See? Just that one extra line you have added makes it even more tangible. Now we are able to visualize a particular hour of the day, and have all those emotions swirl and concentrated upon it, making the moment heavier.
A lovely poem. However, as sad and poignant as it is, be aware that the prompt insists that the time 6 o'clock is featured in some way.
As much as we try to weave in the elements of our reality, remember we are also paying tribute to Alice in Wonderland and Carroll's style/theme of writing.
Wow! Thanks for sharing. I think the advice of not dwelling on mistakes is valid...it is done. Deal with what is and move on. Life is a tapestry ..the knitting example is so true! LOL
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