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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by FivetricksterTreats

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

👀intu the Darkness

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Waltz in the Lonesome October

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

August 8, 2019 at 10:54pm

#963937

You're probably manipulative af

Artist: Cage the Elephant
Song: Take It or Leave It
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Prompt via "JAFBG" : Some people are manipulative as fuck. What are the signs you're being manipulated?

I'm pretty pissed off fucked off right now with manipulative people. I don't know if I just notice it more as I get older or if I've somehow suddenly surrounded myself with manipulative people, but regardless, they're here. I've been working on ways to tell when someone's manipulating you.

Here's what I've come up with so far:

Gaslighting. The narcissist's prayer on this one:

"That didn't happen. And if it didn't happen, it wasn't as bad as you're acting. And if it was that bad, it's not a big deal. And if it is a big deal, then it's not my fault. And if it was my fault, I didn't mean to do it. And if I did mean to do it, you deserved it."

Being overly impatient. Just constantly throwing things at you and knocking you off balance when you don't respond the correct way immediately. They make you feel stupid for taking time to think because they don't want you to think, and they use their temper to reinforce your self-doubt.

"What do you want to do? Oh, you can't decide right now? Say something or I'm going to interpret you not responding in a negative way and make this decision on your behalf."

Pretend joking. They're being a gigantic asshole and they know it, but they're gonna pretend they're just kidding and then if you get mad, you're gonna be the asshole. Watch:

"I was JUST KIDDING when I asked if you were really going to eat a cookie for dessert in front of all our friends. Oh my god. You literally cannot take a joke. HAHA. You're so uptight. Woooow, I'm just messing with you. Learn to take a joke. Chill out. Jesus, you're no fun at all. Are you seriously mad right now?"

The cold shoulder. You said something they disagreed with or confronted them about something that's bothering you. Because you've gone against them, they're going to withdraw their love. They're going to pretend you don't exist because their ego is incredibly fragile. It looks like this:

".............................................................."
(3 days later after you've apologized many times for expressing your feelings) "............................................ What are you talking about? I wasn't even ignoring you."

I'm the victim, always. Exactly what it sounds like. If you express concern over anything, they're going to pretend they're the victim and you're tormenting them because you're cruel. Like:

"How could you call me out on pretending to joke around while simultaneously picking apart your weaknesses? I can't believe you're treating me like this when I'm just now getting over a common cold and haven't been sleeping well! *cue tears*"

You talk, I'll judge. Instead of having ideas of their own, they wait until you state your opinion or viewpoint and then they pick it apart without ever actually having a horse in the race because they've not given their opinion. For example:

"I asked for your input on this decision we need to make and you responded. Now, how could you possibly think that idea would be a plausible solution to this problem? Here are all the reasons why your suggestion is completely pointless."

Professional word spinners. You say one thing and they take your words and completely twist them to fit their narrative about you being terrible. You ask them to take out the trash and it somehow escalates to:

"You always say that I don't do anything! If I'm so completely worthless and too stupid to know when the trash should be taken out then why do you even act like you like me!?"

Hot and cold. They push your buttons until you lash out and then they imply that you're overreacting. They've intentionally gotten under your skin using a topic and methodology they've learned from you, and then they 180 reverse with:

"Oh, hey, it's no reason to get upset.

I was just saying. I'm not upset at all, why are you upset? You're the only one who's upset. I'm confused!

Do you want to go grab lunch?"

Nice only sometimes. They're sickeningly sweet only when they want something from you and immediately after you've given them what they want. Any other time, they treat you lukewarm at best and they certainly won't be willing to do anything for you. Looks like:

When they want something from you: "You were always such a good writer. Way better than me! Seriously thank you soooo much for agreeing to edit my resume. You're a lifesaver. I have no idea what I would do without you."
Soon after doing the favor for them: Either no response to communication at all or just a very lukewarm response as though you're inconveniencing them by speaking to them, like, "Oh, um, hey... I've been fine. I haven't talked to you for 5 months because I've been busy, but I might need a favor soon, so...."

That's all I've got for now.

Do you have any other ways to tell you're being manipulated??

Sweet wheel of death keeps us holding our breath
I step to the right, you move to the left

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