%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 21:48 The best days are those that start off nice and early, before my little one wakes up. I get up, do my morning prayer, get on the computer to get some work done or write at least 1000 words for a story, and then spend the rest of the day chilling with my little boy or doing pastime stuff for myself (like reading! Although reading shouldn't be a pastime for a writer, I reckon). Those days are awesome. I had such a day today, although I wish I'd done my blog entry in the morning too so I wouldn't be stressing about it in the evening. One of the reasons for adjusting my sleeping schedule so I woke up early was so that I wouldn't have to do all the things I had to do on an evening after putting my son to bed. I used to go to sleep between 1-3 in the morning. Not good! Waking early is working out so much better for me, although I'm still always tired since I don't think I'm getting my requisite 7-8 hours of sleep. I always promise myself that I'll have a little nap during the day, but if I do that, then my son will do so too and then he won't sleep till like 9-10. I like having a couple hours in the evening to chill out by myself too. Not much else to say. I feel I repeat a lot of what goes on in my life on my blog so if you're a long-term reader, apologies for repeated subject matter. I don't get out much, as I'm sure you might be aware by now (if you're a long-term reader). Not much to write about. 21:58 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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