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 |  Pearls of wisdom, inappropriate thoughts and the occasional rant. |
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| I had no idea my NaNoWriMo project would consume me. I didn't realize I'd pushed so many memories from my mind. I don't like talking about the bad things in my past. I've never found it necessary to bring up things I can't change. Instead of purposely putting myself through the pain again, I've stopped trying to make sense of things. But as I've gotten older, I feel the need to try to explain to my kids how events have shaped my life. My stroll down memory lane is exhausting yet strangely satisfying. I haven't opened a can of worms, I've released the Kraken. |
For some reason I thought this song was by Tracy Chapman  Nevertheless, I really like this song, but for some reason, when I hear it, I feel like I'm overcome with sadness for my daughter. It's strange, I've never looked at the actual lyrics and this was the first time I've seen the video, but it kinds of makes sense now. I can't tell you how many times I've looked at my sleeping Ravyn, wishing I could fix everything before she woke up. I used to wonder if she comprehended the bad things that we've had to endure. I mean, how could she, when I didn't? |
| I feel like a juggler whose balls burst into flames midair. Ball 1: I decided to participate in NaNoWriMo at the last minute, but I can't seem to stop editing. Ball 2: Since I completed my Comprehensive Taxation course with a 96 last month, I registered for Advanced Tax I, which started yesterday. Ball 3: Yesterday, I got a reminder in the mail from the IRS reminding me I need to get my CE courses done by the end of the year for the Annual Filing Season Program. And it can take four weeks to get my Record of Completion so I should start now. Ball 4: My mom, who lives 2 hours away, finally scheduled her knee surgery. For November 22cd. Ball 5: I saw my oncologist yesterday and my labwork was still wonky. I need to have iron infusions ASAP to see if replenishing my iron supply will make everything go back to normal or if there's something else going on too. I'm scheduled to have the infusions done in Paris (45 minutes away) on 11/9, 11/18, and 11/23. After my first one, I'm not supposed to drive until December 1st. Ball 6: Ravyn and I got seasonal jobs at UPS. Orientation is Friday. We're supposed to be delivering packages from my vehicle during the holiday season, starting Monday. She's excited because it's her first job and her pay is $15 an hour. Mine is $22, plus 62 cents a mile. Ball 7: Thanksgiving. Since my mom has no other family and will be recovering from knee surgery, I promised Ravyn & I will be there for the whole weekend. My husband's grandfather, who he hasn't seen in 15 years, is coming to town from Alabama, so I said I'll drive myself to my mom's house. I guess the real problem is I'll be letting down my mom and Ravyn. I know they'll both understand, but I feel like I'm constantly screwing up everyone's plans. Plus, I could have really used that money. I have an interview in two hours today with H&R Block, so I guess I'll call my mom and talk to Ravyn when I'm done. |
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but seems to be okay today. I worry about my poor circulation, scrub my toes with a soft bristle brush, watch discoloration come and go. I probably need new arteries or veins but hey... "Heathcare" USA (enough said?). I may be better off trying something here in Thailand. But still... wish I lived in a country that had adequate patient based healthcare. Thailand and Taiwan mostly do, but I can't access it. First world systems like Europe, Canada and Australia do, but again, I can't access it. 