%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 05:49 I did a fair bit of writing yesterday. I got in 2000+ words. Not great, but all right. It's harder than you might think to rehash a story you've written before lol. I keep going back to what was written previously - because I've written their story out twice, I know it pretty well and I know them pretty well. But I'm finding that with every new story of theirs that I write, the MC gets even more reserved than she was before. In the very first story, she was reserved too but she had a hardness about her which would come out if she was provoked enough. In the second one, she is very timid and it takes a lot to get a conversation out of her (except for the main guy, of course, since they have a lot in common). In the third one, she appears to be downright terrified of talking to people. I've discovered that I have this weird tendency to make my main female characters quiet. In my main novel, RT, the main girl is mute. In the mermaid story, she didn't talk much but then she makes a deal with a witch and loses her voice as a part of it. Now in this one, my main character is someone who doesn't interact well at all. I mentioned this to my nephew and he said maybe it's because you're quiet. It's a possibility, I guess. But the girls are usually a lot better looking than I am!  05:57 |
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