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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2195306-The-Road-To-Elle/month/2-1-2023
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by Elle Author IconMail Icon
Rated: GC · Book · Biographical · #2195306

is paved with good intentions...

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


Hi, I'm Elle. I'm based in Auckland, New Zealand. I'm the mother of two young adults, the wife of an entrepreneurial gamer and the Queen of Unfinished Projects. This blog will contain poems, short stories, possibly photos and book reviews if you're lucky, and my thoughts on a variety of topics. Hope you enjoy it.
February 15, 2023 at 10:29pm
February 15, 2023 at 10:29pm
#1044904
I collected labels

         this one pristine and crisp,
         straight off the psychologist's printer

         this one, from my childhood schoolbag,
         wrinkled,
         lacking adhesive,
         with an odour of expired yoghurt

and I built a mosaic
to present to the world
as me.
February 7, 2023 at 9:58pm
February 7, 2023 at 9:58pm
#1044428
I'm feeling a bit lost. Those who have been following along will remember that I was in the process of having myself and my daughter assessed for ADHD. Well, I have been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and she has been diagnosed with combined ADHD. Our appointments to discuss treatments aren't until late June though. In the meantime, I'm like 'I have this new information, but how does that help?'

It's definitely not helped by what my doctor thinks is a hormone imbalance. Being at the mercy of my hormones in terms of mood, food cravings, etc., makes me feel even more out of control. Like, my ADHD is preventing me from having control over 90% of my life and now my hormones have taken control of the other 10%. What part of my life do I actually control anymore? None of it.

Except that I got the diagnosis and made the appointment for treatment, even if that treatment is still five months away. And I spoke to my doctor about the hormonal issues and had a blood test last week and have an appointment on Thursday to discuss the results. So I have taken that much control, I guess. With my ADHD issues, that's actually huge progress. I mean, yeah, I missed my original doctor's appointment because I got distracted by something, but I got there in the end, and I made progress. I should be proud of that, I guess.

Hopefully we can sort out the hormonal issues quickly and then start tackling some of the ADHD issues in June.

In the meantime, I feel like there's so much I want to do, so much I want to say and write, so much waiting to be created....but I can't do any of it. I'm spending every spare minute doing quiet, restful things just to self-soothe. Reading and colouring in, mostly. My issue has always been completing things, but right now I feel like I can't even start anything. I know it's the hormones, they're fucking with my head, but that's where I'm at. Hopefully Thursday brings a practical way forward to tackle at least one of my issues.


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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/2195306-The-Road-To-Elle/month/2-1-2023