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Mon, Oct 27, 2025

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by FivetricksterTreats

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

👀intu the Darkness

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Waltz in the Lonesome October

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

September 8, 2019 at 1:37am

#965806

Lead me not into temptation...

Artist: Troye Sivan
Song: Wild
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Prompt from Elle via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : What do you think makes a good leader? Share an example of a good leader from your life (or alternatively, a poor leader who taught you what not to do).

Business school requires me to love this prompt. It's in my contract.

I've learned all about business strategies, leadership styles, and team dynamics. One thing I’m certain of is that I am not a good leader. I’m not even a good team player. I’m too neurotic and finicky and emotional. I either go at something’ 100% or I don’t give a single fuck about it, and both are bad for leadership and team management. With the first, you’re too much of a control freak to delegate duties and share the workload. It requires trust that the people you’re leading are gonna go balls to the wall too, and I just can’t put that responsibility in someone else’s hands if I really care about what I’m doing. And, of course, if I don’t give a fuck about it that means I’m not even interested in talking about it or trying to work on it.

Even here on WDC, I’m a shitty group leader. I get easily overwhelmed and my moods are just finicky af. I’ll start working on stuff for my group and then I just totally lose the will to do anything. I do the same with group projects at school. It’s either me doing nearly 100% of the work, or me totally mentally checked out. Like I’ll do the bare minimum requirement for my part, and I’ll do it well, but I don’t care about the final result or what anyone else is doing.

That being said, I do have some good examples of leaders, both here on the site and in real life. I think some of our group leaders here are really good at what they do. I also think some of my professors are great at leading while teaching.

Here are some notable traits of good leaders, in my opinion:

They’re decisive.
They don’t go back and forth on what they want to do. They make a decision and they stick with it, regardless of vocal minorities who dislike the decisions. This is something I’m personally terrible at. I hear a couple negative thoughts and I immediately want to change everything because it’s “totally not working.” When in reality, it’s like 2 people who disagree and are just loud about it.

They work too.
The worst leaders are the ones who want to tell everyone else what to do while they just sit around doing nothing. There’s a difference between delegating and demanding. Leaders should work alongside the people they’re leading. In fact, they should be the hardest working of them all.

They motivate and inspire.
I think a good leader encourages you to have intrinsic motivation for the things you do. There is of course a common goal and rewards or payment along the way, but a really good leader can inspire people to move on their own for personal reasons. Whether it’s because they want the self-growth that knowledge provides or they want to explore new sides of their writing, people need longevity in their reasons for doing things. Leaders don’t rely solely on external rewards as a tool of motivation.

They’re empathetic.
Using fear to rule over people with an iron fist is a trademark of bad leaders. They don’t know how to connect with other humans on a personal level, but have found out that if they act like a total dick things will usually get done correctly. The best leaders I know are compassionate, empathetic people. You don’t have to worry about how they’re going to react when you have bad news for them. When you have a personal issue going on in life, they understand and want you to take care of yourself. This creates a loyal, productive follower.

They have humility.
Have you ever been led by someone who blames you when their ideas don’t pan out? For example, they want to try out a new, creative idea and you follow their lead. Then when it totally bombs it’s your fault because you didn’t implement it correctly/didn’t anticipate potential problems/didn’t fully understand their vision/didn’t tell them it was a bad idea? I think good leaders are willing to admit their faults and move on in a positive way.

I don't think I'll ever be a good leader because it's just not my personality type. I'm way too self-focused, and that's me being nice to myself instead of saying self-centered.

It takes all types though. I wish more people realized that they're not leaders. I feel like society puts such an emphasis on being a leader. We can't all be running around leading shit.

White noise in my mind
Won’t calm down
You’re all I think about

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