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Mon, Oct 27, 2025

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by FivetricksterTreats

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

👀intu the Darkness

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Waltz in the Lonesome October

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

May 12, 2019 at 1:11am

#958788

Dear nurturers...

Artist: Wolf Parade
Song: I'll Believe in Anything
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" :
Write your entry inspired by the word “nurture.” What does it mean to nurture something or someone? How were you nurtured growing up, how are you currently nurtured, and how do you nurture others?

Webster dictionary defines "nurture" as...

Just kidding.

When I think of a nurturing person, I think of a gardener. You know, taking care of something fragile (like a plant) so that it may grow and blossom. Nurturing is about supporting something (or someone) so that it may reach its full potential. Nurturing doesn't count debts or hold conditions. It isn't a "you rub my back, I'll rub yours" situation. When you nurture someone, you're taking on the responsibility of fostering another person's growth. That's why it's so incredibly important to make sure that you're ready for the commitment of raising a child before you have one.

Because that's what nurturing really is - commitment to the well-being of someone else.

Anyone who has read my blog, like, even a couple times knows that I was not very nurtured as a child. I don't have many good memories. I always knew I would have to confront the past someday. When I started speaking to my family again, I knew that history was going to catch up to us, even with how incredibly avoidant my family is, generally speaking.

I keep saying that I'm not ready for that. I'm not ready to confront things. I'm not ready to forgive. And, besides, no one is ready to apologize. But you don't always get to decide these things. To quote Bret Easton Ellis:
“But this was what happened when you didn't want to visit and confront the past: the past starts visiting and confronting you.”

Within the last couple years, the past has been visiting and confronting me. All the ways I've been seeking nurturing, subtle or obvious, have started coming together. Gears are turning, things are clicking. I think I tried not to think about what certain relationships might represent. I tried to not see correlation or causation between anything.

In hindsight, it's common sense. Being with people who are my parents' age, allowing myself to be controlled, being under someone else's thumb... It spells out one thing for me: structure

It's stable. It's flattering. Someone wants to spend their time taking care of you. Someone wants to spend their money spoiling you. Someone wants to nurture you.

I've seen it in all of my relationships, all my friendships. I attract people who will take care of me. People who will be patient and sympathetic. There's something so comforting about someone who thinks they know what's best for you. When someone is willing to lay out a plan for you and tell you what to do. When they're willing to follow up on that and push you to reach your potential, it fills me with warmth.

And both good people and bad people can pick up on that. They can sense that need to be coddled.

There is nothing that feels closer to nurturing than protection. I will melt in the hands of any person that deems me valuable enough to protect.

The reason so many of my friendships are toxic is because of this though. I attract people who are willing to sacrifice a lot of time, money, and effort to protect me. Mostly from myself. And when I can't return the affection and nurturing they give to me, they feel wronged. They feel like I've used them to get something I need and then tossed them aside.

It's not all bad though.

In fact, I refuse to believe it's even mostly bad. I've met so many people right here on this site that have nurtured me through the years in a healthy, safe way. There have been so many people who have kept my spirits up when I couldn't do that for myself. People have emotionally supported and stabilized me as needed without the expectation of return on investment. They've pointed out the good in me, even when I couldn't see it. They've supported my endeavors as long as my endeavors were aiding my growth.

That's the good kind of nurturing, right?

The problem is that I mix up the good kind of nurturing and the bad kind of nurturing. I blur a lot of lines. I don't set any boundaries. And I rarely speak up, even when I know that something is unhealthy.

I do it willingly because those brief moments of warmth that spread through me when I'm being cared for outweigh the pain and confusion of every other moment.

You can't ever fill such a deep void, but you can keep pouring gasoline on a fire to maintain a flicker of warmth.

To those of you who have willingly sacrificed your resources and capabilities to nurture the growth of someone who depended on you fully, I commend you. The level of dedication that takes is terrifying to me. You can completely shape someone's future by nurturing their potential, and I have the maddest respect for any of you who have chosen to give that gift to another person.

Happy Mother's Day to all of our nurturing WDC moms!

Give me your eyes
I need sunshine

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