%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Blog Challenge And Other Tidbits |
| An opinion or two...or three or four... |
PROMPT January 27 Discuss a time in your life when someone has tried to "fix" or "solve" a problem for you - but you didn't see it as a problem in the first place. How do you generally handle unsolicited opinions/advice? I realize that people by their very nature want to help. So it seems perfectly normal when someone starts blathering on about something whether it's solicited or not. The problem is that they just blather. They don't stop to consider how their words will be received by the other person. I'm guilty of it. In fact, everyone is guilty of it. So I get it. I try to understand this crazy phenomenon. And I always hope that I'm sensitive to it and remember someone is only trying to help. I always hope that I don't blow my top. And I try REALLY hard not to blow my top. I'm not mean or cruel by nature but sometimes my temper can get the best of me. And I remember clearly a time when it got the best of me. A little background information is necessary to understand. My dad and I had the same birthday. June 10th. And that was always very special to me. My dad was always the one who got to pick our birthday activity, our birthday dinner, and our birthday cake. For me that was normal. I didn't really care. I just wanted to spend my birthday with my dad. And coming from a large family it was extra-special. I had a unique and deep connection to my dad. He passed away 14 years ago...on June 9th, the day BEFORE our birthday. For me it was devastating. And that particular birthday will always and forever be the "one that wasn't". Fast forward three years. My supposed friend invited me out for breakfast for my birthday. Not only was she late to the restaurant but she also complained that I couldn't find another day to have breakfast. Right away that got my ire up. And then when I ordered breakfast she had the gall to judge what I ordered. "Isn't that too many carbs?" she sneered. Yes, sneered. I should have left then, but I didn't. I wanted to be polite and I was hoping she didn't mean anything by it. You can imagine that our conversation was strained to say the least. And during that conversation she asked me how I was going to celebrate later on. I told her my husband was going to take me out to a special restaurant. And I also told her that things were still strange for me. I really didn't know how to celebrate my birthday. I felt a little lost. And I told her that I still missed my dad very, VERY much. A side note right here. I lost my father-in-law and my brother in August of that year. I also lost my mom in December of that year. And then I lost my dad the following June. So I'd lost a lot. And the grief was astronomical. Anyway, back to this supposed friend. She actually had the nerve to say to me, "It's been 3 years! Why are you still thinking about it? Just move on and make your own birthday. You don't need your dad." I was shocked and terribly hurt. And in that moment I threw my napkin at her and shouted, yes, I shouted, "When you have the same birthday as your parent it's almost like having a twin. AND I DON'T HAVE MINE!" Then I stood up and threw a twenty-dollar bill on the table. I picked up my purse and left. I didn't speak to her for another six months. Surprisingly we still spend time together. But for me it's very guarded and very short. I only see her once in a while. I try hard to forget what she said and the anger I felt. But it's not going away. And I don't expect it will ever go away. But the lesson for me is that people say dumb things. They hand out "advice" at exactly the wrong moment. In the end, people are just people. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
