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A journal of my reconnection with my writing roots and my return from a decade-long block. |
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Good day, all, and I hope it finds you well! Those of you who know me are aware that I talk about having been blocked for a decade. If you're struggling with a block yourself, maybe something here will speak to you. I occasionally write about my abandonment by my "muse," and how that has left me helpless, adrift on the winds of fate, and unable to write anymore. But that's what we who came of age in the 60s used to call a cop-out. Anyone with two cells to rub together knows that there is no supernatural woman in diaphanous robes, or in my case, a crotchety old git, who whispers wonderful ideas in your ear. You either have them, in which case you write, or you don't. Now, when I say I haven't written in ten years, what that actually means is that I haven't finished anything in those ten years. I've written plenty, there's just no follow-through. One of those projects that started strong then petered out is "Hunter's Creed"  , a fantasy with great evil opposed by a paladin and his sidekick, a wisecracking ghost. I completed four chapters of what I envisioned as a novella, and then it died under me like a lamed horse, leaving me stuck and with my interest comatose as well. My friend Raven  was providing me with fantastic feedback and was gracious about my departure, but I know she was disappointed. In a very real way, this is for her.You see, giving up makes everything simple. It frees you up from the grind and allows you to vegetate as you see fit. But I don't want to be an ex-writer. As enjoyable as it has been to get up in the morning, boot up Fallout 4, Skyrim, or XCom, and turn it off at bedtime, the siren song of the written word is strong. So in the absence of an active "muse," whatever you consider that to be, I shall turn to discipline and experience. I am going to sort out where Hunter's Creed went wrong, ruthlessly savage the errant parts, and turn it into a story that the old me would be proud of. I refuse to watch from the sidelines any longer, and I thank you for this "New Me," Raven. I doubt I'd be doing this without your generosity. The moral of this story is, write something, anything. Then edit it. Polish it. Make it work. And above all, stay inspired! ~ Jack 
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| Greetings, all, and welcome. If you read the intro, you know what this journal is about, and if you've been struggling with a block yourself, maybe you can find something here to help you break the logjam. I hope so, and I further hope that I find something here that helps me, because this has gone on for far too long for my liking. A bit of history will serve to demonstrate who you're dealing with. I'm 76 years old; I'll be 77 in three weeks. I began recreational writing at the age of ten under the encouragement of my fifth grade teacher who thought she saw something. I was no prodigy; what I wrote was drivel of the sort you might expect any ten-year-old boy to churn out, but it was practice. It was learning. It was establishing the wiring that would lead to "Beyond the Rails" , "Broken English" , and a good many others that would bring me some acclaim and a modest amount of coin. And then one day it stopped.I had finished The Wellstone Chronicles, which you will eventually see here, and was assembling materials for my next opus maximus when my so-called "muse" cleaned out his desk and departed for other quarters. I think I've made it clear that I don't believe in a muse, but the simile describes perfectly what happened to me. One day I was a prolific writer, and the next day I couldn't write a grocery list. Some vital component of the writing Craft had had enough, and that was that. I've tried. Like I said, I don't want to be an ex-writer. I developed some stories, some you can find in "Jack's Attic" , but the ease that it came with was gone. I'd get a few chapters in and post them here in the hope that I would be too embarrassed to quit, but that didn't work. So I finally drifted away, accepting my lot and making up excuses for why it was acceptable. See "You Don't Know Jack!" for reference.But I was contemplating my lot last night after the house got quiet, and I woke up this morning fired with determination to recapture the writer I used to be. This journal stands to be a huge part of that process, being a record of how I felt and what I did each day of the process. Should I start to slump, I can come back here and read my thoughts on returning to form, reminding myself that I'm on a mission, and time won't wait for me to shake off a funk; it just keeps rolling on, with me or without me. The format will be as follows: I'll post in the morning, maybe not every morning, but surely every other morning isn't too much to expect. I'll talk about what I hope to accomplish during the day. Then I'll update the post in the afternoon, talking about what I was able to get done, my thoughts on it, and my plans for tomorrow. I'll try to keep it interesting, and with luck, will offer some insights that may help you with your own problems. Let me be clear about one thing, though: If you are expecting a "magic bullet" or some mystic salve that will effortlessly make your block dry up and blow away, I don't have that. My "muse," whatever that thing is that makes writing a joy, is gone. All I can offer is the discipline to sit down over your keyboard or your handwritten notes, and the experience to know what has worked in the past, bring it into the present, and make it work again. That's what I'll be doing today. I'll be looking at my notes for "Hunter's Creed" , looking mostly at my villain, who seems both weak in concept and something of a caricature, a villain who is evil for evil's sake without any real reason behind it. Drama is only as strong as its villain, and that's a pretty poor excuse for one. So I'll be working on that today, and I'll have WdC open on the computer, meaning if anyone wants to talk with me, I'll be here, but my main focus will be turning this weak-sauce story into a serious page-turner. I know how. It's a simple matter of determination!UPDATE It's late afternoon. I've been at it for hours. My head is full of cotton and my ears are ringing; I'm going to stop before I do more harm than good. Chapter One is fully cleaned up. It will probably see more edits before I declare it finished, mind, but it's close to final form. I didn't get to dig into the villain today. My next session will undoubtedly be more difficult as Chapter Two starts with our first look at that character, and that's where the biggest job of work is going to be. This will definitely be the make-or-break episode! It may take several sessions, actually, but once I get the villain sorted out, I feel like everything else will be minor. Wish me luck... Write something, anything. Edit it. Polish it. Make it work! ~ Jack |
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) anyway, they almost had a thing going on, rather to my astonishment. Perhaps you can get some concepts and themes from studying the Three Musketeers.
