Short stories, daily thoughts, and chaos embodied - this is my blog!
Welcome to my blog, Dark Thoughts of a Twisted Mind. I’m SylverDawn, but you can call me Sylver. Now, on to my blog – starting, with the introductory post. I suppose I should begin by telling you a little about myself, but – I am my least favorite subject. Truth be told, I’m a very private person, and I tend to keep the details of my life to myself. Yes, even my family complains that I keep too much to myself and inform me that I need to open up just a wee bit more. >.> It’s a common conversation in my home. The good news is – you learned something about me! Better yet, I’m feeling generous this morning, so I will spare you the gruesome details of my life as of late. (Actually, I’m very…blarg today and I’m forcing my way through this, but let us go with it…)|
I will share the purpose of this blog and my goals. Just like the majority of you, I strive to publish my work. I’m not sure I want to become as famous as, say, Stephen King, but I do want to bring a little bit of joy to people by providing them with an escape from reality they can truly enjoy. (Sadly, I’m not expressing myself very well thanks to my blarg mood, but I will not give up, and I will not submit to the darkness of my mind…so please bare with me.) As for the blog – thanks to a string of events in my life, I stopped writing for a long time, and then wrote sporadically at best. However, I never let go of my dreams, my life’s goal of becoming a published author. That is easier said than done thanks to those events and a serious lack of self esteem. Again, I will not give up, so – I force myself to write every day in my writing journal. Some days, that is a drive I can’t resist while other days are filled with struggling and half thought out ideas. During all of this, I’m also working on a novel – currently in the plotting portion of the game. What does this have to do with this blog? Many of my blog entries will consist of my daily writing exercises. I may write some entries focused around the events of my day or something I want to share. One never knows with me, not even me.
Heck of an introduction, right? You learned so much in such a brief amount of time that I fear I’ve overwhelmed you! LOL Seriously, I do hope you’ll visit me often and that you enjoy whatever dark musings I’ve chosen to share with you. I’ll even go a step further and share with you my recently started Twitter - Sylver@SylverSidhe. Should I start any other social media accounts, I will share those as well. For now, I have as of yet to write in my writing journal, and I can’t think of anything else to add here – so, I’m off to write in my journal, and hopefully work on my novel before submitting to the drudgery of work. Looking forward to hearing from you and hoping I haven’t driven anyone insane with this deluge of information! Until next time,
|Author's Note - I know I'm a day early, but I work a long shift tomorrow and I'm not sure I'll feel up to posting tomorrow so I'm posting now. Also, please keep in mind these posts are from my daily writing journal so - can't say how they'll end or if they will end at all. :)
Cyali crouched near the river’s edge, eyes of ice green locked on the dark aquamarine depths, noting the gentle sway of aquatic vegetation. The vibrant orchid plants, as mesmerizing as their movement was, served only as a focal point, his attention on the two men standing less than fifteen feet behind him. Of particular interest was their hushed discussion, the two surreptitiously speaking of Daeandor Forest. More to the point, they debated the possibility of entering the cursed woods, of daring the spirit of the forest’s wrath. A dead man’s journey, Cyali knew, just as he was aware there was no point in trying to reason with them. They were duty bound to achieve their goal – and save the lost noble.
Lifting his head, he studied the thick boscage of trees, the undergrowth impenetrable, the foliage rich, vibrant, and healthy. A stunning sight that was so magnificent, so overwhelming one had to stop and admire the breathtaking vision, to contemplate the true meaning of natural beauty in all its imperfection. And Cyali was tempted – if not for the underlying tone of the aura, a sense of heaviness that seemed to portend danger. What concerned him was that he was the only one aware of just awaited them.
“You there! Elf!” Tirdol called, his accent reminding Cyali of someone who spoke with a sharp clip, but a loose jaw. A strange combination that created a sloppy facsimile of annunciation. “Come ‘ere!”
Cyali continued scrutinizing the wooded area across the river, his pale eyes revealing nothing of his thoughts, his expression confessing nothing of his heart. He simply sat back on his haunches and scanned the land before him with a critical eye, trying to determine exactly what had him on edge. Darkness. The longer he searched for what was wrong with the woods, the more he realized the woods were wrong. A darkness clung to the copse of trees like a skin, shunning all light, rejecting any illumination – or rather, she did, the Spirit of Daeandor, Lady of Shadows.
“Lord Cyali, will you join us, please,” Luca asked when Cyali, in no way, acknowledged Tirdol’s demand. “We have need of your council.”
Cyali glanced back and inclined his head before rising to his feet and joining the two men. As he approached, Tirdol took a step back, one hand coming to rest on the hilt of his sword, his lips pressing into an angry white slash across his pitted face. A reaction Cyali experienced all to often, Tirdol’s kind all too familiar to him – those humans who hated as much as feared Elvin kind, those who could not let go of the war that ended over twenty years before. The soul deep animosity was fueled by the realization that most Elves they met fought in the hostility between their ancestors and the Elvin nation. That malice was something Cyali chose to ignore, seeing no reason to stoke those fires in an attempt to put the flames out. People who wanted to hate – would hate.
“If it is my council you seek, then I must advise against Daeandor,” Cyali stated, his voice rumbling through the tense silence. Looking from Tirdol to Luca, he continued, wishing only to spare innocent lives the horrors of the cursed forest. “The Spirit of the Wood is not likely to sympathize with our cause.”
“Surprise, surprise! He’s a bloody coward!” Tirdol snorted derisively, he’s sounding more like his to Cyali. “He’s afraid of fairytales and ghost stories.”
“Enough!” Luca snapped, his voice deepening to a guttural growl, his eyes narrowing, his brow furrowed. “Quite enough, to be perfectly honest.” The man didn’t give his companion a chance to respond. Instead, Luca turned his back on Tirdol, facing Cyali. “I apologize, Lord Cyali…”
Cyali lifted a quieting hand, silencing Luca’s apology. “Tirdol’s ignorance is not my concern. What does concern me is your willingness to risk her wrath by daring to enter Daeandor.”
Tirdol opened his mouth, his lips curling into a derisive snarl, leaving no doubt as to his thoughts on Cyali’s stance. However, what he had to say in response he quickly swallowed, the biting words likely a bitter acid going down his throat and settling low to gnaw at his gut. Apparently, the man preferred that than facing Luca’s anger because a single warning glare from the latter silenced whatever disparaging comment Tirdol intended for Cyali. Luca, satisfied he’d reigned in his churlish companion, stared off at some distant point only he could see. A faint breeze tugged at a few strands of the man’s silvery white hair, causing the pale fringe dance against his brow, his almond shaped eyes lit with a raging fire of purpose, his jaw set in almost obsessed determination. At that moment, Cyali didn’t doubt Luca, he didn’t disbelieve the man’s dedication to his duty, his honor, and his king.
“I apologize for Tirdol and his mutinous tongue, and I pray his ignorance will not dissuade you from assisting us in our endeavors,” the human finally stated, his words calm, respectful, yet leaving no room for argument. “But understand this. With or without you, we will enter Daeandor. We have no choice. You yourself tracked Lord Shavanouck this far and, by your own admission, his tracks head straight for that Abyss Damned forest.” Luca hesitated, glancing at Tirdol, then toward the dreaded subject of the hour – Daeandor. “Tell me, what choice have we, Lord Cyali?”
A valid question Luca had every right to ask, one that – unfortunately – had only one answer. None. “Cyali,” he quietly murmured, pivoting on his heel and drifting over to the nearest fire.
“Wh-what?” Luca countered, following after him, Tirdol heavily trumping along, the heaviness of his steps silencing the nearby woodland creatures startled into hiding.
“Titles are unnecessary out here, do you not agree? My given name is enough,” Cyali explained as he crouched down, using a sturdy stick to stoke the campfire into new life. Watching the flickering flames as they licked at the air, hissing in warning, Cyali caught a glimpse of the fire element hidden within, drawing a hint of a smile to his lips. “If Daeandor is our destination, we shall resume our journey in the morning.”
“Morning?” Tirdol scoffed, refusing to remain silent any longer. “Lord Shavanouck will have died by then! Surely you, who speaks fearfully of the damnedable forest, would not leave a boy – a boy – to face those horrors alone!” He straightened himself in what seemed a feeble attempt to stand taller than Cyali, puffed out his chest, and looked Cyali from head to foot and, finally, met his gaze. “Perhaps you’re more coward than I thought!”
Biting back his amusement at Tirdol’s posturing, Cyali shook his head and released a slow, whispered sigh. “Do you know nothing of Daeandor, Tirdol? The spirit of the woods rejects all forms of light, which makes traveling through the dense undergrowth treacherous on the brightest of days,” he explained, resisting the urge to rise to his full height – a good five inches taller than the human he addressed. Tirdol was likely to misunderstand Cyali’s effort to honor his own culture and stand eye to eye with those he addressed, the man more apt to assume Cyali was trying to intimidate him with his superior height. “But what you propose is that we enter her domain in the middle of the night. How are we to light our way? How are we to find our way? More importantly, how do you suggest we find your young Lord Shavanouck? We could walk right past him and we’d never know, all the while the Lady’s denizens stalk us under the safe cover of dark with malicious intent flowing through their veins.” At that point, Cyali did rise to his feet, moving slowly toward Tirdol, ignoring the fact the man backed away from him. “I, dear Tirdol, have entered Daeandor on a number of occasions – and still live today, which is why your king requested my aid. But, if you truly believe you know better than I, then go ahead. Do what you must. Enter Daeandor and hunt for your noble in the dead of night. I will not stop you, but nor will I be there to help you when you need – and you will need.”
His peace spoken, Cyali turned and sank deeper into the camp, further from the river and the edge of Daeandor. He heard Luca, after a moment or two, reprimand Tirdol once again, the human speaking low enough that even Cyali was hard put to repeat what was said. What he did catch was Tirdol repeatedly asking if Cyali had indeed entered Daeandor on more than one occasion, the man unable to move past that revelation. The Elf didn’t remain to hear Luca’s response, uninterested in the rest of the conversation, his patience pushed to the limit by Tirdol’s challenges and ignorance. Better he focus his energy on preparing his tent, eating a bit of dinner, and settling down for the night – the next day one that promised to test everyone’s strength of heart.
Cyali heard someone approaching, the uneven gait accompanied by a hint of stale mead telling him all he needed to know – Tirdol. The man’s question, however, caught Cyali off guard, driving him to face his unwanted visitor. Tirdol looked confused and honestly curious, his anger and hatred fading beneath the heavy waves of curiosity. Cyali knew then what the human wanted to know, aware more questions would follow, but nothing between Tirdol and he would change. The man would still hate him for his race, although that loathing would come with a hint of admiration, begrudging or not. Perhaps for that reason, Cyali would share the story of what drove him into the cold embrace of Daeandor Forest.
| First things first. I believe I’ve come up with an agenda for my blog that I can keep up with while dealing with work, tending my babies (more on them later), and life in general – which can obliterated the best made plans. On Mondays, I intend to post one of my writing journal entries, which ever one I like the most or feel is very well written. My hope is you will give me plenty of feedback, and a simple writing exercise might turn into an epic novel! Never know! That also gives me more incentive to work on my writing journal every day instead of allowing things to distract me! On Thursdays, I want to post a normal journal entry – such as sharing my thoughts, talking about life, and attempting this social thing. Yes, I’m an extreme introvert (along with three quarters of the writing community) and social isn’t my thing. To be clear, Thursdays may prove a little harder for me than Mondays, so bear with me as I trudge into uncomfortable territory.
In the spirit of opening up a bit, I’ll share with you the issues I’m currently dealing with and why I’m struggling to write. I’m an assistant manager in retail, which is just a nightmare industry for introverts. Ironically, over half the people I work with – are introverts who put on a brave face every day and struggle through their shift. Add to that the stress and fears of Covid-19, particularly in an area where people just don’t bother with masks and ignore social distancing advice, and I think every one of my associates deserve awards and bonuses for every day that they come in to work. As for our store, we just finished inventory, which involved a lot of prepping on our behalf, and six day weeks for our store manager, the other assistant manager, and myself – not to mention the long hours we all put in every day. The benefits we were supposed to reap were the store manager going on vacation this week and vacation for me week after next. Nope. *shakes head* Life isn’t that easy. Two things – our other assistant manager is transferring out of our store. How much notice did we receive? Two days. That’s right. Two freaking, fracking, fidging days! Granted, a transfer takes two weeks, but our store manager still has to train her replacement – and in time for the replacement to be ready to take the reigns when the current assistant leaves. Not a lot of room for a vacation in there. Then, I found out Monday that the other assistant manager was directly exposed to Covid-19 – as in there is little chance she doesn’t have Covid, which means we were all exposed, as well. She’s suppose to get the results of her test today, and to say I’m a nervous wreck is an understatement. One, she has a young child, and I’m so worried about that. Then there is that not even I am sure what will happen at our store if she does test positive, beyond we have to get tested, but I’m not sure after that. Some context, I’m sure, is needed. We live in a small town with limited Covid testing resources, so they don’t want us to go in for testing unless she is positive. I think that’s also why we’ve had to wait for four days. So, yeah, that’s were my life stands right now and…it’s a lot scarier than you might think. Then again, you may well know from personal experience, and my heart goes out to you.
Okay, enough of that. Yes, my way of dealing is to just not think about things. Besides, I said I’d tell you about my babies. There is my dog, a Basenji mix, who is attached to my hip, is very spoiled, and remains my constant companion. We also have my daughter’s cat, a Bombay, who is glued to her side, and just as spoiled as my Pookybear. Both have been members of our family for many years. The newest additions to our family are Cookie and Cream, guinea pigs! They are about three months old (I’m guessing), maybe three and a half months. Cream, female, is mine, and she is a darling – very sweet natured, very gentle, although she chews on everything, and I do mean everything! At least, she’s sweet if you aren’t another guinea pig, but if you are – watch out because she rules and she’s a dictator. Cookie, male, is my daughter’s sweetling, and he is truly sweet, gentle, and calm, excluding his zoomie moods. Now, when we bought them, we were assured that they were both females. Over the next month, Cream started gaining a tremendous amount of weight and bullying Cookie more and more. Then, almost a month to the day after we bought them, we discovered – the twins! Yeup, Cream was pregnant when we bought her and we think – think – Cookie is daddy. The wee ones are Moche and Sundae, both males and perfectly adorable. Today, Cream is in my room in her own cage – as she doesn’t like other guinea pigs. We’re still working on socializing her with humans because, as sweet as she is, she is very skittish. Cookie is in my daughter’s room in his own cage, and he blossomed once he was alone. I mean, he shows a tremendous amount of personality now and he’s very, very friendly and affection. Moche and Sundae are in their own cage in the office and they are very dependent on each other. Working on socializing them, but if I pick up Sundae (who is mine), Moche goes wheeking crazy, and vice versa. They’re friendly and far less skittish than momma, but they don’t like being separated for any reason.
Well, there’s a peek into my life. Sorry for going on and on. I do hope you enjoy, though! You can follow me on Twitter – Sylver@SylverSidhe or on Tumblr – SylverSidhe. Look forward to hearing from you! Until next time…
*Edit - 6/12/20* When I arrived at work yesterday, I was informed that my coworker tested positive for Covid and, at some point, they'd shut the store down for sanitizing, but we weren't sure when. A few hours later, my manager called to inform me that our DM was on his way to our location to shut our store down. We all have to get tested for Covid and, those who test negative, will sanitize our store before we can re-open. I'm just loving 2020 - aren't you? -___-!!!!