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My journal about my conversion to Judaism. |
I started writing my conversion story in June 2023, even though it started before then. It will not be in chronological order as I remember things from the past that brought me to this point in my life. My decision to convert was not an easy one. I grew up Pentecostal. I watched my grandma speak in tongues. My aunt played keyboard in the church band. I used to attend church (a member of a Baptist church for many years) 3 to 4 times a week. I did not start my journey of healing after my divorce and expect to end up here. However, my desire and work to grow closer to G-d has left me no doubt or question about where I am now. I have no hesitation in my conversion to Judaism. This is my story of leaving Christianity and becoming a part of a people that I will be able to, one day, proudly say that I am also. A Jew. |
It's taken a while for it to sink in that I am now a Jew, and that my conversion is finished. I struggle with how to introduce myself and have to think of where I am and who I'm talking to on whether to say my legal name or my Hebrew name. I'm sure there will be a time that this gets easier, but I've seen others struggle with it, so perhaps not. Yesterday I met the Rabbi who sparkles. He was in town and it was nice to meet him. He didn't give a class, but it was still nice to meet him in person. I was finally able to study again with the Rabbi who laughs. I missed it is much. Sometimes I ask one question and it hijacks the entire lesson. I asked about the Schema prayer when it says to "Love the L-rd with all your heart." I have ideas when I think of love and ideas on how to love G-d, but what does it really mean? It turned into a really good Talmud study. I never would have understood it at this level before my conversion because it wouldn't have meant the same thing. Some learning is meant for everyone, and some is only meant for Jews, because it doesn't pertain to everyone. I've heard lectures on this before, but something told me to ask because it would be different. It was definitely on a different level and filled with new meaning. Every time I learn something, it's like G-d is answering my prayer again to know his laws and statutes. I am so thankful because I get to learn, I get to grow, I get a deeper connection with G-d, and with another answered prayer, I get to hear that reassuring voice say, "This is a reminder that I love you." Tonight is Shabbat. After being away one weekend, I am so thankful that I am home in the community. It's going to be a wonderful Shabbat. I can't wait. |