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 |  is paved with good intentions... |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Hi, I'm Elle. I'm based in Auckland, New Zealand. I'm the mother of two young adults, the wife of an entrepreneurial gamer and the Queen of Unfinished Projects. This blog will contain poems, short stories, possibly photos and book reviews if you're lucky, and my thoughts on a variety of topics. Hope you enjoy it. |
| Steve and I redid our budget tonight to incorporate all the new costs that come with the bach. We've had to add:  Rates Water House and contents insurance Mortgage repayments PowerI'm going to get quotes to increase our life insurances now too, but I haven't factored them in yet. It's enough at the moment that if we both die, there'll be no mortgage left, and if only one of us dies, the other will have a substantial buffer. I really need to not have a mortgage if I lose Steve, but I guess I could sell the bach if it came to that. It doesn't bear thinking about (either of us dying I mean, not just the selling of the bach) but it's important to be practical. We've cancelled these outgoings: My Ancestry.co.uk membership. I haven't made good use of this for a while. The good thing is that when I want to, I can reinstate it and I haven't lost anything. My Writing.com membership. This is paid up to March next year. Not sure what I'll do after that. Reassess I guess. At the very least I'll go down a membership bracket. Steve's WW membership. He wasn't making use of this anyway since he doesn't use the app or go to meetings. It was just wasted money.And we've reduced our grocery budget. Not terrifyingly so, but by about 25%. It was very generous. And we've kept these little luxuries: Haircuts including me getting my hair coloured every 8 weeks. Obviously Steve's haircuts are a necessity, not a luxury, but mine are more of a luxury and dyeing my hair definitely is. Netflix Sky TV (we're on a 1-year contract, but Steve is keen to keep it anyway, mostly for the rugby) My WW membership Steve's Twitch subs The family Spotify subscription My regular SPCA donation (at this stage).The biggest reduction for me will be in the spending I do on ebooks. I know, yes, clothes, but I've got loads of clothes now. Well, not loads. I literally have two pairs of pants for work, but I have LOADS of exercise gear.  But I spend a lot on ebooks. BUT I have loads and loads of ebooks. I own more than 2,700 ebooks. I've read approximately 1,400 of those. That means I have 1,300 that I own but have never read. Oh my god, that's ludicrous. I had no idea it was that bad. Surely those numbers can't be right? Surely I've read more than 1,400. Erk.  Anyway, I have a lot of unread ones still to enjoy. A bunch of those are ones that Mum bought when we were sharing an Amazon account, and some of the ones she bought don't really appeal to me, but there's plenty on there that I'll enjoy reading. And then there's all the ones I did enjoy that I would like to re-read. I do like to re-read a good book once a year or so. And I have 175 books that I've rated five stars, let alone all the good ones I enjoyed reading but rated 4 stars. I've definitely re-read four star books before. So even if I only re-read books that I had previously rated five stars, I'd still have more books than I could comfortably read in a year. How nuts is that?! So yeah, I'll be okay on my book budget. I'm not saying that it'll be easy. Because it won't be. I think I've proven that I am incredibly tempted by new books. Schnujo's Giving Away GPs  can relate, right? But it's definitely doable.I do have four books that are currently pre-ordered. One releasing in July, one in August and two in October. Anyway, our new budget is definitely doable. We need to learn how to save money so we're not living pay to pay (you'd think we could do that in our 40s, but no!). I'm glad I have my little bill accounts though, they're such a lifesaver. I have separate accounts for household bills, online subscriptions, health expenses, transport expenses, groceries and haircuts, to ensure we don't spend money that is allocated to something. It's something I learned from the financial adviser I worked with in my last job and it's been so good. So yeah. Not sure why anyone cares to read about it, but figured since I'd written this all up for my personal journal, I might as well post a version of it here. |
| So we got an independent inspection report done on the property we were keen on. We already knew it needed a new roof, and we knew there was an area of flooring under the shower that the vendor had agreed to replace. The report also highlighted a few other concerns about the weather tightness of the windows and the need for a retaining wall at the back. The next step was to get a builder's quote. Then we took my dad up to see it and get his approval. It wasn't his first choice, but he admitted that he could see the appeal, and he could tell we had our hearts set on it. So he agreed to contribute some money in return for a share of the property. We spoke to our bank, and they agreed to lend us approximately 87% of the asking price. Dad's money would be enough to get the repairs done. So we put in a cheeky offer at about 79% of the asking price. They got a bit grumpy about that, and counter-offered at 95%. We met them halfway at 87% and said that was our final offer and we couldn't go a cent higher because that was the limit of our finance, and they accepted it. The offer includes all the furnishings, but we agreed that we'd fix the shower floor ourselves, which we thought would make the offer more attractive to them, because it meant they could just walk away. The offer went unconditional today, and settlement is on 28 July. Squee! We're getting a second builder's quote, to make sure we're not being ripped off, and then we'll use Dad's funds to do all the necessary repairs. Then it's ours. And we can use it. Holy shit, we'll have a holiday home of our very own, right on the beach. I can't WAIT for summer! Dad will own 7% of the property. I'm not sure whether he'll make much use of it or not. I kind of hope he does, and that he gets some enjoyment out of taking some friends there for holidays. We couldn't have bought it without his help, and I'm crazy appreciative of his generosity. |
| The Tales of the High Court series by Megan Derr encompasses five full-length novels. Each novel focuses on a different couple but continues an over-reaching story arc. The series is set in a fictional world that has no modern technology - no cars, computers, phones, etc. There are a number of countries/kingdoms in the world, with most ruled over by the High King of Harken. The most interesting thing for me is the way the Harken empire views genders. Children are not assigned genders at birth, but choose their own gender when they're ready. 'Identical twins, born in the earliest hours of the morning, named for minor demi-gods of hope and joy. They'd been four when Chiri had declared she was a girl, and Chara had announced a few months later he was a boy.' In book one, the two main characters are High King Sarrica and Prince Allen. High King Sarrica was previously married to a man who died at war. However, over the course of the story, it becomes clear that Sarrica's husband gave birth to his two children. It is only with tidbits like this that we become aware that Sarrica's deceased husband was biologically female but recognised by the world as a man and treated as such. There is no word for 'transgender' in their world. 'it's now rightfully considered in poor taste to clarify what sort of genitals a person has unless they prefer those particular pronouns.' The only way the people of that world seem to differentiate between biological and chosen genders is by noting whether or not a person is biologically capable of becoming pregnant. 'My mother would give birth to kittens if I took up as a merchant, and she doesn't even have the right parts.' If a couple wanted to have children but neither partner was capable of becoming pregnant, they would use what is referred to as a 'dame', which is a surrogate. Not all the countries/kingdoms in the world work the same way in relation to gender, which allows the author to showcase the topic. "Men can bear children and keep a house as well." Myra laughed and finished his wine, setting the cup down with a hard clack on the edge of the desk. "As I said, they are nothing like Harken. Everyone here considers me a man because I am one, but were I to go home, they would say I was a woman who gave up being so to live 'like a man' so I could be an assassin, since my family had too many daughters and not enough sons to bring the family honor and prestige." "I…" Jader shook his head, stood, and poured them both more wine. "That is very old-fashioned thinking." There are no gender-specific roles in Harken, which makes for interesting reading as there are a number of military and battle scenes across the books. None of the military roles or ranks are gender-specific. 'Like most sailors, she wore a leather cord around her neck strung with beads that indicated she was a woman, since some cultures were weirdly old-fashioned and rigid when it came to things like gender and didn't default to a neutral when they weren't sure what an individual preferred.' My own children are grown now, but I watch as others have children and wonder how long it will be before we stop assigning gender at birth and wait for children to tell us what gender (if any) they wish to be identified as. I imagine that time will come. This series gives us an insight into how that might look and work, albeit in a fictional world that does not share our technology. I found the series compelling and fascinating, and I highly recommend it. The characters were all well fleshed out and a number of them were quite witty (especially Lesto in his interactions with Sarrica). “I'm about to implement a policy of throwing people out the window whenever they make my life harder instead of easier." "With greatest respect," Lesto drawled, "Your Majesty would have to pitch himself out first.” Each novel is a romance, but they are gritty books. In terms of trigger warnings, I hope this suffices: A number of the characters are active soldiers and the empire is at war during much (if not all) of the series, so there are battle scenes and on-page death of secondary and minor characters. Several of the characters are tortured, both on-page and historical. The last book also features a victim of rape and his memories of such. There are also explicit sex scenes in which the author uses the traditional terms for genitals regardless of the gender of the person. I have read books in which a transgender character prefers to use the words that match their gender even if their genitals don't match those terms, but in this book the author doesn't do that. Also, book four contains mis-gendering and deadnaming by family members. Sarrica and Allen:
Lesto and Shemal:
Jader and Kamir:
Charlaine, Myra and Jac:
Chass and Desmond:
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These are the books I read in June 2022, and the ratings I gave them. The Shackles That Hold Us by Michele Notaro The High King’s Golden Tongue by Megan Derr The Pirate of Fathoms Deep by Megan Derr The Heart of the Lost Star by Megan Derr The Fallen King’s Penitent Soldier by Megan Derr  Ornamental by E M Lindsey Betrothed by Claire Cullen Bestowed by Claire Cullen Promised by Claire Cullen A Kiss To Revive Me by Michele Notaro The Mercenaries of the Stolen Moon by Megan Derr The Shepherd by Cara Dee Dad Jokes by Freesia Woodley Our Hearts That Tie Us by Michele Notaro My Lonely Shifter Match by Skye Alder |
| I found out today that our elderly neighbour, who went into a rest home earlier this year, passed away this morning. I'm not taking it so well. Haven't cried yet, but that's only because I'm at work. I think part of it is normal grief, when you've loved someone. And part of it is that it's the end of an era. Her husband died last year during covid lockdowns, and the house has been sold. Her son is over from Australia at the moment (I'm glad he was with her when she passed) and is clearing out her house. He has given us some things, which is nice. A few pieces of crystal, and some appliances. But the other neighbours have also sold, and so the two lots of neighbours we got on best with are both gone or going. And everything is changing. And while that's okay, and it's even a little bit exciting (we put in an offer on the beach house yesterday), it's still hard to say goodbye to all those happy memories that we made. I feel like we're moving away, even though we're still in the same house. I think I feel a little bit lost and a little bit out of control, and a lot sad. And I need to not be writing this anymore before I start bawling at my desk and people think I'm weird for a) crying at work and b) crying over my next door neighbour. But we love who we love, and we don't need to be related to someone to love them. And Errol and Colleen loved my children like grandchildren, and we all loved them. They were kind and funny and naughty and rude and they adored all our pets. I will miss them both. |
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