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Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #2186370

Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool!

A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes.

I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore!

I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children.

I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be.

I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone.
September 17, 2019 at 1:43am
September 17, 2019 at 1:43am
#966304
06:29

I'll be going back to college this morning. I don't wanna go! The long summer break has made me even lazier than usual. I hope once I'm out and about, I'll get into the swing of things. My son is also starting nursery today - he had a bit of a taster yesterday. I was with him then. He seemed to enjoy it but he's probably going to cry when he sees me leaving him. Oh well. In those types of situations, the best thing you can do is dump them and go. Dump 'n' Go!

Finding Tapas - the app for reading/uploading comics and novels which I mentioned a few entries back - has led me to Wattpad. It's similar, but seems to be only for written stories. I've not had a proper look yet but most of the story covers seem to suggest there is romance/smut aplenty. On Tapas, romance and BL (Boys Love - Boys' Love?) seem to be the most popular genres. I've been reading through some forum posts and it seems Tapas is not a good place to start for a fantasy writer whose work does not feature romance heavily. But Wattpad has many genres listed so I'm going to try that.

Wish me luck!

06:43

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