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 This is a continuation of my blogging here at WdC |
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This will be a blog for my writing, maybe with (too much) personal thrown in. I am hoping it will be a little more interactive, with me answering questions, helping out and whatnot. If it falls this year (2024), then I may stop the whole blogging thing, but that's all a "wait and see" scenario. An index of topics can be found here: "Writing Blog No.2 Index"  Feel free to comment and interact. |
| Jargon Following on from my column on technical terms ("20250514 Technical Terms" ), this came up – jargon. I did mention words and phrases that have different meanings to the norm, but these are actual words in formal use. Here I am going to look at some with even more niche meanings, but which are not official words or phrases. They are not technical terms – they are just words and phrases used on the job.Why? Because when writing about a group of people who know one another well or a well-established group or profession, you might want to portray them as having a language all their own. Still English, but different enough. It makes your world unique, and can be a part of world-building, creating that jargon-laden language so many have. Telling you how to do that is long and complex, so what I’ll do is list a bunch of them and hopefully you can see where the ideas come from, and utilise this to create your own. So, this is words, abbreviations, acronyms and initialisations that I have picked up in my various researches that are not exactly technical, universal terms, but are on-work jargon. Code Brown – in hospitals or police stations, something really bad is happening involving poo. Human excrement. Shit. Crop-dusting – when a flight attendant lets out a slow, silent fart while walking down the aisle of the plane. DWI – in the USA, police use DWI for “Driving While Intoxicated.” In Australia, the term is DUI, “Driving Under the Influence”, and covers drug-driving as well (remembering our more liberal drug laws). But sometimes cops will mention DWI. Most people think this means the US version… Nope. “Driving While an Idiot.” Elf On The Loose – used in retail stores for when a child goes missing during the hectic Christmas shopping period. Elf On The Shelf – used in retail stores during the Christmas madness when a child has been found and parents are being sought. Face/Heel – the good guys and bad guys in pro wrestling, now used in describing movie or TV characters as well. Face comes from Babyface, while Heel comes from the fact nothing is lower than a heel. Gone Camping – in hospitals means a patient has been moved to an oxygen tent. Hicide – another Australian police term, it means a death caused by a speeding vehicle, especially used for a motorcycle fatality. Honey Wagon – the truck used to empty septic tanks, especially from private residences. ID-ten-T Error – another tech support phrase. Why? ID-10-T… id10t… Mark – in carny speak or pro wrestling, a mark is one who does not realise that the games are rigged or the outcomes of the matches are pre-determined. PEBKAC/PEBCAK – a computer term used by people who work in IT tech trouble-shooting, especially for large companies: Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair/Chair And Keyboard. PICNIC – UK version of PEBKAC: Problem In Chair, Not In Computer. PO Box – another hospital one, slightly morbid. A patient is described as a PO Box meaning they are being kept alive as a “Parts Only” receptacle, there for organ donation only. Roo Poo – chocolate covered sultanas or peanuts; used to disguise just what is being shipped for… reasons. Sand-bagging – in professional wrestling and circus performing, it means dropping the weight and stopping co-operating. Can be because of injury or just being a dick or, often, forgetting what they were supposed to do next. Scooby Snack – a police term for a suspect who has been bitten by a police dog. Shoot The Puppy –in business, making an unpopular decision, often seen as cold and heartless, for the greater good of a company or organisation. Status: DQ – hospital term meaning “Status: Drama Queen”. Used for a patient who is, well, a drama queen. If asked, the meaning given to a patient I have heard is “Diagnosis Qualified.” So, there’s a few jargon terms that are very specific for certain occupations or situations, and can be used to hide the real meaning, so as to not upset or alarm the public, or because they just want to keep their inner workings to themselves. If making up your own, you can probably see where a lot of these come from. And why they would be used. Some are funny and abusive, yes, but all of this goes towards making people doing certain jobs feel like they are a part of an elite or special group. And humour can help alleviate a stressful situation. Don’t be afraid to invent your own. Heinlein did it in The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress with TANSTAAFL: There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch. And in the Long… series Pratchett and Baxter developed “stepping” as the ability to move between worlds. Don’t be afraid to experiment. And if it fails? Delete in draft #2. Have fun! |
| Novel #9 Brooke was written quite quickly – I had an idea and it just came out onto the page, logorrhoea. However, it was actually written in the middle of my writing the next novel – Brothers In Arms. This one I was really happy with. Clocking in at 78100 words, it was also the first novel to break that 72000 word barrier, and so be officially classified a novel by every publishing house I knew at the time (I have since found some that consider 78000 words to be the cutoff, and it breaks that as well, albeit only just… but Baen has 80k words, so not quite there). As is my wont, it falls into that genre of supernatural horror, with demons and the living dead and lots of death and destruction. Brothers In Arms tells the story of a young man, recently divorced, whose parents and twin brother have all died, as well as a young son. But his brother somehow comes back, and is pursued by otherworld entities that do not wish the dead to return to Earth. While these monsters are the “bad guys”, I like to think I put enough shades of grey in the story for the reader to think they were just doing their job; after all, what would the world be like if the dead could come back at will? And yet, in the end, there is a hint that maybe it was allowed after all… The story follows along smoothly. I like the character development, even though yet again I have a whiny, neurotic main character. His ex-wife is well developed, though, and the brother who comes back has just enough manic presence to be believable (I hope). The secondary hero – a cop – is a bit of a two-dimensional stereotype, but he is only important at the very end. I also like the way I have set up Adelaide, Victor Harbor and Port Hughes (all real places). I think I’ve captured a little something of the towns/cities in winter. At least, at that time. Port Hughes looks very different nowadays, after a golf course and subsequent development extension, and Victor Harbor has exploded in size. Also, the destruction scenes are surprisingly subdued for me. The biggest complaint I’ve had from readers is my description of the hunter at the very end of the story. The general consensus is that I put in too much description, and should have left more for the reader’s imagination. As it is, I described it using a Hieronymus Bosch creation as the template, and yet I probably agree with the criticism. If I ever do go back and try a re-edit, I’ll definitely reduce the physical description in this case. I was so happy with it that over the next year I sent it out to 6 publishers and 2 agents. I got one response, from an agent, who said it was not “the genre” he sold, even though supernatural horror was prominent in his advert. I edited it and rewrote bits of the middle and tried again in 1999 with (according to my records) 5 publishers, including one I’d sent it to before, albeit inadvertently. Surprisingly, it was this second try publisher who was the most encouraging. They wanted the full manuscript, and an alternate ending. I gave both. 6 months later a “sorry” rejection, but with 3 suggestions for improvements: amp up the blood and gore aspects, amp up the relationship between hero and ex-wife, and get into the hero’s emotional head a bit more. But by now I was rewriting another novel, and so put it on the back-burner, and never got around to rewriting it. Now, of course, I’d have to re-write absolutely everything and make it 2025… almost 30 years later… Excerpt: “Relax…” the husky voice said soothingly. “Just calm down…” “What?” Panic had taken a firm grip on Robert’s mind. The sight before him was one which should not even exist in his nightmares… but here it was. Tony, his own brother, drowned at Port Hughes ten years ago, was standing before him… although it wasn’t Tony, was it? It could not be him… No way known… “Robbie, I need your help,” the person pleaded. “This can’t be happening,” was the muted response. Robert could feel his mind going numb again… but he also knew he had to fight it. If – just if – he let go this time he probably would not come back… “You’re not real.” “But I am.” The figure shook his head sadly, but never took his eyes off Robert. His eyes… and finally a smile crept across Robert’s lips. “You can’t be Tony,” he whispered. “Tony had…” “Blue eyes, I know.” An uncomfortable pause, then: “And brown hair, like yours. My eyes are black, the eyes of death. And my hair has gone white. It’s just the way it is…” “NO!!” Robert started to scream, but a firm hand over his mouth silenced him. A cold, clammy hand, waxy to the touch, slightly damp… He shivered violently and the Tony-person released him. “Please, listen to me,” he begged. “It is me, Tony, Anthony, Tone, as you called me, whatever you want, but it is me…” “A ghost,” Robert stated firmly, nodding, grasping at this new conviction firmly with his mind. “If this isn’t a dream, then you’re a ghost… ow!” The figure slapped him hard across the side of the face. “Can ghosts hit people?” “Poltergeist, then…” Robert rubbed his jaw slowly, not really feeling either the blow or his hand on his skin. Despite all his best intentions, he could definitely feel his mind slipping away from him, going fast, going forever… “If you’re real, and this isn’t all just a bad dream…” And that comment seemed to stir something in the dark recesses if his mind. “You can’t be real. I just think you look like Tony. You’re just some little punk playing stupid fucking games with me, aren’t you?” He grabbed the collar of the too-big jumper the teenager before him was wearing and shook him hard. “So who put you up to this? Who’s making you do this to me? Answer me, dammit!” The look of fear which came over the other’s face was instantaneous. “You used to call me Toto because you knew I hated it,” he muttered. “And I called you Robber Robbie because you stole two dollars from mum’s purse when we were ten or eleven. You caught me sleeping with Jody Harmer’s undies one night when we were fourteen. And I saw you kissing our sister Kathleen’s best friend when we were fifteen and she was nineteen! You lost your virginity when you were fifteen to that Margie Carlyle girl from up the road! What more do you need to hear? I’m your brother! I’m Tony! And I need you now!” Robert’s whole body shook madly, without restraint and he was doubled over in pain. He could sense the nausea rising strongly in his chest and into his throat, but he did not want to go through that again. “I don’t believe you…” he growled. “But you’ve got to,” was the response. “I need your help…” “You’re a ghost, if you even exist. And ghosts don’t need help…” he returned thickly. His tongue was growing thicker in his mouth, or so it seemed, making speech difficult… and, for some reason, thought as well. “Robbie…” “I don’t think you’re even real…” Robert muttered as thought he teenager wasn’t even talking. “It’s the cold, and my grief and everything else. I’m imagining things. I’ve just got to see a doctor and everything’ll be all right, I know it will…” “Robbie…” “…I just know it will. It has to be. I’m seeing things and hearing things and feeling this and it’s just not right…” “Robbie, please…” “…I need help…” “Robbie…” Suddenly Robert’s head snapped up and his angry eyes seemed to push the youngster back. “Go!” he growled. “Just leave me be. I don’t want to know about it!” “But…” “GO AWAY!” he screamed, dropping to his knees and leaning his head on the damp ground, his wet hair plastered about his face like a coating of wet mud. Nothing came to him through his mental anguish… then footsteps walked briskly away, fading into the distance. He was alone again. Alone with his feelings and memories… alone in a world all his own… It is too much tell and not enough show, I stick with very superficial descriptions of what is internal, ignoring a lot of that physiology that hits, and the emotions are surface level. The rekindling of the romance also feels undeserved. And look at all those ellipses! But I think this story shows me (at least) that I was improving, even if a little, as a writer. I do still like this story, and is one of the very few older novels of mine I don’t mind re-reading. Maybe one day I will give it a do-over… Maybe. One day. |
| External Writerings May 2025 That time of the month where I list the writing I have done for Weekend Notes (and any other places that could be bothered publishing me online). Songs and films only this time. Just some favourites and a DVD review. Standard stuff, but lots to listen to! Remember, you do not have to listen to the songs (though I would be grateful if you did), but every look at the articles from a different IP address with no ad blockers helps me out in my increasingly desperate attempts to make money as a person who writes. My favourite songs from Eurovision... and most didn't make the final! Although the winner is here. Some songs about praying. Reviewing a film that I think is often under-valued from the Star Warts canon , for May the 4th (B with U). Some very different cover versions and reinterpretations of classic rock and pop songs. (And a Christmas carol.) My favourite albums released in 1965. Some absolute corkers here! 5 articles this month. I have to do at least 4 to keep my ranking in the top 25 contributors, so your clicks will also help me in that regard. As usual, if you want a certain topic covered in songs (I can do films and books as well), leave a comment below. I would love to give readers what they want. |
| Using Real Places – A Warning A thing happened. This is sort of related to my "20250509 Using Real People In Fiction Pt 2" post as well.A fellow local writer (who has had a great deal of success as a writer of Westerns) and I spoke about this the other day. Yes, an Australian writing US westerns, all of them published by a UK firm and selling really well in mainland Europe. Let’s not get into the way publishing works… Anyway, nowadays he writes historical romance stories and modern thrillers, all set in the local area in which we live. He self-publishes and sells them at markets. I’ve read them; they are quite good. He could easily have a publisher pick them up, but he reckons he’s beyond that at over 80 years of age. Like me, he uses the real local locations to make our stories more realistic. If anyone read my Invasive Species, they could go to Ardrossan and see all those locations; and, yes, all of them are still there! A mutual friend of ours who also self-publishes – her books are not the best; I avoid reading them now – writes detective stories set in the same area. Like the other two of us, she uses businesses and buildings that exist. She’s been doing this for a few years – I think her series (with a recurring character…) is five books in – and she makes a point of mentioning when businesses change or close or whatever, to give her stories that sense of now, and a sense of definite time. I have no issue with that. Sue Grafton did something similar with her alphabet series. However, someone has now had an issue with that. One of the businesses that appeared in her first two books, and was then quietly dropped, has demanded the business be taken out of the books. So… what happened? Well, the reason the business – a café – was dropped from the books was because the author and the owner had a falling out. To the author’s credit, her detective simply started going to a different place to have her “cuppa, white, no sugar” and no mention was made of the other business. Nothing disparaging, nothing at all. The character just went elsewhere. Readers might have been confused but it was hardly a big deal. Well, the issue between then grew a little more heated recently – neither of us know why, but there are “sides” being formed; stupid small town personality politics –and now this demand. The author went to our local (state) writer’s centre for free legal advice. Guess what? The business is fully within their rights. There was not even a verbal agreement between them. The author just started using the business and its name. I guess that beggars the question – how have the other two of us not been caught up in something similar? I mean, apart from the obvious reason of not being dicks and getting involved in petty power politics of a personal penchant. One, both of us went to the businesses and asked permission to use them. In my case, it was a café, a gym, a bakery and a corner store. The gym has since changed hands, but it is still there. Second, and I think this is very important, neither of us used the actual names of the businesses. I called the bakery “the bakery”, for example, not “Ardrossan bakery”. We use the names of real streets, but both understood you don’t have to use the real names of businesses. What I think this means is that you need to be careful not just using the names of real people, but everything that has a name. Now, the advice we have received legally is that multi-national corporations are fair game (like public figures), and only two companies do not like their company names used in fiction works – Disney and Apple. So your characters can drink Coke or Pepsi, go to KFC or McDonalds, use an IBM or HP computer , no issue. But drinking the KIS honey drink, go to Wallaroo Shores Eatery, use an OZMachines computer… maybe not? Just use generic terms: “the pub”, “the deli on Washington Ave”, “the local ginger ale”… Better be safe than sorry. As to our mutual friend, the legal advice is that she might have to pulp any leftover copies of those first two books unless she can reach an agreement with the business owner. There is nothing libellous, so what a court would decide is anyone’s guess, but it will also be costly. Just be careful who you mention and who you talk about. |
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Thank you for this very informative piece.
