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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by FivetricksterTreats

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

👀intu the Darkness

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Waltz in the Lonesome October

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

August 1, 2019 at 12:02pm

#963551

FOMO - Fear Of Missing Out

Artist: Brand New
Song: Jesus Christ
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Prompt via "Invalid Item" : Prompt 1 - Have you ever felt like you're missing out in life? Describe a time when you missed an experience that you believe would have been rewarding. What can we do to make sure we're not missing out on important life experiences?

I actually never thought about this until I started university. Once I saw people who were 18 years old, living in the dorms with their parents supporting them, I got FOMO (fear of missing out) for the first time in my life. It made me start thinking about overarching things I'd missed out over the years. It wasn't just a matter of the people around me being younger than me, coming from more supportive families, it made me question everything.

It made me think about where I grew up and all the opportunities I'd missed out on by growing up in a very rural area. I was more or less competing with people who'd had college classes and internships while they were still in high school. People whose high schools offered business classes like accounting and economics (which were most certainly not offered in my school, even if I'd not dropped out).

The weirdest thing to me was how people didn't even seem to notice that they had this major advantage in life. They went to some of the best private prep schools in our state and just think that's standard.

They're like, "Wait, so this is your first accounting class?

"

It took me a while to get over that feeling like I'd missed out on important experiences, like staying in a dorm room at 18 years old in college and graduating at 22. Like just going to class and drinking at night because you don't have to worry about paying bills or working. If you're someone who had that opportunity, that's awesome, but just know that you were privileged in that regard. Being kicked out of my house and having to leave school sophomore year of high school made it nearly impossible to get myself back into a position to go to university.

Of course, that means I never had those traditional high school things like prom and graduation. See the rabbit-hole this all led me down?

It became a lot of hey, I never got to do that and I only had one chance to do it. I don't even know anyone from high school at this point because I left halfway through and lost contact with everyone.

I've overcome this FOMO for the most part though. I've realized that I also had a ton of experiences that other people will never experience. Not all of them were good, but all of them have made my life what it is. I've gotten myself back on my feet and I'm nearly graduated at this point, so it all works out in the end, I guess. I think having certain experiences would have helped my personal development and I think not having certain other experiences would have helped my personal development, but hopefully I'm a well-rounded enough person because of it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In order to not miss out in life... I think there are a couple things we can do:

Say "yes" more frequently. Not everything in life is a major experience, but by turning down offers to do things all the time, you definitely limit your experiences overall. Even if it's something small (like joining a writing activity), I think we should just give things a go more often. Worst case scenario, you don't enjoy or complete whatever you've committed yourself to.

Try not to compare yourself to others. This is the most difficult one for me. When I started university, I had such jaded feelings because of my history vs. other people's histories. That's totally the wrong way to look at situations. I should have looked at things in a more positive way because my other life experiences led me to make less mistakes, change my major less, and find something I enjoy. I also have my own advantages and privileges in life, so it's always good to recognize those. Also stay away from social media if you're the type of person who will look at other people's feeds and start feeling bad about what you're doing in your day-to-day life. Keep in mind that you're looking at other people's highlight reels.

Seek out new experiences. Don't just wait until an experience comes along and commit to saying 'yes' to it. I mean, that's something you should consider doing, for sure, but opportunities don't always just fall into your lap. You also have to make an effort to experience things. Even if it's something small like taking a day trip somewhere, learning a new language, reading something outside of your usual genre, writing outside of your comfort zone, etc. you're still getting a new experience.

Do you believe you're missing out?
That everything good is happening somewhere else?

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