%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |  is paved with good intentions... |
|
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Hi, I'm Elle. I'm based in Auckland, New Zealand. I'm the mother of two young adults, the wife of an entrepreneurial gamer and the Queen of Unfinished Projects. This blog will contain poems, short stories, possibly photos and book reviews if you're lucky, and my thoughts on a variety of topics. Hope you enjoy it. |
| I had an interesting (and rather painful) conversation in the office today. It bears noting that at 42, I'm the second-youngest person in the office and the youngest is nearly 40. Not that that's an excuse, but it, sadly, is somewhat of an explanation. One of my colleagues, let's call him Peter, complained because he received an email from a government employee named George, and in George's signature it had his preferred pronouns (he/him). Peter was all 'Well of course he's a man, his name is George! What a ridiculous thing to put in his signature! Blah blah blah'. We've had this conversation in the office before. This is not a new topic. My younger colleague, let's call her Sian, did her best to explain that for some people, their pronouns were not always easy to identify based off their names, and hence they put their pronouns in their signature. Peter considered that was fine, but why did the rest of society have to follow suit? And Sian explained that it was to support that minority and stop them standing out so much. Peter was disgusted by that idea. "They are a very very small percentage of the population, I don't see why the rest of us should have to cater to them!' OMG.  I did point out that we had a female client called George (short for Georgina), so he was blatantly wrong on all his assumptions even if the world was as simple as he wanted it to be.  As that conversation disintegrated, my boss walked out of his office and said 'Just to remind you all, it's okay to have these conversations today, but we can't have them when Paul is here, as he has two gay children.' I pointed out that not only could we have those conversations with Paul, we already had, and the only difference is that the ignorant and offensive colleagues had to be more careful with what they said. My boss agreed with that. Then another colleague, let's call her May, wants to know more. "So Paul has two gay children? Two boys who are gay?' No, my boss explains that he has a daughter who is married to another woman and a gay son who is single. And then that conversation dissolves into a sea of ignorance and assumption. "If they are both women, how do you know which one is the husband?" Neither one is the husband, they are both wives. "Then if they're both wives, how do you know which one is the man in the relationship?" There are no men in the relationship, that's the point of a lesbian relationship! "But gay men are more feminine than straight men and gay women are more masculine than straight women." Not always. "But the one who is more masculine is the man in the relationship." No! There are no men in the relationship!  Then my boss tries to help by very unhelpfully discussing people who have transitioned and retain their sexuality, which blows May's tiny little mind. So then I have to intercede and explain in very simple terms that gender identity and sexual orientation are two very different things, and just because one changes doesn't mean the other changes. And that neither have to remain static for a person's entire life. I think the conversation was educational for May and frustrating and infuriating for Sian, Peter and myself. My boss was mostly amused I think. I understand ignorance. I do. We all start from a place of ignorance until we learn. May was ignorant, but open to learning. I have zero problems with that. But Peter? He's the kind of person who thinks 'You do whatever you want to do, but it better not affect me.' Even to the point of having to see someone's pronouns in their email signature. It's so disturbing. I know some of it is a generational thing, but the sad fact is that Peter and Paul are the same generation. The difference is that Paul has two queer children and so he's taken it upon himself to become more educated and more tolerant and accepting. And my boss is the same generation (Peter, Paul and my boss are all within ten years of each other) but has a brother who is gay. But my boss does have some terrible ideas about gay people because he stereotypes based on his experiences with his brother (i.e. all gay men are dramatic and emotional). So yeah, an interesting day in the office. Oh, and Sian and I have now added our pronouns to our office email signatures.  |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
