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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by FivetricksterTreats

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

👀intu the Darkness

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Waltz in the Lonesome October

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pumpkin

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

Elisa, Stik-or-Treat

Feb 19, 2023 at 10:26am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I've had decent participation with Journalistic Intentions (even though I know my prompts are sometimes considered "difficult"). I do think that there's been a bit of a shift in regards to contests and activities, where people have been more open to admitting they find some setups too restricting or that they feel intimidated by contests. I would love to be in discussions to address those issues, but so far I haven't been invited.

September 10, 2019 at 12:05am

#965913

Weird facts of losing it

Artist: Led Zeppelin
Song: Tangerine
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

Prompt from LdyPhrankenstein via "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" : What are some of the weirdest facts you've ever learned? Wow us with your bizarre knowledge!

Prompt via "JAFBG" : Write about a fact of life that many people seem to have trouble grasping.

I'm going to get a little creative with this one because I recently wrote a huge list of weird facts and I think I might be tapped out! Luckily, there's a "fact" prompt for "JAFBG"

too and I'm more than in the mood to rant. I'll just combine the two prompts. See, things work out usually.

Check out "Invalid Entry"

for my list of weird facts from May.

I wish I could go back to July.

June was such a difficult month, I was determined to make July better. And I did. I don't know what's happened recently. Going back to school and being sick has just weighed on me endlessly. I know that I should be looking for post-grad jobs, but I have this horrible lingering cough and we still pretty much have no official answers as to why.

More than that though, my anxiety has been absolutely h o r r e n d o u s for the past few weeks. I'm barely sleeping. When I do sleep, I have nightmares and jolt awake in a total panic. I can't even tell if I'm awake or asleep at night. It's like having fever dreams minus the fever.

I feel like I'm hallucinating at night. I have clear memories of things happening while fully conscious, but that's disproven by the fact that they, ya know, didn't happen. I must be asleep, but it doesn't feel that way at all. It actually feels like I'm losing my grip on reality.

The liberal amount of benzos I'm taking to keep my anxiety at bay probably isn't helping, but I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to cope or stave it off for good.

But, quick, before my meds kick in... Let me try to write something from the prompts.

Here are some facts of life that I have trouble grasping (and maybe other people do too):

Playing by the rules doesn't always work.
Life is weird in that society tells you what you're supposed to do, so when you do that thing, you expect results. The truth is that you don't stand out when you play by the rules. There are millions of people just like you playing by the exact same rules. You're all doing the same shit. You have to step outside of the box to actually get recognition, so dotting your t's and crossing your i's in the rulebook of life is basically pointless, in my opinion. The hardest working people often don't reap the rewards of their work. The ones who often do reap the benefits are the people who are willing to do things that you wouldn’t ethically or morally do.

A lot of people are just ignorant, not malicious.
This is personally super difficult for me to accept because I just can't imagine some of the things people do regularly being the result of anything but malicious intent. Alas, a lot of people genuinely just lack the self-awareness and general knowledge to do what you'd expect them to do. I think it's so natural to be like, "Man, that person is a total asshole." And the person you're talking about is totally oblivious to the fact that you feel that way because that's just how oblivious they are. About everything. Always.

Organized childhood abuse is absurdly common and nearly inevitable.
Think of any organization that involves a lot of children with adults overseeing them. I can almost guarantee there is a major abuse issue that has either already been leaked, is being actively covered up, or will be leaked at some point. We already know about the Catholic church

. We know about the Boy Scouts

. We know about the Olympics

. We know about Hollywood

.

These things aren’t even really hidden. The abusers are protected by the organizations while the victims are silenced and rarely ever even get validation that what happened to them was wrong. It isn’t a matter of if an organization that deals with a lot of children is a breeding ground for sexual abuse, it’s whether you'll actually hear about it and when.

Problems are mostly temporary.
AKA “This too shall pass.” Whenever I’m feeling super down, I always remind myself of times I’ve felt worse. Then I think about how I’ve felt better between then and now. There have been so many things and people that I thought mattered. Countless problems that I’ve just completely left in the past without a second thought. The things that are bothering me now will likely lift at some point, just like the things in the past that bothered me have often lifted over time.

Measuring a summer's day, I only finds it slips away to grey

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