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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by FivetricksterTreats

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

👀intu the Darkness

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Waltz in the Lonesome October

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

July 7, 2019 at 1:01am

#962194

And for my next trick...

Artist: Portugal. The Man
Song: Noise Pollution
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Prompt via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : It’s the Sunday News! Reflect on the first week of July. Are you on track to meet your goals? What are your plans for the rest of the month?

The first week of July went about as expected for me.

I have a few different things going on, so let's break those down.

Camp NaNo. I decided at the last minute to do Camp NaNo in July. I know I'll be super busy during November this year, but I figured if I got some chapter drafts out now, I'll have something to revise and rewrite in November if I decide I want to do NaNo this year.

The one time I completed NaNo was in 2015, and I prepped pretty hard that year. I did the OctoPrep thing here in October and everything. Now I'm totally pantsing it and I'm finding that I might be more of a prepper type than a pantser type. I think there's a sweet spot in between where you prep the characters and storyline to an extent without fully fleshing out every character detail and outline every scene.

I'm doing pretty well with it though. My goal is 30,000 words. I'm at 4,549 words right now. According to NaNo stats, I should be at 5,806 words today. I ended up joining a different cabin today though because I completely scrapped the original project I had and it no longer fit in with the theme of my cabin.

The new group I'm with is pretty active on Discord though and I did several sprints with them today to get my word count back on track somewhat. As long as I can hit 979 words a day for the rest of the month, I'll hit my 30K goal.

And PS, if you wanna be NaNo buddies, here's my profile.

30DBC. Good so far... I think?

I've submitted my entries on time every day and I've commented on at least 95% of the blog entries I've read. I tend to comment more on the ones that are posted at night/morning of the due date and time just because in the afternoon and evening, I'm typically pretty busy. I still try to make my rounds as much as I can.

The good news is, we're a week in and I typically quit before a week in if I'm going to quit.

Other stuff. As expected, my anxiety has been pretty shitty. I'm looking forward to getting my prescription filled in a couple days. I tend to have a lot more trouble regulating my moods when I'm anxious. I have a generally difficult time keeping my temper under control, so I've had a couple frustrating moments this weekend. And by 'frustrating,' I mean I've lashed out a couple times this weekend.

I have too many people in my life who get under my skin and it's really difficult for me to be like, no, I'm just not having that conversation right now. I mean, I do say that, but then they manage to get a rise out of me because, I dunno, I guess I'm easy like that.

But getting back on my meds is top priority this week, for sure.

As for the rest of the month... I'm doing my best to relax and distract myself with things. That's most likely why I jumped into Camp NaNo and 30DBC this month. But I'm definitely mentally feeling the effects of June ("Invalid Entry"

for the uninitiated). I'm having a lot of nightmares. When I do fall asleep, I sort of jerk awake in a panic. I don't have time to calm myself down because I'm already panicking when I regain consciousness.

This isn't the first time I've dealt with issues like this. I was really hoping that summer would be a calm time for me after so many semesters of the whole school + work combo, but what can you do?

For the rest of the month, I think I'm just going to keep writing, drawing, and reading. I'm going to try to sleep and try to stop drinking every time I get down. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Live or die like c'est la vie

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