%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 06:20 This is supposed to be my time! Boo-hoo! But yesterday, my son broke his curtain rail so now he has no curtains in his room! Because of that, he woke up at some point in the night and, due to the light coming into his room, he didn't fall asleep again! Now I can hear him puttering around in his room. The little brat! I want my time! I need my time! T_T In other news...there is no other news. I might have found another friend to look over my mermaid story for me but with the amount of times I've been disappointed so far, I'm not hopeful. It's one of those things you just have to get on with, don't you? And even if I don't get a second opinion, I'll put the story out there. People who really need to work on their writing - like, really need to work on it - fearlessly put their stuff up and here I am, agonising about details when I know I'm a good writer. But the perfectionist in me cringes at the thought of putting something up when I could have done better. But to hell with the perfectionist! Anyway, the comment feature allows people to comment paragraph-by-paragraph so, while that is daunting as hell, it's also pretty useful, right? I can make whatever corrections I need to as people read. 06:28 |
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