else puts them away. When I take eggs from a carton the eggs that are left have to be put in a precise pattern. Which pattern doesn’t matter. They just need to be in a pattern. |
| I will probably be changing the title of my new book to Cherry Flys, Cherry’s Army Flys, or something similar. What do you think my title should be based on my entry for my new book? |
| Poor motor skills can also be a symptom of Aspergers. Handwriting, sewing, needle work, anything that requires precision can be difficult. A person with Aspergers is often awkward and clumsy. No matter how hard I try, my handwriting is very difficult for others to read. I can’t sew neatly or do any kind of needle work. When the other girls were doing cat’s cradle or any other string game at school, it was impossible for me to play with them. |
| I meet a number of the criteria for an Aspergers diagnosis. I will discuss a few of them. First, a person with Aspergers has trouble making friends and maintaining a conversation with others. I have trouble making friends. Everybody likes me, but nobody is close to me. I don’t have a close friend to confide in. I also have difficulty carrying on a conversation with others. I mainly listen as others’s converse, and don’t like to participate in group activities. |
| I had decided I didn’t have time to write anymore after I finished writing CHERRY’S ARMY. I found out the choice wasn’t entirely mine. WINGS I must have forgotten who I am because I’m once more compelled to write This time my verses are about good things and not about anger or fright It’s not as if I’m completely healed, I still contain a large number of survivors But they want me to write and tell about our life and they will be my advisers Writing is the way we reveal our thoughts and feelings as we still recover. You never know what we might find as hidden thoughts and hopes we discover Rainbows and dreams are in our hearts as we look around at the earth and sky We were given the wings of birds like doves and we were encouraged to fly |
| Quite a few things have happened since I let my membership expire. One major thing is that I wrote a book and iuniverse is publishing it. It will be released in October. The title is CHERRY’S ARMY. I hope you will purchase it and read it. It is a powerful account of my abusive childhood and my recovery. I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, (DID), formerly called Multiple Personality Disorder. (MPD) my book is written in verse, as well as having some pages in regular writing. I am planning on blogging about my current life experiences on a regular basis. Here is the first entry for my blog. Many people wonder why I chose to put my journal verses in book form. The reason is simple. I had all these verses scattered through several notebooks. I didn’t want to lose my verses, nor did I want to keep all the notebooks. They were taking up too much room and I couldn’t locate any specific verse if I wanted to reread it for some reason. I decided to gather all my verses into one place, so took out my notebooks and started to copy them onto a word document. I was amazed at how many verses I had actually written. This was a very time consuming job and I almost gave up several times. I am a determined person however, so I would always resume the project at a later time. It took me several years to compile my verses in one place. I misplaced many of my poems due to the fact that I am a very disorganized person. As a result some of them are missing. My psychologist, Dr. Alan Franks, had asked me many times to share my verses with other abuse victims, as he felt they could be helpful in their recovery also. I wasn’t interested at the time. I was much too busy trying to survive the memories as they were recovered. After a few years had passed and I was functioning more normally, I started thinking about what Dr. Franks had encouraged me to do. It kept bothering me that I was keeping them to myself when I should have been using them to help others. That thought kept circling around in my head until I felt compelled to do something about it. I felt that if I didn’t, I would never have any peace. The experiences didn’t just belong to me, they belonged to all the others inside and they wanted me to share them. I decided to write about the verses, explaining what was happening that caused me to write that particular verse. I figured that if I was going to write about my past abuse I needed to introduce my story by writing about my family life. I wrote about my birth family and about what I had experienced at their hands. I also wrote about my current family and what they were experiencing as I recovered. It seemed that the more verses I wrote, the more explanation was needed. |