%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 06:18 I read one of the author newsletters here yesterday and it was about how important it is as a writer to read. I'd never given it much thought before - sure, I like reading, but if I don't have time for it, I don't have time for it. But the writer of the newsletter said that it's important as a writer to make the time and I hadn't realised how important it is to continually read other people's stuff, to grasp how they add layers of meaning to their stories, how they use narrative devices and such, so I have decided that I will make the time to read at least a little bit every day. Trips to the library shall be in order! I'm reading a book about Imran Khan at the moment - it's kind of an autobiography...is that the one someone's written themselves? Or is that a biography?  Anyway, it's titled Pakistan: A Person History. I like the premise - he is speaking about the history of Pakistan from his own perspective, since he was only five years old when we separated from India, so he has sort of grown up with the country. It's a slow read - it's not a fantasy book I can whizz through. There are a lot of dates and lots of important stuff happening so it can be a lot to take in. I'm not usually into reading this kind of book but I figured I could learn a thing or two about my country. And I have! Loads! 06:30 |
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