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 |   Life is rough...I have to write it out. |
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I start blogs.....I neglect blogs....I abandon blogs. I start blogs.....I neglect blogs....I abandon blogs. I started this blog....I loved this blog....I abandoned this blog. I started this blog....I loved this blog....I abandoned this blog. I guess it is a good thing I didn't actually hold my breath. |
Day 12 Prompt: Creation Saturday! If you could erect a statue of any inanimate object to represent you, what would it be, and what would the dedication plaque on it read? This is pretty simple for me actually. It would look like this: ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** As for what it would read, this is where Husband A holds a slightly differing opinion. I said “Fuck you.” He said “Fuck off.” (Well first we discussed another option than ran rampant with crudity. Nothing I haven’t said on this blog before…in fact I have said it twice…yet when put together with its corresponding statuary, it became something…more. Something fucking awesome really. Alas…I couldn’t find a picture and without one it felt so incomplete.) After a deeper discussion, fueled by substances, which took into consideration things such as each phrase’s context and personal meaning and which one applies more to my own personal meaning. (Sometimes….after 20 years…this is how conversations go.) It was decided that because the ways in which I use the phrase Fuck You almost always employ the universal “you”, that it was the winner. But big….like….as big as the statue. I would also like the text to randomly flash neon pulsing lights at one point every day. Just for 3 Mississppis; blink and you might miss it. So, guess what I just saw? I didn’t choose an inanimate object. That sucks. I can’t fix it because today life sucks. |
Day 11 Prompt: Fun Fact Friday! On this day in 1875, "Professor Tidwissel's Burglar Alarm" was featured in the New York Daily Graphic and became the first comic strip to appear in a newspaper. Do you have a favorite comic strip, online comic, or cartoon character? What makes that appealing to you? When I was a little girl I did love the funnies in the Sunday paper. I liked Ziggy and Garfield…before that maybe a little Marmaduke or Family Circus. I mean choices were definitely limited. We couldn’t look on the internet for the latest news on our favorite animated characters. I also truly adored The Flintstones and The Jetsons. Also….Thundercats…HO! But a favorite that has remained pretty constant throughout most of my life is Batman. He’s not a superhero really. He is just a hero. And heroes (even the super variety) should always always be born from viciousness. Not from a bug bite or from a cozy pod flight with some turbulence, and I definitely don’t want to hear how you had to live without your luxuries at the beach for a while. I don’t need his experienced viciousness to feed vengeance (though I do love me a little bit of vengeance) I just need it to feed his behavior and his motivations. I like that he is targeted in ways that he actively fights against. Superman is targeted with Kryptonite, Wolverine needs to avoid Magneto (maybe solid advice for us all, except good ole Mag really hasn’t been bothering me that much lately) but Batman…he’s just trying to stay alive. He has crazy people that target him but they do it in normal ways. They just want him dead and if the Joker can accomplish that with a simple gun then I am sure he would. Sure they have flair, but they need no special powers to take out Batman. And to totally turn a corner….I cannot deny my love affair with Homer Simpson. Not The Simpsons, but Homey. There is nothing wrong with Homer…he is my adulty pothead version of Fred Flintstone. |
Day 10 Prompt: "A man knows better than he hopes." What do you think about that? I guess I don’t think much about that at all since I am having a very difficult time writing anything that equals more than a paragraph…a paltry one at that. Men do know better than their hopes. That is why they are hopes. Wishes. Wants and desires. Ambitions. Theories and hypotheses. Longings. You hope for something or some outcome even though you know better, you’ve bet the odds… you know the score. If we didn’t know better than our hopes then life would literally be hopeless. And that is a really shitty feeling. Not everything can seem possible. I mean come on… I have blown out 36 years worth of candles and my sister has never disappeared, when I cross my heart I don’t really expect to die, and no matter how much desperate hope I hold out…no one’s pants have caught on fire. I mean...sure...I know better...... |
War Chest Wednesday! Do you believe the end of the world will come to pass during your lifetime? No. Not really. Though I cannot deny the fatalistic pull it has over me. I would love to be an apocalyptic survivor. And you can believe me when I say you would want me around. It’s not because I’m smart ( though I am), and it’s not because I am resourceful (though I am), and it isn’t even because I’m scrappy (though I am – quite spry as well). It would be because I am ruthless. In any aspect of anything I am ruthless. People can say that about themselves…that they would be ruthless…only some are telling the truth. I can promise you on everything you and I each hold dear, that I am telling the truth. I would be ruthless because, shamefully, it really gets me going. It makes me happy. It excites me. It calls to me with its sweet siren song of bloodlust. And if we didn’t make it…we’d be blissful in Valhalla because I would earn my warrior’s death. I suppose one of five things could conceivably happen in my lifetime. We could be struck with something from space. In an epic movie moment in history we can try, yet fail, to stop the impending doom. Bruce Willis might be convinced to make an ultimate sacrifice. We could be invaded by aliens. Malicious gray men who are so advanced due to NOT being held back by antiquated views of morality and group acceptance. Aliens who bring with them methods of destruction so foreign to us we can do nothing but stand in awe as our fate is dealt. There could be some awful weather/earthy thing that goes down. We could have freakazoid volcanic eruptions. Earthquakes could be secretly plotting together right now…drawing their fault lines in the sand, shaking with anger. We could all be subjected to government testing of a disease or the target of biowarfare. Implications being limitless. And my personal favorite….though not in the five because while fun, maybe not the end of the world…Caesar and his army (of apes not Romans). |
Day 8 Prompt: Talk Tuesday! I think today we can all use a healthy dose of good news. Share with us a feel-good story...it can be anything from a random act of kindness that happened to you recently, to something that you heard about in your community. Anything you'd like to share to spread a little positivity. Talk about speaking to my weakness. Something good. Something happy. Boo. No, I of course like good and happy news just as much as the next guy, it just isn’t something to which I seem to direct a ton of my focus. So…my example can’t come from my own life. I don’t want to do that whole focus on the good bullshit, not right now. All it does it to call to the forefront how little of that there is compared to the shitty. So I take to the web like a world weary traveler… First under the category of “Good News” on Huff Post (which I went to due simply to the fact that things are divided into unconventional categories) I see an article entitled; “Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson Saves Puppy From Drowning.” What the fuck? How can we stand ourselves when this is good news? Yes, puppies being alive rather than dead is always good news but newsworthy good news? Nah. And yeah, The Rock has moments where he can be appealing (see: when he doesn’t look nasty and disgusting having turned himself into a disproportionate boulder.) but even in those moments, it isn’t newsworthy good news. Not even the two combined, really. Paul McCartney and Fergie are part of a recording of a ‘love song to the earth’. To this I simply say; HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. Changing sites. Uhhh…side note into darkness…the sign outside of Kim Davis’ release that equated the US Supreme Court to America’s ISIS….are you fucking kidding me? Listen up religious nutballs, and we are coming to the point where I am categorizing all of you as nutballs, you are screaming, SCREAMING (incoherently I might add) about wanting freedom. Shhh..shut the fuck up, yes you are. You want the freedom to worship the god you choose in the way you choose to the level deemed acceptable by the parameters you choose. JESUS GAVE HIS ULTIMATE MOTHERFUCKING FREEDOM FOR OTHER PEOPLE…FOR ALL PEOPLE. HIS ULTIMATE FUCKING LIBERTY. Yours simply cannot come at the EXPENSE of other people and their liberties…JUST SO YOU CAN GET RIGHT WITH GOD. It is far far far from our responsibility to aid you in your bogus journey. It would be nice if Jesus WAS walking among you so he could look down upon you and your judgmental hubris in the same manner you believe he wishes you to do to others. Bring on the rapture motherfuckers because you have seats next to me. “We don’t need the Supreme Court, we have the Supreme Being”…joke right?!?! You have to be joking. Please please tell me this person was joking. They don’t need the Supreme Court BECAUSE they have god?? WHAT? Fucking christ people are stupid. Back to the good news… There is an article about D’Angelo giving an interview about how objectified he felt after his nudey video. So now, while this in itself isn’t good news because it is never a good thing to sexually objectify anyone, the fabulous news is that the article included the video, which is nevah evah a bad thing to watch. Let’s talk about him licking his lips. Let’s talk about me licking his…everything. [Embed For Use By Upgraded+] Doctor Who starts soon and that is good news. It’s good news that Jon Hamm broke up with his long-time girlfriend. I mean shit…he has been telling me he was going to leave her forever. There is this: http://www.cnn.com/videos/us/2015/09/08/beachgoers-try-to-rescue-great-white-sha... When was the last time people spontaneously banded together to do anything good? Not often enough, that’s for sure. This reminds me of that movie….with Drew Barrymore…shit now I have to go look…Big Miracle. It’s always such a feel good moment when people risk things to save an animal. Good god, that is quite enough good for one day. |
Day 7 Prompt: Music Monday! Are you the lead singer type, or are you more content playing in the background along with the rest of the band? This prompt is reminiscent of the one that we did about are you a leader or a follower in…..I don’t know…July? June? Who can remember past….today? Past….now? I remember answering that one that I was neither. That I like to pretend I am in the background while manipulating things to go my way. I guess I still feel that way. If we are being literal…in a band I would be useless as anything. I could play a little flute. Well, not a flute that is small in size, but my skills are limited. I could be the lead singer. No one would want that, but hey…take one for the team and all. My mom used to tell me that she and I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. Nothing in my life has ever been filled with more simple truth. There are no “ifs” or “maybes”, or even any “in certain situations”. If we are not being literal…in life I like what I want. Different situations call for different skeasons. Sometimes skeason is a leader…a visible leader. This skeason doesn’t have time to fuck with anyone. She isn’t wasting energy, resources, or anything else on the effort to show anyone what needs done or how to do it. This skeason isn’t so much a leader as she is “the doer”. Sometimes skeason is a follower. She doesn’t give a shit about the outcome or the way it may reflect on her. She will let others take the reins and she will just pull her weight. Sometimes skeason is a leader…an invisible leader. She manipulates anything she can…emotions, behaviors, interactions. As long as the outcome is both what she wants and reflects on her the way she wants. She can do this nicely or in full bitch mode, but this skeason doesn’t care what you think of her methods or her attitude, the end result speaks for itself. Just like everyone I guess. Awe…we all have parts in the band of life.  |
The Sunday News! This week, a county clerk in Kentucky was jailed for not issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. Because her position is that of an elected official, she can't be fired from her job. She believes that same-sex marriage is against her religion. What do you think? Should she be required to issue these licenses? Can she legally be held accountable for this? So I am writing away on the fifth…inserting all those lovely little emoticons. The time was about 11 pm and I was trying so hard to get it done before midnight. Then I go to my email to get the wording of the prompt and accidentally click on the next day’s prompt. Something I NEVER do because it fucks with me. But I did…Oh but I did. And what did I see? That the prompt for the following day was about what I had just written. I knew not to look. I knew. I should have just posted it. And then written again on the same topic. But nooooooo. I couldn’t do it. And in the meantime life has fucked me hard and now I am late. Like three days late of course. Gotta play catch up and often I find that my shit seriously lacks in…substance when I have to do that. Oh well. One step forward, two steps back. Sooooo…this lady. This lady who wants to impose her religion on us. She rocks. She is so awesome, how could God NOT love the shit out of her? I have huge long drawn out opinions on this lady. On this topic. On the fact that she wants to impose religious law. On the fact that she desperately needs drop kicked. But in reality one thing matters more than my original four paragraphs of personal opinion. DO YOUR JOB. Do your fucking job. If your religion prevents you from doing your job then you have a decision to make. In this case, you must choose between God and Uncle Sam. If your faith is strong enough to hold you in contempt of court then THIS IS NOT THE JOB FOR YOU. The details of her position are not hidden from her. The responsibilities she owes simply by holding this position are clear. They are not up for interpretation; they are not up for her revision. I don’t get to speed because God has got my back… high schoolers don’t get to skip finals because they are tested enough by God already…. The logistics of every societal role is laid out pretty clear. Now since I am me, I have to insert my personal opinion as well…. Stomping your feet and demanding attention you do not deserve is childish and makes you look like one of the backwater hicks everyone mistakenly associates with your state. Your inability to accept the changes within your chosen career speak clearly to the static state of your mental muscles as well. Defiance is not an agent of change. It is simply a behavior that by definition is stubborn and planted. I admire people who stand firm in what they believe; I too am one of those people. It is not easy nor is it always called for, but it is always necessary. Good for you that you can stand in front of America and spout your devolved bullshit based on an imaginary security blanket. Good for you that you are willing to go to jail to defend these beliefs. To feel like love is a worthy subject of protest. Whenever you think about what you want to change in this world, what other people do with their cock being forefront on your mind is a true testament to the Lord. I think a much more effective show of the strength of your unshakeable faith would have been to resign your position. You know…like it is an issue that YOU disagree with, that YOU don’t want to take part in, that YOU think God will strike you down for. YOU. Or, I don’t know, maybe I missed that part in the bible that says….and so ye shall stand before men that layeth with men and ye shall place my judgment unto them, for you are my chosen vessel of justice Kim. |
Day 5 Prompt:Creation Saturday! I'm gonna make this easy on you today...write whatever you'd like! But...each sentence must contain at least one emoticon (and after this week you've got so many more to choose from). I won't put a minimum line count on this...it's harder than it looks. We went to Disney’s Frozen on Ice with my mom  and sister  . It is a yearly thing – we go to every Disney on Ice show every January… just the girls  . Now we have Kid B and my sister is pregnant so that will be Spawn A.  (Maybe – it is a label in progress.) And this time, it was in September because it was the second  one for the year. Frozen  , it’s special if you hadn’t heard. My mom is terrified of heights  . Terrified  . She loves  to attend these things with Kid A but they are all in stadiums and field houses. 6” stairs upon 6” stairs upon 6” stairs on steep  , steep inclines. She becomes spastic  and it takes us forever, and I mean forever, to get to our seats. Therefore, she pays  for the tickets and we get floor seating. Personally, Kid A and I think the seats are awful  , the experience is much better from about halfway up, but when she spends $200 a ticket and we are getting sprayed with ice from their skates  ….we just keep that opinion between us  . Kid B was in heaven  , this being her first one. She mirrored all their body motions, though being in my lap she resembled a ballerina  more than a skater. Kid A loves them no matter what, though sometimes she just likes the souvenirs  . And my sister ruined it all  . To her…pregnancy is like a handicap  apparently. She needs…needs….needs  . Her life isn’t going on  no matter what; it has come to a standstill. She is not bringing our lives to a standstill or anything; it is just annoying  as hell. I spent the last ninety minutes of the whole thing, including the ride home  , not being spoken to or acknowledged even when I directly questioned them   . It was simultaneously infuriating and fucking glorious  . On the plus  side...I have never experienced anything as sweet as an entire stadium of little people singing  Let it Go.   It would melt  a mamma's heart. Man. Next up – the circus  in December. We do that just us though, so it will be fun  . Then The Polar Express in December  as well, which we do ALL together – making it more like an express train  to hell  . Uhhhhhhhhhh….hello???? How did I not ever see  this  before? I feel cheated out of so much time  with the Tardis. ALSO - it just occurs to me that maybe I was supposed to use the emoticon in place of a word, not to enhance the sentence. Oh well. |
Day 4 Prompt: Fun Fact Friday! On this day in 1888, George Eastman registered the name "Kodak" and patented his roll-film camera. The camera took 100 exposures per roll. Are you the designated picture-taker in your family? How have the technological advances in digital photography changed the way you look at taking pictures? Oooh. I don’t think I like this prompt. I wanna give it some pouty answer; of course I am the picture taker…so no I am not in any. But…I just told Kid A about doing stuff you don’t want to. Yes, I am the picture taker. Husband A will carry the camera and “be the picture taker” but he sure as shit doesn’t get many pictures. I do hate it. I don’t want to be looking at everything through my camera. I recently downgraded back to a point and shoot so I didn’t have to lug some huge fucking thing around on top of all the other shit I have to carry. It was more of a pain in the ass than it was a nice way to take exceptional images of my family. There hasn’t really been a picture of me since I was about 15 or so. There are pictures of my hand blocking my face. There are a few pictures (spanning a few years) of me with my tongue out…clearly under something’s influence. And there are pictures of my wedding, at the courthouse no less. So, I don’t really care about not being in any pictures. I have appeared in more pictures since Kid A’s birth than I have in the rest of my life, and only because she asks. As far as I am concerned, the technological advances are great. Or not. Whatever. In the end you have a picture, whether you have to put on a new flash or insert a memory card. There are really only three choices; you suck at taking pictures, you are good at taking pictures, or your camera is your bitch. If you call your Nikon Niki then you can take a good picture with one of those cameras that you wind between each shot. The advances that matter are in editing and that isn’t quite the same as photography. Yeah the verdict is in, I don’t like this prompt. Maybe I don’t like any prompt that I am given on a Friday. Here is a mental picture I will have forever: Kid A saying to me while doing her spelling homework, “Pussies like dick.” Then because I was under the influence of an evil fairy, I fucking laughed. I stopped as soon as I could, but…cooooome oooon. Pussies do like dick. However that is just how I heard it. What she really said was, “Pussy’s like dick.” Small small small distinction. However, she was only commenting to me on the linguistics of the shit. In both cases there is a usage which is a crude reference to a body part as well as a usage which is meant to insult someone, make them feel less. (Wow. A hardcore mom would make the lesson into the fact that we should not be using our body parts as insults because our body parts are nothing to feel shameful about nor anything we have to consider a lesser part of us. This mom says maybe later, after all I just fucking laughed at pussies like dick.) That’s all she meant. Oh well, adulting is hard. |
Day 3 Prompt: The Wildcard Round! In honor of WDC's 15th birthday, today's winner gets a Birthday MB...best entry (in my opinion) wins! What do you remember about being 15? Share with us the awkward, hilarious moments. Fuck. Fifteen was really shitty time period for me. It was that moment in between; oh you are a depressed child….and….ohhhhhhhhh that’s what’s wrong with you. It was right before I started smoking cigarettes, pot, and unfortunately not too long before my crack head days. I was just about to have a boyfriend who would lead to the utter annihilation of life as I knew it. Soooooo…..what else was going down the year I was fifteen?? Friends premiered on television, I don’t remember caring at the time and actually still don’t care that much though I can admit to having seen every single episode at least twenty times each due to it being on at all times. Princess Di and Prince Charles were heading down to Splitsville, good ole Charlie copping to a little cop of Camilla. I had my first kiss in L.S. Ayres at the mall with a boy named Bobby Chae. I later learned I had used too much tongue. The original Playstation came out – much to this video game junkie’s delight. A new system is always fun. Kurt Cobain committed suicide and I didn’t fall to pieces. Nirvana sucks. They sucked when I was fifteen. This was the end of it all for a lot of people; I was more upset to have to power through a fucking Smells Like Teen Spirit revival. Pulp Fiction, Speed, Shawshank, The Lion King, and Forrest Gump. I worked at McDonalds for fun, much to my parents’ dismay. Gas was about $1.09, though I can remember paying $0.89 a gallon at times the following year. Tonya Harding made Nancy Kerrigan ugly cry on television. Nelson Mandela became president of South Africa after showing the world an example of forgiveness most cannot conceive of. The older boy whose locker was next to mine started calling me a cow (I have had two “larger” periods) every single time we were at the locker, and in a moment of high school definition I told him to moooove lockers then. The first genetically engineered tomatoes became available….wonder if they were labeled and if not were people in a self-created uproar? OJ SIMPSON RAN FROM THE POLICE!!!! Gonna probably call this one my favorite moment. There was no MLB. Wildfires and Whitewater. Lisa Marie and Michael Jackson hatch a plan to merge my two favorite musical families. The results were less than satisfactory. I went to a Boys II Men concert and experienced my first…quiet musicians/singing stadium effect. AbFab was popular and if you don’t know what that is…well… I feel sorry for you. My birthday was on a Wednesday and I am sure it sucked, as they tend to do. Bill Clinton begins his perceived reign of blow job terror and purges interns that wouldn’t fit under the desk. The IRA declares a cease fire while the United States sent troops to the Persian Gulf. My best friend revealed powerful protective emotions in me that manifested themselves as the Pro-Lesbian Activist at Bible Belt High. There was a lizard as Speaker of the House. My driver’s ed teacher was my mother’s former high school history teacher and after telling me he didn’t like her, he treated me like shit. Richard Nixon, John Candy, and Jackie O died. Lots of good stuff happened…just not to me. |
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