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 Each day feels new, and my memory of the one before is faint. I’m learning to adapt. |
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In September 2019, a seizure revealed a lime-sized meningioma pressed against my hippocampus—the part of the brain that governs memory and language. The doctors said it was benign, but benign didn’t mean harmless. Surgery removed the tumor, and three days later I opened my eyes to a new reality. I could walk, I could talk, but when I looked at my wife, her name was gone. I called her Precious—the only word I could find. A failure of memory, yet perhaps the truest name of all. Recovery has been less cure than re-calibration. Memory gaps are frequent. Conversations vanish. I had to relearn how to write, letter by halting letter. My days are scaffold by alarms, notes, and calendars. When people ask how I am, I don’t list symptoms or struggles. I simply say, “Seven Degrees Left of Center.” It’s not an answer—it’s who I’ve become. |
| I took a week off because I had a problem with follow-through. The words stopped flowing. Some people may call it writer's block or a form of burnout, but it is something else. The story lost its flow. The words couldn't find the follow-through they needed to move the text forward. So, I put everything down for a few days to allow my brain to refresh. I will go back to work this week. The juices are flowing again. We often say keep writing. I wholeheartedly believe in that, but it is also okay to step back and take a break. Recharge, regenerate, and then follow through with energy. |
| Do you ever have trouble reading your work? If there is one truth about me, I am not an editor. When I reread my work, I wondered if the person who wrote it knew English or how to type. The first draft is so raw that it is almost impossible to read. That is why it is called a process. Most things make the second draft. If they make a third draft, I might be onto something. That is when the "want-to" kicks in. Do I really want to be a writer? The answer is yes; the process is part of the deal. Never give up on the process. Keep writing and reviewing and rewriting and reviewing until you are happy with something. Whether it is shared or published isn't important yet. I do say yet. Stay with the process, and the rest will eventually line up. Keep on writing! |
| What have you done for yourself yesterday? It is so easy to get caught up in doing things for other people. Did you do anything for yourself? Take a moment to hug yourself. Then, take a few deep breaths to get some oxygen. We all have things we have to do. Once those things are done, enjoy the time you have to do what you want. Self-care is healthcare. |
| As a teenager, I started writing Syfy but didn't finish it. Then, real life started. Things happened, getting in the way of daily writing practices. The next I knew, but didn't, that writing had ended up by the wayside. Now I have the time to write, but I miss the practice. It is like going to school again. The stories are there but mottled together. The brain injury doesn't help, but it does make me more persistent. So, if you are struggling to get the words out of your head, know you are not alone. Just keep writing! |
| This week has been all about crap. Writing isn't perfect on the first pass. Some people can self-edit in their heads while typing at the same time. Then there are others, like me, that write crap for hours and then spend days going through the editing process. Here is a thumbs up  to the crap writers that stay the course. Write on! |
| The next greatest gift to independent thought is writing those thoughts down. The hardest thing about writing thoughts down is not watching the errors grow on screen, at least in my experience. I get caught up in the errors, and I lose my thoughts because a misspelled word trips the process. I can't help but look at the screen as the letters appear. Then, my brain can't move past the errors to the end. I am forcing myself not to look at the screen to get these thoughts out of my brain and onto the screen before editing. Oops, I looked! Crap, now I lost my thoughts and have to fix errors. I'll be right back ... I may need to use an older text editor that doesn't catch mistakes. How about copying and pasting for corrections? Do you have any suggestions? |
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Sending prayers for continued improvement and recovery 
