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Mon, Oct 27, 2025

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by FivetricksterTreats

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

👀intu the Darkness

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Waltz in the Lonesome October

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

May 4, 2019 at 12:10am

#958200

Smoke break? Check. ✓

Artist: Tool
Song: Right in Two
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" :
Stand outside for two minutes. Make a list of ten things you can smell, ten things you can hear, and ten things you can feel.

Just enough time for a smoke break. Don't mind if I do.

I finished my final exams this morning and then slept on and off for the rest of the day. I'm tired. The burnout is real. I only have a handful of classes left, but knowing I've gotta start the summer round in 2 days has got me feeling some kinda way. I'm so close to the finish line, but I'm feeling like I dunno if I can do this. I was so detached from myself and everything else the first month of this semester. I thought I was going to have to drop my classes because I hadn't really done anything for weeks.

But I pulled through that. I can pull through the summer and fall.

I live in the city and it's a Friday night. It's not nice out though. It's around 45 degrees out and raining a little bit. This feels like a grounding exercise one of my therapists would give me for when I'm dissociating.

I'm down though. Let's do it.

Things I can smell:
1) Rain. It smells like that humid spring kind of rain even though it's pretty cold out. Recently found out that this after rain smell is called by a chemical compound called geosmin

.
2) Grass. I think my apartment complex has already mowed the grass this spring and the rain is making it smell even more so like grass.
3) Smoke. Er, because I'm smoking...

4) Dogs? Not sure, kind of smells like dogs which would not be surprising because a lot of people have them here.
5) Flowers. The landscaping is pretty nice. There are flower beds on the sides of the buildings here.
6) Trees. I don't know what kind of trees are planted here, but they make me sneeze a lot at this time of year.

They have like this white petal things that get all of your car. Maybe someone else knows what they are.
7) Pavement. A lot of cars going by so there's that tire on pavement and gasoline smell you get in cities.
8) Perfume/Cologne. A few people walked by while I was out.
9) Fresh air. I don't know how to describe that smell, but like, crisp or cold air has a distinct smell.
10) Food. Not sure where it's coming from but it smells kind of like fries or something vaguely greasy.

Things I can hear:
1) Car horns. Always get some of those when I'm outside for a couple minutes.
2) Sirens. Again, always.

3) Shouting. Not angry shouting, more like someone who's just talking excitedly.
4) Music. I can't make out what kind of music, but I can hear the bass from one of the apartments.
5) Rain falling. One of my favorite sounds to sleep to. If only rain didn't give me headaches.

6) Dogs barking. I think there are more dogs here than people.
7) A baby crying. Luckily, my direct next door neighbor doesn't have a baby, but someone nearby does.
8) Footsteps. People walking by kind of squelching on the wet grass.
9) Birds. They got tricked into thinking winter was over.

10) Banging noises. Not sure, maybe a hammer or someone moving something.

Thing I can feel:
1) Rain. I'm standing under the eave thing but the rain is still angling a bit.
2) Humidity(?) Question mark because I'm not sure if it's sticky out because of humidity or if it's just the rain.
3) Pavement/Pebbles. Who does kick rocks when they're outside?
4) Wind. Very light (especially for us), but still there.
5) Bugs. A bug landed on me. I somehow survived the vicious attack.
6) My phone. Yeah, you're not gonna pry all of my electronics from my grip.

7) Lights. When you have a headache, you can totally feel the streetlights when you look at them.
8) Cold. Did I mention I'm fucking cold?

9) Brick. Leaning against the side of the building so I can feel the brick wall against my back.
10) Energy. Outside just has that outside energy. I always feel like anything could happen.

Hmm, well, that was challenging! I'm kind of glad it was raining otherwise I would've had to think of, like, 5 more things.

Thanks, May showers, I guess.

Little exercises like this are really great when you're feeling anxious or worried about something. I'm not going to say they work long term for those issues, but there's just like this peace of being in the moment and noting all the things you can sense with all of your senses. I've long done grounding exercises, especially when I'm feeling panicky because, if nothing else, they provide a brief distraction from whatever's going on.

Highly recommended.

Angels on the sideline
Puzzled and amused
Why did Father give these humans free will?
Now they're all confused

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