My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.
THE STORY
A solider lays flags on graves.
WHAT I LIKED
I liked the emotional sentiment behind the man laying flags on the graves.
POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the 3rd person omniscent. Past tense is used in the story.
DIALOGUE
There is an internal dialogue which accents emotional points.
OPENING PARAGRAPH
The opening paragraph sets the stage for the flag placement. There's a sense of duty, but there's also underlying emotional beat that the reader will soon discover.
CHARACTERS
The man placing the flags finds a deeper meaning to the gesture of placing flags on military graves.
Alyssa sighed. She had to break out of this illusion. She ran away. It seemed like everyone was watching her every move. But she seemed to notice a pattern. When the illusion was empty, that meant someone was watching. When the illusion was complete, that meant nobody was watching. The illusion flickered. An open door! Full. That meant nobody was watching. She broke the barrier through the door. The illusion fell. A dead end with lots of hiding spots. She went over to the curtain. Something was hidden in it. She went closer and closer to it. Her body began to show signs of turning into a monster. A monster that had red skin. Behind the curtain was a pair of large eggs! She used her hands to measure. About three feet tall. But too late. The eggs started humming and vibrating under her touch. She had bonded with them! She moved them to the ground and noticed the rings. She put on those rings. For clothing and food, she activated it. Immediately, she was wearing a heavy robe with a hood. Any clothes she was wearing got shrouded. She checked her skin. Back to brown. These eggs had healing powers.
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