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Rated: XGC · Book · Emotional · #2015720
Life is rough...I have to write it out.
I start blogs.....I neglect blogs....I abandon blogs.
I start blogs.....I neglect blogs....I abandon blogs.

I started this blog....I loved this blog....I abandoned this blog.
I started this blog....I loved this blog....I abandoned this blog.

I guess it is a good thing I didn't actually hold my breath.
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March 21, 2016 at 9:01pm
March 21, 2016 at 9:01pm
#877070


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30-Day Blogging Challenge  (13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - See you in November for another Official Round!
#1786069 by Fivesixer


Day 16
War Chest Wednesday! From a previous challenger...

Write a myth that explains why clouds have shapes (and/or how they get them).


Fuck I hated this prompt the last time. I hated it so much. I wrote some shit about bunnies and their tails being ripped off I think.

Shit. Let’s see. I used to hate Funny Friday. Now I hate cloud origin myths.

Maybe it is because the gods are just like me and the big crybabies leave their tissues everywhere.

Maybe the great scribe of the universe keeps messing up and throwing his wads of paper to the ground around him.

Maybe I hate this prompt so much I will just find what I said last time:
Once upon a time there was an evil little troll. His skin was a brightened shade of orange and his hair had turned wild and green with age, but he had some fucking killer eyesight. He could spot the innocent little bunnies that lived in the hills around his dirt pile from a mile away. He hated them. They were always jumping around and some of them tried to eat his goddamn hair. Eat his hair!!

The troll decided to take action and he started standing by his dirt pile, perfectly still, and when one would try to nibble his hair he would snatch the bunny and rip off its tail. Laughing he would launch it into the sky to forever remind the sad bunnies to stay away.

March 21, 2016 at 8:43pm
March 21, 2016 at 8:43pm
#877068

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30-Day Blogging Challenge  (13+)
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#1786069 by Fivesixer


Day 15
Talk Tuesday!

The United States is one of the few countries around the world that doesn't offer paid maternity leave (here's a HuffPo article about that). What's your opinion? Tough it out and be thankful you have a job and a family; demand better services for new mothers, babies, and their families; or somewhere in-between?


Well, hmm. This feels like an eggshell field where feminists are sniping me out. And that’s okay. My body is riddled with shrapnel and begging for more. I am always down to go toe to toe with someone over something, yet, feminists can really piss me the fuck off. And surprisingly, I am not feeling uber-pissed off today. So far.

Sooooooo. I have two children. I had a job clear up to delivery with Kid A, and only for about two months with Kid B. I got 8 weeks unpaid maternity leave the first time. I never went back…to that job. I have been a working pregnant lady and a non-working pregnant lady. I have been a working mom and a stay at home mom. No opinion I have is hearsay or garnered from internet information…they are all founded in the actual hatred it takes to live my life.

Bringing children into this world is, indeed, a fundamental imperative of survival. The act of a dick cumming in our pussy does not, in any way, make us a shining vessel of life. What we are doing is not spreading our legs to let forth the essence of the future and though it is fucking hard as hell, we do not deserve anything more than we normally do.

It is emotional as fuck to leave your baby. It takes any girly parts you have left intact and shreds them into goddamn uterus tears. But we are not deserving of PAY to stay at home with our child. Sorry but we aren’t.

Now, having said all of that (and believing it), I will say that the above opinion does not speak in any way to the fact that it could not be any more difficult logistically to return to work with a newborn. Areas to breast feed, along with time allowed for it. Daycare. Less idiotic archaic notions of my pussy being in some awful state of injured control over my mind…because trust me, when my pussy is in control, things are going IN it not coming the fuck out, damn.

March 21, 2016 at 8:40pm
March 21, 2016 at 8:40pm
#877067


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#1786069 by Fivesixer


Day 14
Motivational Monday!

Albert Einstein, born in Germany on this day in 1879, once said, "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe." Do you agree or disagree with him, and why?


Well of course I agree with him. Would I be me if I didn’t?

I am sick to death of people’s stupidity. Their SELF-IMPOSED stupidity. Their comfort in their stupidity. Their desire to keep others wallowing in the same pit of stupidity they are.

We have all the information right at our fingertips. All. The. Information. Yet people want to insist that what they already know is all there is to know. That what they know to be right based on limited facts is all that is right. They refuse to educate themselves before they run their mouths. And then refuse to acknowledge that what they ran their mouth about might not be immutable.

It infuriates me. And right now is the perfect time to highlight this stupidity. The political climate of society right now is based on stupidity. It is built upon and continuing to grow upon the assumption that we are stupid and we are happy that way. And instead of educating ourselves on what our beliefs currently mean, we paint signs with grammatical errors. We get on Facebook and share memes with misquoted lines meant to prop up an antiquated and false idea. We seal ourselves in bubbles filled with other people whose heads are filled with the same meaningless air as ours and keep out everyone else.

I truly just want people to shut the fuck up and realize that their intelligence is just as fallible as their stupidity. Neither is set in stone, but both stay where you keep them.

And it is even small shit. The World's Smartest Girl, (I know I disappeared...but who could forget her?) recently asked me this:
WSG: "This week's spelling hint says 'final syllable -le'.
Me: "ohhhhhhhhhhhkay."
WSG: "What the fuck is 'final syllable'?? Could these hints be any harder?"

What?! Come on! This is a 26 year old girl. And what makes me so pissy about it is that it hasn't even occurred to her that she SHOULD know this. "Now, skeason. How is she to know this is information she should know?" And the answer is easy. The spelling hint is for her seven year old. Her first grader. Yes. She should know what the fuck syllables are. This is what we raise now. 26 year olds that are literally stupid and so arrogant they assume that the material is too difficult.

Ugh. Spelling hint for this week: forms of the word homicide.
March 19, 2016 at 9:50pm
March 19, 2016 at 9:50pm
#876925
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#1786069 by Fivesixer

Day 13
The Sunday News!

This week, the trailer for the new Ghostbusters reboot was launched...and along with it came concerns of racism and sexism. My biggest question is this: Are we just looking for reasons to be offended in everything nowadays? Or is this new Politically Correct culture a byproduct of a 24-hr. news cycle, combined with the internet and social media being in our faces constantly? Is being aware of everyone's opinions on everything somehow indirectly shaping our own?


I don’t necessarily think people are looking to be offended. I think they are too sensitive. I think we belong to a society of little babies who are just selfish enough to think that all the opinion anyone needs is one that agrees with their own. Arrogance on levels not seen before. Yet it is streaked with such falsity that we haven’t even been able to recognize it for what it is.

You are not that important. I am not that important. What you think and what you believe, what offends you and what you wish would go away….not that important.

I am very offensive. Nothing I ever say is pointed enough for it to personally offend anyone. If someone’s general views on the universe offend you then…well… dry your tears and wipe your pussy because it is not that important. Not what I said nor what someone thought about it.
March 19, 2016 at 9:46pm
March 19, 2016 at 9:46pm
#876923

FORUM
30-Day Blogging Challenge  (13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - See you in November for another Official Round!
#1786069 by Fivesixer

Day 12
Creation Saturday!

Your blog is going to be adapted into a movie or musical. Who would play the main characters, what would the plot consist of (would you base it around a specific entry, or a general theme), and what would the theme song be?


Damn.

All I do is bitch right? What the fuck would that musical consist of? And it would of course be a musical because a lot of my entries have been songs. I like to rewrite songs with a hateful self deprecating twist. Sing loud the soundtrack of my life and shit.

Clearly the musical has its blurry foundations in this entry: "Invalid Entry

And that is because my life does too.

Yet, the actual content of the musical would go a little but like this: "Invalid Entry

And that is because my daily life is that exact mixture of anger and the type of luck that built Vegas.

I don’t know what the theme song would be. Something funereal and depressing because my misery is a bitch and she loves company.
Either that or, because I have made it clear that ideal skeason would be the sluttiest slut you ever did see, maybe this:

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

And that has even made an appearance in this blog before. Leave it to Too Short to tie it all together.

What did I just describe here? A musical about a slut that gets high and bitches? I daresay that’s about right.
March 19, 2016 at 9:34pm
March 19, 2016 at 9:34pm
#876922
Whoa. I was sick. Dying, perhaps. I had strep and influenza A. So that was fun. I dehydrated. I didn’t function for days and days. Which isn’t easy when you are alone with a two year old. I do love fever sleeping though. It isn’t restful, it isn’t restorative and healing, but it is….deep and haunting. It fucking rocks.

And, as I just now rejoin the land of the living…


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#1786069 by Fivesixer

Day 11
Fun Fact Friday!

In 1909, the first gold medal to a perfect-score bowler was awarded to A.C. Jellison by the American Bowling Congress. Are you good at any particular sport? Care to share a memory of your own with us? Or are you pretty not great at sports, and have a funny story about that?



….I guess I will do it with a bang….because my answer to this prompt is…nope.

I am an anti-athlete.

I am not incapable. I am not out on the field like a dumb fuck, but….I’m not out on the field.

I have done my share. I did the obligatory small town softball stint. I was on the track team in middle school. There you go. That’s the extent of my athletic history. I didn’t even play the senior powder puff game because, well, I had others things I wanted to do.

The closest I can relate to this prompt is to say that I can bowl.
March 10, 2016 at 9:26pm
March 10, 2016 at 9:26pm
#876245


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#1786069 by Fivesixer



The Wildcard Round! This week's winner will receive a Political Merit Badge (and I'm still working on last week's entries...I will most likely announce that winner tomorrow, and hopefully I'll have January's judging tied up by the time the weekend's over).

Complete the sentence and explain your position: "________ will be the end of society as we know it."


Politics
Every color, style, flavor… solitary drop of gravy.
Nickelback
Gospel inspired moralization
Uninformed children
Implied inequality
New motherfucking math
Spiders
________ will be the end of society as we know it."

Unless you are rolling apocalypse style and then please god let it be aliens or zombies or dinosaurs or some shit where I get to fight people.
March 9, 2016 at 8:43pm
March 9, 2016 at 8:43pm
#876175


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#1786069 by Fivesixer


War Chest Wednesday! A prompt from a previous challenger...

Do you believe in reincarnation


Reincarnation. Yes, I suppose I do. Do I believe you can discover past lives through remembering repressed genetic memories? Nope.

I guess I kind of feel like we are all reincarnated. That like….storylines for example….there are a finite amount. They just get recycled with small tweaks. You are not a brand new soul – don’t be so arrogant. You had another life, in which you suffered and you rejoiced and you were loved and you were cruel. Your previous lives went just as this life is going. And when this one ends you will begin another one in which you learn all the same lessons again, with those slight tweaks.

Also…..I can only hope that the universe doesn’t follow the line of thought that you are reincarnated as something based on your previous life’s performance. I am a dick. A big giant dick. That can’t be good for the future me.

Though, if I had a choice….

This is probably where you think….she is going to say penguin and fill this with more penguin bullshit that she said she could take no more of. She is going to fill it with penguins because Fivesixer can’t get enough penguins…he doesn’t even have to tell her, she just knows.

And NO! I am not going to say some predictable shit about being reincarnated as a penguin and wearing my tux as I slut it up. Oh hell no. I just told you I was a dick.

If I had my choice I would be reincarnated as a leopard seal. And I would snipe and stalk those fucking penguins, jump on them and rip their little heads off. Just annihilate them so they cannot do any more bullshit to write elementary level books about. No more jokes. No more facts. No more spelling lists. Just bloody icebergs waiting to sink some ships.
March 8, 2016 at 11:17pm
March 8, 2016 at 11:17pm
#876122
Kid A and I went to the ballet tonight. Shen Yun. Have you heard of that? It was interesting. The backdrop changed to photos of China and coordinated with whatever story they were telling. The costumes were fucking unbelievably beautiful. And I will be damned if those bitches can't throw some handkerchiefs. HOWEVER...there was a very strange anti-Atheism and anti-evolution message repeated quite a few times. Very very strange.

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Now Kid A (who...trust me!....doesn't need any more issues to take a stand on....she's pretty flush with issues right now) is completely up in arms that this show cannot be performed in China. That they cannot freely meditate. That they cannot just....dance. Fuck if you ask her, we just spent three hours in Elmore City.

Also - I feel slightly cheated now that I watched this Shen Yun commercial. It looks better than the one that just came to our city. Not that it was bad. It wasn't. But still.


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#1786069 by Fivesixer



Talk Tuesday! Ok, I'm recycling an old prompt. I try not to do it very often, but I couldn't resist.

March 7th was National Cereal Day. What are your top three favorite breakfast cereals


Easy as pie (a food I would have much more trouble ranking.)

1. Smurfberries
2. Frankenberry
3. Raisin Bran

Alas.....Smurfberries is no more.
So a more current list would look more like:

1. Crunch Berries
2. Frankenberry
3. Raisin Bran

Just nothing chocolate. I hate chocolate cereal and I despise the way it changes the milk to a dirty chocolate. Gross. And don't drink the milk after. Also gross. I am not a fan of things floating in my milk. (When my sister was little we had this table that was four sections of glass. She had to sit at the one that was geographically furthest from me... all because her nasty little ass always had shit floating in her glass of milk. She STILL brings it up, as if it scarred her for life. But every damn time she does, I am disgusted all over again, as if it scarred me for life.)

Oh yeah....

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

March 7, 2016 at 9:48pm
March 7, 2016 at 9:48pm
#876037

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#1786069 by Fivesixer


New category this month! Motivation Mondays! It'll basically just be your thoughts on a random quote.

Bret Easton Ellis, an American author born on this day in 1964, once said "I feel like I'm not smart enough to answer the questions I'm asked." Your thoughts?


Here are my honest thoughts on this quote: I don’t like it. It doesn’t make me think many thoughts at all. Nobody feels smart enough for shit. Nobody knows the answers to all the questions they are asked.

Here is what I actually think about this quote. It could have come out of the mouth of any parent anywhere. The question might be simple, “what does that mean?” or “what shape is that?” Or the questions could be philosophical, “why is the sky blue?” But after one hundred times of saying “triangle” you begin to wonder what the fuck shape that piece of shit actually is. No I don’t have a goddamn clue what 1 + 1 is but I think I could probably calculate the force and velocity it takes to put one triangleish thing through one wall.

Do you know who would never feel like they were not smart enough to answer the questions they are asked? Penguins! They are extremely intelligent. They jump into boats when in danger; they have facial recognition, as well as recognize their own names, and commute to the fish market.

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Which leads to the VERY OBVIOUS first question you’d ever ask a penguin….where did you get that backpack??

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