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| The Guardian tackles the burning question of our time: Why is that even a question? It's blindingly, mind-numbingly obvious that night owls are superior in every way. We're also more attractive and intelligent, and wealthier. We all know that early birds get the worm. But who wants a worm? My favorite riff on that is forever "The second mouse gets the cheese." The article, however, saves that bit of wisdom for (spoiler!) the end. US work culture is not really optimal for night owls. Rather, it favours CEOs who get up at 4am and run a marathon while the rest of us hit the snooze button. Funny how the author cites US work culture and then uses the UK spelling of "favours." Anyway, whatever, I don't believe one bit of the mythology surrounding CEO "success." I think in most cases, they've got cause and effect reversed. Still, I always consoled myself with the idea that night owls are actually more intelligent and creative than their early bird counterparts. And prettier, don't forget. Franz Kafka and Thomas Wolfe wrote at bedtime; Bob Dylan recorded at night. Even scientific studies indicated it was true. Okay, well, to be serious for a moment, those are probably more cases of causal reversal. Musicians, in particular, tend to be night owls; that doesn't mean all night owls are musicians. Me, for example. Couldn't carry a tune in a bucket with robotic assistance. No, seriously, even autotune would take one listen to me, then spark and smoke. Also, professional writers generally aren't forced to follow anyone else's schedule. However, something weird has happened. Due to a combination of existential dread, cutting out alcohol and having a small child who wakes me up at an ungodly hour, I’ve started to go to bed earlier and earlier. This is why I don't cut out alcohol or have kids. The existential dread thing is, however, inescapable. This shift has me questioning everything. Is it actually possible for your body clock to change? Am I really turning into an early bird or have I just been forced into a child-dictated schedule? And if I am an early bird, does that make me a lesser being? My guesses: Maybe, the latter, and definitely. My first discovery: you can’t help who you are; your optimal bedtime is hardwired into you. I really dislike "hardwired" when applied to biological entities. It's a metaphor, yes, I know. I've shifted my sleep hours many times over the course of my life. That doesn't mean I've enjoyed it. Fortunately, I'm now in a position to sleep when I want and, usually, wake up naturally. Back to that all-important question, though: does being a night owl make you more creative and intelligent? Jokes aside (my answer is always "yes"), let's not confuse correlation with causation. More recently, researchers at Imperial College London studied UK data on more than 26,000 people who had completed various intelligence tests. The 2024 paper found that those who stay up late had “superior cognitive function” to morning larks. Like that, for example. My actual (non-comedic) hypothesis is that your mental function is optimized when you can most closely adhere to your chronotype, and a lot more owls are forced into a lark schedule than vice-versa. “The timing of the biological clock determines more than just when people like to go to bed and get up and when they feel most alert during the day,” says Van Dongen. “It also determines in part the kinds of activities they may end up participating in and the experiences they get exposed to.” If you naturally get up early, it may be easier for you to thrive in a corporate work environment, for example. Or, you know... that. One thing sleep experts all seem to agree on is that trying to force a routine that is at odds with your biological clock is unhealthy. And yet, people are forced into such routines, well, routinely. Being a night owl may come with other risks. A 2024 study from Stanford Medicine researchers found that being up late is not good for your mental health, regardless of chronotype. The reasons are unclear, but researchers suspect it’s because unhealthy behaviours such as drinking alcohol or eating junk food are more likely late at night. Counterpoint: I do most of my drinking (which does not happen every day) during the afternoon. I don't call it day-drinking, though. There's no such thing as day-drinking. There is only drinking. There's quite a bit more at the article, so you can go there if you want. Meanwhile, I'll be over here sleeping. |