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 |  Pearls of wisdom, inappropriate thoughts and the occasional rant. |
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Throughout my childhood, I was told that I had to finish what I started before moving on to something new. The result was me getting knocked out by a baseball I was meant to catch because I was reciting Poe to myself instead of paying attention to the game around me. After a few other mishaps, my parents relented and I was allowed to be a quitter. Of course, each time I gave something up, I was still lectured on how I was letting people down. Trust me, I'm sure my baseball coach would rather have had me leave the team rather than trying to motivate me to practice instead of learning inane facts about the history of the first All-American Girls Baseball League. As an adult, I give myself permission to move on once I've lost interest. It's freeing. For me though, the key is to remember that I can't do all the things all of the time. Clearly, trying to juggle six things at once only ends with me whacking myself in the head when I fail. Instead, I've decided to choose three or four things to focus on at once, in addition to the daily responsibilities of taking care of my family and home. This brings up another problem. I struggle with managing my time. You'd think this would be easy. It probably is simple for most people, but creating a work/life balance is intimidating for someone with no schedule at all. I don't have set times for a job outside of the house or actual classes to attend. My health issues often leave me tired and randomly napping. Now that I've scaled down my to-do list, I need to figure out when to do it. Routines do not come naturally to me, so finding one that works will be an interesting task in itself. Even though I don't want to admit it, in the end, it turns out that my mother is still right about a few things. Including that too much freedom can be a bad thing. |
The past few years have seen me struggle to define myself as more than a mother, wife, or daughter. While these are worthy roles, I selfishly yearn to be more than the caretaker that holds the threads of my family together. Growing up, I found myself constantly trying new sports and hobbies but dropping the endeavors as soon as my interest waned. Watching my friends choose a college major or otherwise start their lives knowing exactly what they were meant to accomplish brought about a sense of failure because I couldn't settle on one path. Now, however, I've made peace with myself and accepted that it's okay for me to be a jack of all trades yet master of none. It's this contentment that allowed me to fall down the rabbit hole of tax law. Now that the 2021 tax year has come to an end, I can say without a doubt that I'm doing the right thing by pursuing this new interest. I successfully participated in the IRS's Volunteer Income Tax Assistance and Tax Counseling for the Elderly programs. More importantly, I enjoyed it. Although I'm already qualified to prepare most federal income tax returns, I've decided to take it a step further and study to take the Enrolled Agent exam. My mother thinks this is another whim, which it may be, but does it really matter? In two years, I could be an Enrolled Agent for the IRS or just well versed in federal taxation. Even if my interest wanes, it enables me to help others, which is hardly a bad thing. It's true, I'm not a numbers person. I much prefer to surround myself with literary texts than mathematical manuals, but is there any harm in furthering my education? Perhaps, if nothing else, I'm showing Ravyn that it's okay to be unsure of your future. At 17, she doesn't have her life mapped out in minute detail. What she knows is that she'll graduate high school at the end of this year and wants to have a career involving animals. Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves to others? If we've learned anything since 2019, let it be that we can't count on life being wrapped up in a pretty package. The world changes. Knowing we have the ability to adapt and the determination to roll with the punches is one of the greatest lessons we can master. |
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but seems to be okay today. I worry about my poor circulation, scrub my toes with a soft bristle brush, watch discoloration come and go. I probably need new arteries or veins but hey... "Heathcare" USA (enough said?). I may be better off trying something here in Thailand. But still... wish I lived in a country that had adequate patient based healthcare. Thailand and Taiwan mostly do, but I can't access it. First world systems like Europe, Canada and Australia do, but again, I can't access it. 