Search where?

This Portfolio (charlieabney)

All of Writing.Com

◄ July ► 2019
S	M	T	W	T	F	S
	1	2	3	4	5	6
7	8	9	10	11	12	13
14	15	16	17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	25	26	27
28	29	30	31
Archive				RSS

Create New Item

Read & Review

Community

Browse By Type

Browse By Genre

Writing Resources

Mon, Oct 27, 2025

10:24am EDT

Members: 698

Guests: 4,866

Total Online: 5,564

Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#2030442 by Not Available.

and

Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#1974611 by Not Available.

I blog for things like

Invalid Item

This item number is not valid.
#2146101 by Not Available.

FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by FivetricksterTreats

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

👀intu the Darkness

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Waltz in the Lonesome October

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

July 6, 2019 at 12:11am

#962132

Charlie of all trades?

Artist: The National
Song: I should live in salt
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : Make a list of five things you wish you could be a master of. Be sure to explain why you chose what you did.

I love this prompt so much, I could just eat it.

And because I'm using every possible excuse to distract myself from my anxiety, I'm ready to dream of all the things I wish I could master. I have a ton of hobbies, so this one is pretty easy for me. You know those people who have ONE thing they're really good at? I'm the opposite. I have a TON of things I kind of suck at all.

So, let's see...

1. Drawing. Above everything else, above writing even, I wish I was a master at drawing. You know when you see people sketching their surroundings? I want to be that person! To be fair, I do draw quite a bit and I've gotten much better at it than when I started, but I am by no means a master at it and I couldn't give my drawings away for free.

I would straight up have to pay someone to put my drawing on their refrigerator.

But... I enjoy it. I sketch during every lecture. Where most people take notes, I absorb information better if I'm listening along and doodling. I learned this at some point in university. I would be so busy trying to keep up with notes that I'd look back at my notes and be like, "WTF is even going on?" I didn't remember the lectures and my notes weren't very helpful.

When I'm sketching or doodling, it keeps my ADD brain from running off the rails. I've been in school for years and I've encountered a couple of professors who have an issue with this (95% of them don't care). But I have had a couple say something like, "Oh, am I boring you with my lecture?"

It's like, I'm actually listening way better than I would be if I were staring at you and taking notes. Not everyone learns the same way. Once I explain it to them, they seem to get it at least.

2. Accounting/Finance. These are my majors, so this makes sense. I'm pretty analytical. My grades are great. But to be a master of these fields? Ohmygod. The job stability and pay... There are so many things within accounting and finance that I'm just like, yeah, I'm never going to 'get' all of this. I feel like the more I learn, the less I know, because I become self-aware of all the potential things to know and how much I, you know, don't know them.

3. Writing. You didn't think it wouldn't make it on the list, right? I wish I was a master of storytelling. I wish I could come up with in-depth characters and storylines that actually made sense when I put pen to paper. In my head? All day. When I actually try to write a novel? Everything unravels. I wish writing came as easily to me as breathing.

Especially since I've been in school, I've had an incredibly difficult time writing creatively. If you write academically for years, everything you write starts sounding academic. Even the way I verbally speak has changed over the years. I try to write a poem now and it somehow has mathematical or business terminology that has no place being there.

4. Communication/Linguistics. Oh man, what I would give to be a master of communication. Do you ever have something in your head that you need to convey to another person, and then you open your mouth and everything goes to shit? This happens to me all the time. It's like, I know what I want to say, but then I don't anticipate the other person's reaction well so it just turns into a clusterfuck of miscommunication.

If working with others has taught me anything, it's that miscommunication is the bane of human interaction. Someone is saying something to me and I think they're saying something else. I react based on what I think they're saying. They react based on my reaction to the miscommunication. Ad nauseam. I've been in group projects where two different people thought they were doing the same part of the project. I have no idea how that happens, but, bad communication, I guess.

Sort of along the same lines, I wish I was a master of linguistics. I wish I fluently spoke 5 or 6 languages. Instead of speak, like, 3/4 of one and 1/4 of another.

If I had it my way, I would be fluent in English, Spanish, French, Italian, Portuguese, and German. That's the dream team of languages to me. I know quite a bit of Spanish and I know conversational French and Italian, but that's it. Oh, and English.

Once I'm done with school, I'll definitely spend some of my free time increasing my fluency in some of those languages.

5. Mood-Emotion Regulation/Emotional Intelligence. Yeah, I clearly don't know how to categorize this one. I basically wish I was better at controlling my mental health. Having Borderline Personality Disorder, my moods really fluctuate. Like, just swing wildly throughout the day. I wish I was one of those people who could just brush things off quickly.

I'm totally not.

If something pisses me off or upsets me, I quite literally cannot hide it. My moods are written all over my face and body language. My mood swings are so bad that people at school will approach me like, "Hey, Charlie... Are you in an okay mood?

"

And I'm like jesus f, I'm really bad at regulating my moods and emotions. It's like they need permission or to know that I'm okay before they come sit down and start talking to me.

I'm usually not mean to anyone who isn't me, but if I can say some pretty sarcastic/snappy bullshit before immediately apologizing.

I wish I could be a master of emotional intelligence. I wish I could take pause when necessary. I wish I could take criticism, like, at all. I can't take any criticism without getting my feelings hurt or getting pissed off.

I get jealous easily. I have a pretty low self-esteem. Just not super great qualities for a person to have.

But I do think I have empathy down, which is part of emotional intelligence. Although I have been told (only recently) that I'm not very empathetic. Usually during the middle of midterms or finals where I just have literally no time to muster up empathy as I normally do.

I should leave it alone but you're not right
I should live in salt for leaving you behind

Comment • View 9 comments

Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2181458-Are-You-Listening/day/7-6-2019