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Mon, Oct 27, 2025

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by FivetricksterTreats

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

👀intu the Darkness

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Waltz in the Lonesome October

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

May 18, 2019 at 4:12pm

#959205

Burnout, Burnout, Burnout

Artist: The Strokes
Song: Heart in a Cage
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" :
Write a poem or stream of consciousness entry about something you do every day.

Most of my mornings start with some version of "I can't." I can't balance this spreadsheet and study for this exam and grade these papers and work. I can't do everything that needs to be done today. It takes anywhere from .5 seconds to 5 hours for me to move passed this part of the day. Some days are more difficult than others.

I've been in a funk for the past week or so. I was feeling so productive before that, handling all my work and writing and all that. Now, not so much. Realistically, when I wake up each morning, I have about 10-12 hours of work to do that day between jobs and school. And then I have my WDC responsibilities and commitments which are around 2 hours a day, I'd say. It seems excessive to me because I only have one group here and I only commit myself to one challenge a month, if any. But answering emails, calculating things, crediting things, typing them up so they're publicly accessible, sending emails... It adds up, like, crazy fast.

The biggest thing is just getting myself started. Let's take today for example, I spent probably an hour and 15 minutes crediting all the reviews from last week, typing them all up on the group page, rolling virtual dice, rewarding everything, answering emails, and adding new items for review. I've spent probably 20 minutes writing this entry in between doing other things. After I post this, I'll read other entries and comment on those. So, yeah, easily 2 hours today on WDC stuff.

On top of that though, I've worked 4 hours gathering data for the classes where I'm a teaching assistant. I need this done Monday and probably have about 6-8 more hours I need to give that before Monday. I'm also going out in a little bit to work more so I'll probably work for 4 or 6 hours today with my other work. I have a couple assignments due tomorrow and I'll need, say, 2 hours to do those. That will probably take more time too, but let's just say 2 hours. If I get done with work in time, I'll finish those assignments tonight so that I'm not rushing to do them tomorrow.

Add it all up and that's a minimum of 12 hours today.

So yeah, I have trouble getting up.

Because I do this 7 days a week and have for years. I'm looking forward to graduating and getting a full-time job. Even working 60 hours a week, I'd be working less than I am now between my jobs and school.

I just remind myself that this shit is important. I have to pay my bills, so that part of my life is non-negotiable. I'm graduating at the end of the year, so there's no point in giving up now. And WDC stuff is important because I want to stay plugged into the community as much as I can. It's nothing compared to 2015 when I had a ton of free time to participate in everything and write a bunch, but it would make me sad to completely disconnect for months while I finish school.

Plus, to be honest, if I disconnected now, I probably wouldn't reconnect. I mean, out of sight out of mind, right? I very seriously doubt that if I spent the next 7 months working and finishing school that I'd graduate from college and jump back into WDC. When you're not here a lot, you are also out of sight out of mind. You can very easily slip away from the site without people really noticing that you're gone. Because of that, you're not going to really have the pull to come back if you're gone for a year.

So yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about.

But I do know that I wake up most mornings going, "Oh no."

My brain is totally fried. I can't keep track of basic conversation and spend most of the time saying, "What? What was that? What was I going to say? What were we talking about?" If it weren't for my journal, I wouldn't be able to tell you a single thing that happened last week. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The burnout is real, clearly.

But, I did get a couple gifts today that made me smile. I woke up to a merit badge from my old friend, ♥OctOGre tHiNg♥

Merit Badge in Congratulations
[Click For More Info]

Congratulations, you have created a positive reviewing ( and other ways too) movement of hope for others with inspiration, kindness and great ideas! The sky is the limit for your goals, my friend, as kindness will always (eventually in the long run, if not in the sprints) win the day. Let the sun shine in.*^*Hearty*^**^*Sun*^**^*Tulipy*^**^*Hearty*^*An old Hippy Flowerchild wannabe, named HOOves *^*Hearty*^**^*Cow*^**^*Tulipy*^**^*Cow*^* on the 50th Anniversary year of Woodstock, no less!

So that made my morning a little brighter.

And then my blog has been graced with an awardicon, so, that's pretty awesome. Thanks, ~Minja~

, for always listening...

... About this awardicon ...

Given by minja

Given to

Date Awarded: May 18, 2019

Well, I don't feel better when I'm fucking around
And I don't write better when I'm stuck in the ground

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