Each day feels new, and my memory of the one before is faint. I’m learning to adapt. |
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In September 2019, a seizure revealed a lime-sized meningioma pressed against my hippocampus—the part of the brain that governs memory and language. The doctors said it was benign, but benign didn’t mean harmless. Surgery removed the tumor, and three days later I opened my eyes to a new reality. I could walk, I could talk, but when I looked at my wife, her name was gone. I called her Precious—the only word I could find. A failure of memory, yet perhaps the truest name of all. Recovery has been less cure than re-calibration. Memory gaps are frequent. Conversations vanish. I had to relearn how to write, letter by halting letter. My days are scaffold by alarms, notes, and calendars. When people ask how I am, I don’t list symptoms or struggles. I simply say, “Seven Degrees Left of Center.” It’s not an answer—it’s who I’ve become. |
| I have developed an exercise asking my brain, "What are you going to do for me today?" Each day has its own challenges based on the previous day's activities. I cannot write every day. Some days, my brain just cannot make the connections needed to complete a sentence. I know that sounds weird. I even find it weird. As the gears grind and turn, my brain replies, "Move forward, ever forward." With that, I am writing this short note to warm up my keyboard figures and proceed with today's writing activities. |