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Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 06:00 Usually, at this time, I'm on a tight schedule. I wake early, do my morning prayers, get some writing done, and then my son wakes and I get him ready for nursery. I get a couple of hours to myself, to do what I need to do. Of course, when you have a glass of water at hand and you manage to knock it all over your computer desk, it significantly eats away at the allotted time you have. Argh, I'm so mad! I hope there's no damage! I'm usually very cautious about putting drinks near my computer...well, no, not really. But since I moved the desk down to the kitchen (don't ask), I've grown accustomed to eating and drinking at the computer. I should really be more careful than that. Dear me. I feel so crappy right now. In other news...there is no other news. NaNo is proceeding fairly smoothly. I'm logging my word count every day and there's always something more to add so it's all good. Although I'm still stuck on what the premise of the story actually is. At the moment, the characters are just getting to know one another better. 06:06 |