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In Vino

by Veritas

Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #2140872

You will find Veritas

Because I usually am in Vino

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

In 2009, I gave up my studies as a medievalist and musician, left my home, my family, my life and moved to Provence in southern France for a guy. In 2012, I moved away from him to study wine.

Today, I'm a vagabond sommelier working in Paris at one of the oldest and most famous restaurants in the world, struggling to find some purpose to what I deem the rest of my life. I'm still married and after 8 10 years, I'm still trying to fit-in with French life and culture and to understand why the French are the way they are. Because they're weird in a different way that I think Americans are weird.

Perhaps it's me who's weird.

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Charlie ~

Nov 1, 2020 at 4:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Oh hey, my relationship is similar!

I think it's awesome that you're using that negative experience to get creative. It's hard not to just wallow when those things happen. I use a paper journal for most of my actual coping process too, but I do share bits and pieces on WDC as well.

Charlie ~

Oct 30, 2020 at 7:22pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I hope NaNo does the trick in distracting you at the very least and healing you at best. I was planning on participating, but I realized I can't concentrate on a single idea for more than an hour.

Might try a short story a day instead. Stay safe.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Oct 30, 2020 at 1:35pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Great that you are back.

Moved?

We are going into lockdown here in Missoula but most of the region between Washington and New York resents any suggestion that they should care about others so the numbers soar. Both France and the US have other critical issues as well.

I'm doing NaNo... in my own way. Already started.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Aug 20, 2020 at 3:28pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Yep, rant. If you were here ... I'd say be prepared to dust and clean. Our summers are that dry. Customers? Many Americans can be rowdy but appreciative after a 'drought'. The French? Place and people. One can guess ... and that's about it.

Wordsmitty ✍️

Aug 20, 2020 at 1:17pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've found myself in very similar situations and have tried the old "Give them enough rope and they'll ..." But as you note, many folks can't even figure out how to tie a knot! I know that's not really helpful, but at least you can see the situation and have the strength and courage to get through it. Rants are good for the soul.

Veritas

Jul 18, 2020 at 8:58am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Sometimes I wonder why I can't just let it go the way some people are able to. After all, I wasn't the first, I won't be the last and what happened was so clouded in alcohol that I can't even tell you concretely if I ever said "No" not that it matters anyway. I went along with it because I thought I was supposed to. Which makes it all worse I guess. I don't know. But I do wish I could just get over it and move on.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Jul 13, 2020 at 5:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

But you can come forward here. And that's a plus. Rant as much as you want.

I don't always share some traumas from my past as I don't want to relive them. Some are wrapped with layers of shame and blame I choose not to revisit. Some I've dealt with, found some peace, or just 'forgot'. Some I rant about.

We all heal in different ways. Expressing the rage is one theraputic way.

Much healthier than keeping it all in.

1 Like

Kåre เลียม Enga

Jun 16, 2020 at 6:13pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Yes... little community here at WDC.

I'm 'chatty' so I comment alot. Very little commenting in return. Much nicer back-in-the-day.

Yes, amateurs (which is fine, we all need to start somewhere) and those who are not interested in anyone outside their orbit. Very sad; but, I find a similar problem here in Montana ... folks don't reach out. Been here 12 long years. Had more interaction in Tulsa back-in-the-day. Maybe the culture has shifted as well. It's okay to sit behind a screen but not okay to hide behind one. Just my opinion.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Jun 14, 2020 at 1:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I remember odd snippets from KU. It was mostly a positive experience. High school or my first two years of university? A roller-coaster I got off and don't want to get back on. Yes, I should write about it but I'd rather do other things ... anything.

As for leaving WDC. Important to have everything backed up and anything important printed out. You could always just go 'basic' and that would allow you to peek in and comment when the urge hits you.

I barely keep in touch with anyone pre 2010. Sad. I could feel guilty but former friends aren't making much effort either. Nor are new ones. I feel very very isolated.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Jun 14, 2020 at 1:46pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I stay because I have nowhere else to go.

I've cut and run in my personal life ... mostly that didn't work out well.

When some writers here went to Open Salon they were very happy. But that closed and WDC is still here. Many drifted off to spacebook. They're still there, kinda... but that place is a mindfield.

I tried years ago to have better connections with local writers but I don't do 'groups' well and frankly ... they did not welcome me. But the group at the open group at the library persists ... if the library were open.

I'm thinking about moving back to the plains. Real people. Real relationships. Real boring.

I have to avoid drama in real life. Drama on-line is bad for me as well. My nerves can't take it.

But where to go?

March 23, 2020 at 5:58am

#978901

In which on the 7th day it started to be too much

Yesterday after reading the news and spending too much time thinking about it, I had my first, in what will probably be a series of anxiety attacks. While I was nervous, scared, and panicky before I arrived back at home, and a little panicky when I was having some asthma problems, it was nothing compared to the depression and despair I'm starting to feel now.

Am I afraid for myself? Of course I am. Up until a week ago, I was a heavy smoker, and while I could still run a 10K without a problem, I have no idea how damaged my lungs might already be. Besides the fact that perfectly healthy people are falling very ill. My husband went to the store to buy groceries today and now I'm afraid to go near him. So yes, I'm afraid for my own well being. And my husband's. What if someone coughed on him at the store. What if someone with the virus touched a box and then he touched the same box?

But I'm also afraid for the world. The economy - which I've never really cared about before, of course. Moreso for the state of mankind. When I look at the news and at social media, on one side I see people ignoring the virus, complaining about people ignoring confinement, the government saying they are going to enforce a stricter lockdown. Everyone pointing fingers. On the other side I see people complaining about the government, about the economy, about planning, about how this was inevitable but we did nothing to stop it or to plan ahead. I have a friend on Facebook who day after day writes long ranting posts against the government and humanity, railing and denouncing others for their behavior and lack of foresight and compassion. And he is right, there is a massive lack of that, but....

I don't see him offering any solutions. So he got muted. I can't listen to anymore ranting if you're not going to offer a solution. And that was just one friend. Another three are on the short list for mutes. In the long run, it might just be better to deactivate my account until this is all over.

And that's what brings me to despair. I don't see any solutions. I don't see any hope or advances being made. Just more lockdown. More panic. More statistics. More tragedies. And a world falling headlong deeper into the dark.

With the occasional "This too shall pass." or "It's always darkest before the dawn" meme. Which doesn't offer much hope either.

I can ...am ... able to cope...for the moment. I go about my day to occupy myself, I take time to breath, to reflect. I meditate and exercise and spend time with the cats. But how much longer? It's not necessarily the confinement or the lockdown that is having an effect on me. I like having the alone time. It's what I read about the world around me. It's too much. Nothing about this, about what is happening is surprising to me. This is humanity's natural reaction to crisis. But it's not my reaction. Mine has always been to stand to the side feeling powerless to help and weep (usually it's internal weeping).

I don't have a solution either.

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