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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by FivetricksterTreats

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

👀intu the Darkness

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Waltz in the Lonesome October

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

July 14, 2019 at 1:21am

#962566

Admit it!

Artist: Radiohead
Song: Karma Police
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : In the age of the internet, most everything we say and do online will be preserved forever. Even though our opinions, beliefs, and actions change over time, should we still be held accountable for our words, even words spoken or written years ago?

This prompt is so deliciously 2019, right?

We've seen tons of stories in the news in the last couple years where someone's past social media posts have been dug up years after the fact. The fact of the matter is that many people can get away with having a not-so clean social media record because people aren't obsessively looking through and reacting to their posts. Most of us can't relate to what it would be like having millions of people dig through everything you've ever publicly written looking for something that could be deemed problematic.

There are a few different factors that play into it in my mind.

Societal changes
Things that were socially acceptable to say in 1999 aren't socially acceptable twenty years later in 2019. I'm sure some things that are socially acceptable today in 2019 will not be socially acceptable in 2039. That means all of us who have ever written anything on the internet have said something that could be potentially offensive twenty years in the future. There's no way to predict major societal shifts. Some things are harmless, if not a bit off-color, but aren't considered derogatory by today's standards. There's no guarantee of that in the future.

When these things come up, it's important to look at the time frame in which they were said. You can't just something from 1990 in 2020 standards. It just doesn't work.

Age
Another thing to look at is the person's age when they said the questionable thing. I for one don't believe that something an 18 year old said holds the same weight as something a 45 year old said. At 45, you've had many years to mature and grow into a respectful, empathetic, and caring human. At 18 years old, your brain isn't even fully developed yet. You'll still be regularly making mistakes and hopefully learning along the way and growing as a person.

It doesn't really work for someone in their 50s to say, "Well, gee, I was really young 10 years ago and I've since matured and grown as a person." But it can definitely be more reasonable for someone in their 30s to say, "Well, ya know, I was really young 10 years ago and my worldview was confused at the time/I was emotionally immature at the time, and I've since experienced more things and grown as a person."

Context
Of course, all of this depends on context. What was the person actually saying or trying to say? Was it within the context of some larger message or was it just a heinously cruel remark? Were they having an off-color sense of humor that went over well at the time, but goes over terribly now? Or were they being deliberately and maliciously hateful with no remorse?

There are differences between these things. Intentions do matter regardless of what anyone thinks. There's a major difference between inciting rage-filled hatred toward a specific person or group of people and making a stupid, off-handed remark that gets buried within seconds.

Did the person actively spend time building a following revolving around a cruel ideology or did they one time in 2007 say one sentence that could be seen as potentially problematic? Context is important

The Redemption Arc™
And then there's the infamous Redemption Arc.™ People do make mistakes. Even whole-ass adults make mistakes all the time. Life isn't about being a perfect person and I'd readily challenge anyone who says that they have never uttered or written a sentence that could be viewed as potentially offensive to another person or group of people. I fully believe in people's ability to be better than the person they were yesterday.

I think a person's ability to admit wrongdoing and attempt to make amends is worth a lot. If we don't give people that chance to improve, then what is the point in improving in the first place? Who is going to have the motivation to put forth effort in being a better person if they're just going to be shunned for their past mistakes anyway?

We've all done it
I would never call anyone out by name, but I've seen people casually drop some real zingers even here on WDC. Things that you'd totally be vilified for saying if you were in the public eye. I can honestly say that I don't believe anyone could find any history of me saying anything racist, sexist, homophobic, etc... against a group of people. It's just not in my personality and especially not in the 5 years I've been on WDC (which is my only 'social media').

However, I will readily admit that I have said things about religion that could be offensive. I have personal trauma related to my Catholic upbringing and I spent many years trying to avoid anything (or anyone) related to Catholicism and Christianity. I can almost feel myself mentally going, LALALALALA when I hear or read anything related to it. I've said some super mean things about the religion, and religion in general, obviously borne of angst and pain.

My point is... people make mistakes and say stupid things sometimes. There is a lot to consider when thinking of accountability for things that have been said in the past. It's rarely black and white.

Karma police, I've given all I can
It's not enough, I've given all I can

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